<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Connected by YourSina</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407696">Connected</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourSina/pseuds/YourSina'>YourSina</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cute Eren Yeager, F/M, Falling In Love, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Protective Older Brothers, Titan Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:01:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>86,383</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourSina/pseuds/YourSina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Three lives that should never have crossed and one incident that eventually brought them together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eren Yeager/Original Female Character(s), Erwin Smith/Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sina</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey ♥<br/>I just wanted to say that English is not my first language, and sorry in advance if there are mistakes in the text ♥<br/>art of our girls: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_AE2D4Bqun/?igshid=1bm85byb39nyr</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Release your power</p><p>A little patience</p><p>You won't let me down</p><p>You'll be my salvation</p><p>Plazma - Salvation</p><p>***<br/>
2 days before the fall of the wall Maria.</p><p> </p><p>Which is worse, physical or mental pain? I often asked this question, but I could not find an answer. But now I think I did. There is no difference, just one leaves visible traces, and the other leaves no traces at all. At least others do not see them. In fact, I am used to one and the other pain. They have become my faithful friends for as long as ... how many? 15 years? I can not say exactly. My father say that I was born in spring, but when, he forgot to clarify. Or maybe he didn't want to. Neither did he want me. He never said this to my face, but one glance made it clear how much I was a "favorite" daughter. I don't know why he left me at all. He could throw me out on the street or sell me to the first brothel that came across, because they are at every corner, and he wouldn't even have to go far. Maybe he took pity on me. Or he simply decided that I would be useful. For example, I can steal. And I have been doing it for the last 10 years.</p><p>I don't like stealing. Moreover, I hate it. But when my father left me alone for several months, and the only edible thing at home was a rat, which could have eaten me instead, because it was huge, then there was no choice for me. Either that, or starve to death. I even tried somehow. But it hurt so much that I could not stand it for a long time. Maybe I'm weak. But I was 6 years old, and the hunger and pain were unbearable. When my father found out that I had stolen food, a loaf of bread and a small piece of cheese, which had already started to grow moldy, he simply grunted and said that it turned out that I was some benefit. And since then I have had to steal.</p><p>I hardly knew my father. I even found out his name when I was 13, and that was purely by accident. A stranger came to our house and demanded money from my father. They argued and shouted for a long time, furniture flew in all directions. This man called my father "Kenny". That's how I found out his name.</p><p>But my father never called me by my name. I don't even know how I got it. Maybe from my mom? I would like to believe in that. When I was a little girl, I often imagined what my mother was like. For some reason, in my imagination, she was always beautiful. And she always smelled so good. Like sweets or freshly baked buns. She always smiled at me, stroked my hair while I was sleeping in her lap. Sometimes she even sang a lullaby when I had nightmares. Then I buried my face, red and wet from tears, in her neck and she hugged me and said that everything gonna be fine, that she would always be there for me and would never leave me. At such moments, I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay in my dreams forever. My dad never said who my mother was. Once I asked him. He just turned away and said, "You don't have a mother, only me."<br/>
Wrapped in my jacket, which did not save me from the terrible cold, I walked, not knowing where. I just need to go somewhere, because if I stop, I will freeze. And if I freeze, I will die. Even though we are underground, however, this does not save us from the cold. Since there is no sun in the Underground City, it is always cold, damp and smells disgusting. This is a real trash heap, and we are just rats who are used to living in mud. People in the Underground City rarely live to old age, we either kill each other, or the Underground City kills us. They say this is the safest place because there are no titans and they will not be able to get us here. I'd rather choose to be devoured by a titan instead of rotting alive in this pit.</p><p>What should I do now? Where should I go? I don't have a job or money and I am homeless. My father, as always, had not been at home for six months, and, accordingly, no one paid for housing. They gave me exactly one week to find my father, or money. Of course, I did not find anything. There is even nothing to say about my father, he has sunk through the earth, and no one was eager to lend money to a petty unemployed poor brat. A week passed and I had nothing. And now I'm in the street.</p><p>The cold went down to my bones, but I kept walking. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Somewhere deep I still hope to find my father. He could have returned. Maybe he even went looking for me when he found out that our house had been taken away. Although at the back of my mind I knew that it was only in my mind. He doesn't need me. Never needed.</p><p>Suddenly I stopped and sniffed. It was the most wonderful, the most delicious smell in the whole world. The smell of freshly baked bread. My brain refused to think, and my body just gave in to instinct. I don't remember when was the last time I ate. Five days ago, maybe more I guess. I quickened my pace, trying not to lose the smell. As a result, he became stronger and stronger, and I almost broke into a run.</p><p>I turned the corner and walked out onto the main street. It was terribly crowded here today, but I, spit on the crowd, made my way through the stream of people, shoved them aside, even stepped on someone's foot and heard very eloquent expressions in my direction, but I didn't care. In my head there was only "Food!".</p><p>In the end, I realized that I was standing right in front of the pastry shop. People walked around me, pushed me on the shoulder, touched my hands, almost knocking me down, but I just stood, unable to look away from what was right in front of me.</p><p>Many different rolls covered with chocolate, raisins and powdered sugar, bread loaves, from the smallest to huge, almost half a meter long, bagels, buns and many other things, whose names I don't even know. Looking at all this, my stomach growled frantically, begging me to take at least something and just eat. I don't understand what I am doing, but I slowly raise my hand and take a small loaf of bread. It is so soft in my hand, it smells so delicious that I even sob involuntarily. This is the best bread I have ever seen in my life. But a shout rips me out of my thoughts.</p><p>"Hey, what are you doing? Put it back! First money, then goods!"</p><p>I look up to see an angry man in a white apron in front of me. Probably the owner of the shop. I again lower my gaze to the bread in my hands and involuntarily press it to my chest.</p><p>"I-I don't have m-money".</p><p>My voice is so low that I doubt if a man heard me at all in such a noise. My hands are starting to tremble, it seems to me that I am about to faint.</p><p>"No money, so there is no conversation. Give me the bread".</p><p>He reaches out to pick up the loaf, and I almost jump away from him like from a mad dog. I understand that it is necessary to give the bread, that it is wrong, that I am acting disgusting, but I can't help myself, my hands do not obey me, but only squeeze the unfortunate piece of bread tighter.</p><p>"Please, I am so hungry, I have not eaten for several days! Please!"</p><p>The man looks at me with dumbfounded eyes, he doesn't say a word for a couple of seconds, and then his face changes to an expression of anger. The hand rises and the next thing I feel is that I am already on the ground, and my cheek burns as if a hot steel was applied to it. Tears fill my eyes. He has hit me.</p><p>"Oh, you brat! You thought you had found a stupid fool who, out of the kindness of his soul, would give you everything he had? Or wanted to steal? Thief! Give me the bread now!"</p><p>The man grabs the loaf with both hands and pulls it towards himself, but I grabbed it with all the strength that still remained in my body. Tears are pouring down my cheeks, a shiver hits my body, and my cheek burns even more. But I cannot give this bread. I hold on to him, as if this is my last hope, as if without him I would die. Though maybe I would.</p><p>"No Please!"</p><p>I see the man raise his hand to hit me again. I instinctively close my eyes and wait for the blow. My body is shaking as in a fever, my heart is ready to jump out of my chest at any second. But there is no blow. Instead, I hear a deep male voice.</p><p>"Enough, you scared this poor girl to death. I think the death of a kid is not worth one loaf of bread".</p><p>I slowly open my eyes. A tall blond man stands over the owner of the bakery and holds his hand to prevent him from hitting me. The owner himself looks at the stranger with frightened eyes, and after a few seconds lowers his hand. Then he looks at me, and whispering: "Little bitch", turns around and leaves. I can hear people around me begin to whisper, everyone looks sideways in my direction, looking at the tall man in front of me. I make out the words: "Erwin Smith" and " the Scouting Legion". The Scouting Legion? I look at the man in bewilderment and see the emblem on his green cloak. The Wings of Freedom.</p><p>What is the Survey Corps doing in the Underground City? I've never seen them before. Are these the very heroes of humanity who go beyond the walls? And this Erwin? Who is he?</p><p>So many questions were in my head that I did not immediately understand that my name was called. The blond man leans over me and squeezes my shoulder gently.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>I didn't quite trust my voice yet, so I just nodded. I realized that I was still sitting on the ground. A crowd of people was already gathering around us. I tried to get up. Erwin, realizing what I was about to do, gave me his hand, and I accepted it gratefully. Rising to my feet, I looked at him and whispered:</p><p>"You saved me. Thank you so much."</p><p>Erwin stared at me for a while without answering. As soon as I decided that I wouldn't receive anything else, he suddenly asked:</p><p>"What's your name?"</p><p>I shifted a little and decided that nothing bad would happen if he knew my name. After all, he helped me. It would be rude and ungrateful not to say only that.</p><p>"Sina."</p><p>Erwin was silent. I, unable to bear his gaze, lowered my eyes to the ground. Why is he looking at me like that? Do I somehow look wrong?</p><p>"What is your surname?"</p><p>I looked up sharply at the man. My surname? I haven't said it for so long that even now I'm not sure if it's mine. But I do remember that my father mentioned it a couple of times. Along with the name of some woman. He said that with our surname we must serve the king, and we vegetate in these slums. I didn't believe in all this. If our last name was really that important, we would not be here. I wouldn't be here. But I'm still here, so I don't care about the last name. I took a deep breath and answered:</p><p>"Ackerman."</p><p>If Erwin was surprised, he didn't show it. But instead, another voice said:</p><p>"Ackerman?"</p><p>I looked at the new voice in surprise. It was also a man with the same green cloak as Erwin's. Apparently, also from the Survey Corps. Black hair, cold gray eyes. He was rather short. This is probably why I did not notice him immediately. I shivered, this look really was cold.</p><p>"Y-yes. Is that okay?"</p><p>This man looked at me incredulously. I'm starting to dislike it at all. Maybe the Survey Corps had some kind of score with my father? This would come as no surprise. It seems to me that every person in the Underground City wants to kill him. The man ignored my question and asked:</p><p>"Who are your parents?"</p><p>I knew they needed my father. A chill went down my spine. What if they find out that Kenny is my father? They gonna kill me? What if they killed him? That's why he was away for so long. Run, I must run. Maybe call for help?</p><p>"Calm down, you look as if you are ready to die . We won't do anything for you. Just answer the question."</p><p>His voice and that look that could kill me at any moment didn't make it any easier. I'm nervous. Probably need to tell them. If I lie, it will get worse.</p><p>"I-I only have a father. But I haven't seen him for 6 months, I have no idea where he is. His name is K-Kenny"</p><p>The black-haired one was surprised. He looked at me with wide eyes and clearly could not believe what I just said.</p><p>"Kenny have a daughter?"</p><p>I just stood there and said nothing. What else could I say? If parents could be chosen, I would never have chosen him as a father. But life is a cruel thing, so I can only come to terms. Erwin broke the silence first.</p><p>"Levi, when was the last time you saw Kenny?"</p><p>And then it was my turn to be surprised. I turned my gaze to the man Erwin had just called Levi. I heard that name. Father once mentioned him. When he came home drunk and began to say something about his sister and her son. I was surprised that Kenny has relatives. I also remembered his sister's name because it was very beautiful. Kushel. And now I'm standing right in front of her son. It's cannot be true!</p><p>"Are you the son of Kushel?"</p><p>I can see his expression change to shock. We look at each other for a while. I, waiting for an answer, but he apparently just lost the ability to talk.</p><p>"H-how? How do you know?"</p><p>I look at him and I can't help it. Tears start flowing down my cheeks again. My heart is pounding like crazy.</p><p>"M-my father spoke about her once. That his sister has a s-son and that his name is Levi. At that time I t-thought it would be nice to m-meet you. That t- then I wouldn't be so lonely."</p><p>At the end, I could no longer speak. I was choking with sobs, I was shaking, my legs gave in, and I fell to the ground. I tried to wipe away my tears, but they kept flowing. None of us spoke a word. Finally, when my sobbing subsided a little, Erwin took a deep breath and, turning to Levi, said:</p><p>"I guess you've just found your sister."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Anna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I can't stay here longer</p><p>You cannot make me cry</p><p>So I will leave you to wonder</p><p>What will become of our lives</p><p>Sergey Lazarev - Scream<br/>***<br/>I've always wondered: what is it like to live free? Not in the concrete ring surrounding you, that doesn't allow you to forget about your presence, because wherever you are, it is always there, as if grinning at your helplessness. "You will never get out of here, because if you do, you will regret it." It  pressure you with all its weight, not allowing you to breathe deeply. I wonder what it's like not to feel that weight. To be free.</p><p>I guess, I'll never know. As they say, these walls have stood for 100 years and will always stand. Nobody knows how it came from, where it came from, who installed it, but people pray to it like to gods, believing that they will save them from any misfortunes. I don't know how true this is, but they have done just fine on one mission so far. Protection from titans.</p><p>These terrible monsters. Huge, strong and voracious. They kill us in hundreds, thousands, but they will never have enough.</p><p>I've never seen them, but there are enough stories for me to understand that without these walls we would all be dead long ago. And we cannot protect ourselves with anything except these walls. 50 meters high, so no titans can overcome this "concrete fence", no matter how much they wants. It seems to me that even birds don't fly that high, and titans too. Unless they learn to fly, then we will definitely die out.</p><p>Seeing these walls every day, I wonder if they are really as inaccessible as people talk? Could it be that someday, on a sunny and calm day, like today, for example, a titan will come, which will be 80 meters high, and simply step over this wall? I've been asking this question for 16 years, but I can't find the answer. Because there is no any answer. Nobody can guarantee us complete safeplace. It's scaring me when I think about it, but nothing else remains. We just have to put up with it, as with the fact that winter is coming, no matter how much we want summer. We are weak and unusefull. And it just pisses me off.</p><p>Children laugh and shout around the corner. Three guys, younger than me, two boys and a girl, run out to meet me. The leader of this mini-group is apparently a green-eyed boy with brown hair. He runs ahead of the others, jumping up and sometimes turning to his companions, inciting them to run faster. Those, try to stop him, but it seems like their attempts turn out to be a complete failure, this vortex in the boy's body will only be stopped by the end of the world, and it will succeed on the tenth attempt.</p><p>The guys run past, and a cloud of dust the size of a two-story house rises aftre them. I cough, waving my hand, trying to ward off the dust from myself, and at the same time trying not to spill a bucket of water. Somehow I don't want to go back to the well and spend another half an hour. When the cloud more or less dissipates, I take the bucket more comfortably and want to take a step, but I don't have time.</p><p>Flare. As powerful as I haven't seen even in the worst hurricane. For a few seconds I can't see anything around me, only a bright light that hurts my eyes. Gusts of wind hit right in the face. I cover it with my hands, and a bucket of water falls to the ground. It rings in my ears, nothing is heard except the roar of the wind. Just a little bit more and it will just blow me away.</p><p>And then hell begins. A crash as if a heavenly god had struck the earth with his hammer and split it in two. I am thrown into the air by the force of the blow, I scream, but I don't hear my scream. Then I fall and land on my back, I feel the bones crunch. There is noise in the head, and sparks in the eyes. I think I hit my head. For a couple of seconds I just lie on my back, trying to come to my senses, but this is given to me with great difficulty. Still, somehow on the third attempt I get up on shaking legs. With great effort I raise my head and see that it wasnt a heavenly god. This is titan. A huge, no, colossal titan with blood-red skin, or maybe it's not skin, but only muscles. Waves of steam emanate from him, and the air around him sparkles, even I can see it from this distance. For a couple of seconds I just look at him, I can't to turn away or even move. It was as if I was hypnotized, tied to the ground. I had never seen a titan before, and I hoped never to. The prospect of dying in ignorance was completely fine with me, but here he is, in front of me, as if looking straight at me. After a moment he is no longer there, as if he never existed. Only clouds of steam and sparks, but the titan itself was gone. It brings me out of trance. Is this possible? Where did he go? Such a huge titan could'nt just take and evaporate in the air.</p><p>Everybody screams, children and women are crying. Chaos begins all around. Someone screams: "Titans!" Titans? How did they get inside? After all, the wall is 50 meters high! But after a moment, I understand. This crash. It was a wall. It was broken through.</p><p>People run past me, pushing and screaming in fear, as long as they are away from here, away from the titans who are so close now. I can see five titans heading straight towards us, arms outstretched like children trying to reach for their favorite toys. The titan on the left steps on the woman, and I see how the blood flies in different directions, together with the limbs and body parts of the poor fellows who didn't have time to escape. The air smells of pain and fear, despair and death.</p><p>I, as if waking up, start to run. I don't know where, I just run and run, not making out the road, not seeing anything or anyone. Time seems to have slowed down, my head is still buzzing from hitting the ground, but I ignore all this and just keep running, gasping, stumbling, but running. After a while, I understand where. Home. Parents. I start to run even faster, but I understand that I can't. Praise the gods, the house was not far away. I open the door, come inside and run up to the second floor. There is only one thought in my head: "If only I could, please, if only not too late!"</p><p>"Mum! Dad! Where are you?!"</p><p>I quickly look around the room and breathe a sigh of relief. They are here. Alive. Mom is standing at the table, in her hand is a sheet of paper and she furiously draws something on it. Tears run down her face, she simultaneously wipes them off with her sleeve, but cannot wipe everything off, and they drip onto the paper. Dad  is looking for something in the chest, throwing out clothes, shoes and other trinkets, for the damage of which mother would normally kill him.</p><p>I run up to my mother and shake her shoulder:</p><p>"Mom, dad! What the hell are you doing ?! We have to go, the titans have burst into the city, the wall has been destroyed! Please, let's go!"</p><p>But my mother doesn't seem to hear me, continuing to write something under her breath. I look at her and cannot believe my eyes. What the hell is going on? The titans are in the city, we are can be killed, and they are doing something incomprehensible. I swear and run to my dad, fall on my knees next to him and try to tear him away from this damn chest.</p><p>"Daddy, please, they can kill us! Please, we need to run! Dad!"</p><p>Dad turns to me abruptly, looks at me for a few seconds, and then shouts to mom:</p><p>"Reya, faster, damn God, faster!"</p><p>Mom sniffs, wipes her nose with the back of her hand, and in one motion, sharply shoves a sheet of paper into an envelope. He turns and walks towards us. Mom and Dad exchange glances and nod to each other. Dad takes me by the shoulders and pulls me to my feet. I am shaking like a fever, my legs don't obey, and something hot is flowing down my cheeks. I don't remember when I started crying. They both look at me as if this is the last time, as if they will not see me again.</p><p>"Mom… dad… please," I try again, my voice trembling like my legs.</p><p>"Anna, listen to me very carefully," dad begins, he takes my hands in his, and mom touches my cheek with her palm, wiping away tears along the way, "everything gonna be fine, I promise you, but you have to do something for me and mom ... Okay?</p><p>I don't understand anything. Why don't we run away? Why are we standing here and wasting precious time? Do they want to be devoured by the titans?</p><p>A scream is heard outside the window, we turn around and see how the neighboring house shatters into pieces. A huge hand reaches out and grabs the man. He tries to escape, punches and kicks, but everything is useless. He is raised and in a second we hear another scream and the man's leg falls to the ground.</p><p>I stand wide-eyed, paralyzed by fear. It can't be true. This is all just a nightmare. Only a nightmare. I will wake up and everything will be fine. Mom will wake me up and invite me to breakfast. I'll ask for another five minutes, but it's useless to ask my mother for something, so with a heavy sigh I'll get up and start getting dressed. Dad will meet me downstairs. We will all sit down at the table and start eating. I will listen to my parents argue, give a couple of jokes, and everyone will laugh. Everything will be calm. No titans, no screams, no blood.</p><p>Dad's cry brought me out of my stupor. I look at him and understand that he has been calling me for quite some time. Mom is still wiping away my tears, while she cries herself. I can't take it anymore.</p><p>"Anna, - This time the mother says first, - you have to find one person. His name is Erwin Smith - he is the commander of the Covey Legion. Okay? I nod. - Find him, find him in every possible way and give him this letter."</p><p>I pick up the same envelope in which my mother put this letter. Now I know it was a letter. I look at this and don't understand how this will help us to be saved. I look at my mother again. She looks at her dad again, opens her mouth to say something, but at that moment the roof of our house disappears. I look up and see two titans. Their smiles will be my nightmares for all of my life. If I, of course, survive. One leans over to grab me, but Mom pushes me against the wall. I hit my back, scream. I look up and watch the titanium bring my mom to his mouth. She looks at me for the last time, tears still flowing down her face, and whispers: "I love you."</p><p>I scream. I scream to such an extent that I cannot hear myself. My throat hurts, but I still scream. I rush forward at this titan, ready to rip him open with my bare hands, but dad knocks me down. I fall and stare at him. He sits down next to me, kisses my forehead.</p><p>"I love you more than anything else. And mom loves you too. Please, Anna, do what I ask you to do. Please run."</p><p>I can't believe what he is saying. How can he ask for this? After mom was eaten. After all. How dare he? I won't give it up for anything!</p><p>"No! I won't leave you, no!"</p><p>He looks back and sees that the second titan is approaching us. Time is running out. My father looks at me again and whispers:</p><p>"Please do it for us. For me and for your mother. You have to survive, you have to find Erwin, then we will be calm. Then our deaths will not be in vain. Anna, please."</p><p>I sob and hug him. My whole body is trembling with spasms, my face is completely wet with tears. I still don't know how I decided on the next step. I pull back and say:</p><p>"I love you, daddy."</p><p>Dad smiles, wipes my cheeks and says for the last time:</p><p>"I love you too, my little girl."</p><p>I break down and run out of the house without looking. Wheezes erupt from my throat, tears blur my eyes, and I hardly see where I'm running. I act on almost pure instinct. My whole body hurts, it seems that at any second I will just collapse to the ground and never get up. But the last words of the parents make me run on. Soon I realize that I have made it to the gate. Ahead I see a dock and a huge ship. A huge crowd crowded around the ship, people stretch their hands, push, kick, everyone tries to get to it, because this is the last hope, the last defense against a terrible painful death. There is such a noise all around that I can't even hear my thoughts. The screams of men, abuse, women cry and beg to take at least children, and they, in turn, scream even louder. There is complete chaos around.</p><p>Suddenly they pick me up in their arms, and I sharply turn my head to see who it is. On my shoulder I see a sign: two roses. So this is the Guild, they will help me. Then everything happens as in a dream. I am too weak and too worn out. There is no more strength left, I am trying with the last strength to stay conscious. I understand that I am being handed over to someone and I see that I am already on the ship, where hundreds more people are sitting. Someone is angry, someone is in despair, and someone is simply silent and looks at one point.</p><p>I look forward to all this hell and here, amid screams and desperate crying, I hear something else. Something subtle, very quiet, which gradually gets louder and clearer. I frown, I don't understand what it could be. As if the earth is shaking. As if it were someone's steps.</p><p>Less than three seconds later, someone shouts: "Titan! He's approaching the wall! Close the gate! " I look ahead and see the gate slowly begin to slide down. Panic engulfs the crowd as people push forward with an effort with a desperation I've never seen before, but I can't blame them. Someone tries to jump on the ship, but falls into the water. Desperate, heartbreaking screams grow louder. The crush begins. Some just fall and are covered with a wave of people. I look at it all, my lips frozen in a silent scream. How can all this be true?</p><p>The footsteps are getting louder, as are the screams that seem to have reached their maximum. I close my eyes and ears forcibly, trying to hide from all this nightmare. The tears start flowing again, and I don't even try to wipe them away, I just pray that it all stops. It is unbearable.</p><p>I hear a loud crash, similar to the one that was before when that huge titanium appeared. I open my eyes and I can't believe what I see. Titanium, but not like the rest. It looks like it's all made of stone. He broke the gate, just knocked it down. How? Why?</p><p>I can't move, I'm paralyzed. I just look at this titan, at the broken wall, at the people who are there trying to save their lives, but I understand that it is useless. Now nothing can save them. There are no more ships, this was the last one, and the wall was broken. Nothing will help them.</p><p>I can feel the ship begin to move, but I don't care anymore. I don't hear or see anything around, everything seems to be in a fog. I don't react when someone touches my shoulder. They seem to ask if I'm okay, but I don't have the strength to answer them.</p><p>It really happened, what we were so afraid of. Worst nightmare ever. Wall Maria is destroyed. The end has come to humanity. I realize that my eyes are starting to close and I can feel the tears continue to flow down my cheeks. And in my head I can only hear the words of my dad:</p><p>"Erwin Smith".</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Julia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure</p><p>Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours</p><p>Taylor Swift - Look what you made me do.<br/>***<br/>POV Julia</p><p>My name is Julia Hofmann. I was born in Stohess, outside the Wall of Sina, to a wealthy and influential family. But I never shared the views of my heartless parents.  "Some people are born to die protecting people like us, and some are born of us, it's easy." This I often hear from my father.</p><p>Until now, I cannot understand anything. Why do some people die painful deaths outside the walls, protecting us, while we warm ourselves by the fireplace, drink tea and not worry about anything? it is not right.</p><p>Every day is similar to the previous one: the servant wakes me up, I wash, go downstairs, have breakfast with my parents in silence, they are not at all interested in my life or the fact that I suffer from panic attacks every day. Although I did not tell anyone about it. All this time I have been doing it myself. After breakfast, I also silently returned to my room and sat there until evening. Only my books save me, this is one of the things that I love so much about this empty and lifeless house. Sometimes I really feel like I'm just going crazy, like I'm stuck repeating the same day.</p><p>Maybe you think I want too much or too spoiled? May be. But I was unbearable from the life I live. I so wanted something new, some excitement, adventure.</p><p>I tried to make friends with the guys from my environment. Many of them were even good, but as soon as I approached them, open up to them, tell about my real thoughts and feelings, they immediately said that I was strange. This was where our communication usually ended. I tried over and over, but the result was the same every time. But still, there were a couple of people with whom I was connected by this delicate fragile connection, somewhat reminiscent of friendship. I tried to do everything so as not to lose at least them.</p><p>Everything: where I live, with whom I live and how I live - is alien to me. It was as if I was born in the wrong place and as long as I can remember, I wanted to leave here. Or rather, to run away, because my parents would never voluntarily let me go.</p><p>The scouts, people whom I admired and still admire. their life can end at any moment in the most terrible way, but they do at least something for humanity, for its freedom. It never gave me rest. Freedom ... How much this word means to me. All my conscious age I feel like a bird locked in a golden cage. Everything could have continued this way until that day came, that very point of no return in my life.</p><p>***</p><p>This morning was quiet. The people in the streets did not shout, and the merchants did not argue with each other. Looking out the window, I did not see the noisy people so common and typical for these streets. Everything seemed to stand still. And it scared me. People walked and quietly whispered among themselves, as if they were afraid that their conversation would be heard.</p><p>Closing the book I had read earlier, I went downstairs and went to my parents, hoping to find out the answer from them. Maybe they know what happened.</p><p>Walking into the living room, I found them sitting at the table. My heart sank for a moment, foreshadowing something bad. I've never seen them like this. Dad looked very tense, frowning, he was looking somewhere at the wall or past it. Mom sat with her face in her hands. Strands of her brown hair are messy out of her hair. It was so unlike her. And ... she was crying?</p><p>My father and I are extraordinarily similar. Literally, like two drops of water, what a pity that only outwardly. His face was darker than usual now. Pursing his lips angrily, he propped his chin with one hand and tapped the table with the other. It seemed that nails were being hammered into my head.</p><p>"Dad? Mama? What happened? Why are the streets so quiet? And why are you crying?"  I asked, secretly afraid of getting an answer, looking first at my father, then at my mother.</p><p>My parents turned to me, as if they had just discovered that they had a daughter. Dad pursed his lips and looked at me with displeasure:</p><p>"Julia, go to your room and knock when you want to enter. Where are your manners? You're not some Shiganshina bumpkin"  Father said severely, not taking his black eyes off me.</p><p>"Why should I knock at my own house? And I am waiting for an answer to my question"  I began to be annoyed by their attitude towards me. After all, I am no longer a child. I understood one thing that had happened, something terrible, since my always indifferent father was so excited. And for some reason they did not want to share this information with me.</p><p>Mom finally deigned to look up at me, red and tear-stained. Tears rolled down her cheeks one by one. Her whole face was twisted in some kind of incomprehensible grimace, which I could not understand. My mom was a drama queen. Perhaps it was so now.</p><p>"Don't talk to your father like that, Julia."</p><p>I expected to hear more, but they were silent. Silence fell again in the living room. I could feel the anger begin to spread through my body.</p><p>"Why are you silent ?!"  I can't stand it when my parents ignore me again. "Why am I like an empty place in this house?!"</p><p>"Language, young lady." Mama said coldly, already wiping her tears with a handkerchief, glaring at me."</p><p>I couldn't answer anything. My mouth opened in an impulse to say something nasty to them, but I didn't know what it was.</p><p>I flew out of the living room. Parents, as usual, do not tell me anything. Then I decided to ask Miss Hight, our housekeeper, about everything. Although I didn't want to talk to her at all. This person pushed me away with her constant tight smile and her eternally happy appearance. To be honest, she looks like a cheap prostitute, but that's not the point right now.</p><p>I found Sarah in the kitchen. She stood with her back to me, nervously sorting through some products in the basket.</p><p>"Sarah?" The maid shuddered and turned around. " What happened in the city? Why is everyone so excited?"</p><p>"Oh, Miss Hofmann, do you know?"  She was surprised, while smiling. Her smile was like a grin.</p><p>"If I knew, I would not ask you." I crossed my arms over my chest, looking at her expectantly. Sometimes her dullness just made me want to go out the nearest window.</p><p>"It's awful," Sarah began. "Wall Maria was… destroyed today…" her voice cracked.  "This is such a nightmare!"</p><p>The maid lowered her head in despair. I froze in a kind of numbness and misunderstanding.</p><p>"How… destroyed? This is some kind of joke, Sarah, isn't it?"</p><p>"I would like it to be just a joke," the servant approached me, "can you imagine what will happen now? It's just awful! Now the people from Shiganshina can come here, they will have to give away some of our supplies!"</p><p>Her words struck me outright. I expected any incoherent stupidity from her, but not something like that. But what? What the fuck did she just say? Didn't I hear?</p><p>"You are completely stupid, eh? Do you live bad here? You eat meat every day and wash it down with expensive wine, sleep in a soft bed, and even with my father! You are not afraid to die from the fact that the only thing that protected you from the titans will be destroyed! You are a worthless, selfish creature!"</p><p>When I mentioned my father, Sarah's face turned white with horror. She stared at me like a child caught stealing sweets.</p><p>"Yes, I know everything! And you don't have to tell me anything. I won't listen to you anyway."</p><p>I could tell her a lot more good things, but Sarah was not the main problem now. I gave her one last look and quickly left the kitchen. Having risen to my room, I now knew one thing for sure: it was time to leave, and as soon as possible. Collect everything you need and leave Stohess. Now or never. I won't get that chance again. The Survey Corps will now need new soldiers more than ever. Now is the right time, next time I won't dare. This is the only chance to take a step towards your dream. I took out my bag and left the most comfortable clothes and shoes, took all the money I had saved, when suddenly the door to my room swings open. I turn around. An angry father is standing on the threshold, and behind him, behind him, Sarah squeezes, wiping her tears with her hand.</p><p>Here is a bitch, she complained!</p><p>I reflexively kicked the bag under the bed and made the most relaxed expression on my face.</p><p>"Now explain yourself, Julia! What it is? Why are you bringing the servants to tears?" He stood like a rock in the passage and looked at me like a bull on a red towel. It seemed like one wrong step, and I'm finished.</p><p>I stared at my father, tilting my head to the side. A satisfied smile spread involuntarily across my face. It was funny for me to watch how my father defends this little girl.</p><p>"I didn't say anything funny, Julia," my father continued, "and you didn't answer my question."</p><p>"Just as you didn't answer my question, father."</p><p>I saw my father's veins on his forehead protrude more and more with anger, and his eyes were ready to just burst at any moment.</p><p>"I know what's the matter, dad, and I know what you are so afraid of and why now you cannot find a place for yourself," I looked at my father with a challenge. Soon, Mom came to our debate with Dad. She looked blankly at everything that was happening, "you sit outside the walls. You have money. Right now, in Shiganshina, innocent people are dying, simply because they do not have this money! Children like me or even younger die, and thousands more become orphans. Tens of thousands of people were left homeless, and just as many soldiers are now dying to protect them. Doesn't it bother you? Have you done anything to help them? At least financially? Or has money already completely filled your mind?"  I took a breath and continued. I understood that there was no turning back.</p><p>"You… you're just disgusting! You are the worst thing that has happened to humanity, not titans, but such deceitful and greedy people as you."</p><p>But I could not finish, as I felt the blow. My cheek burned badly, and my head tilted to the side:</p><p>"You stupid girl! We fed and raised you for 15 years, and this is what we get in return? We are noble people! And you are an selfish!"</p><p>Father's eyes blazed with rage. He really hit me. I still couldn't believe it.</p><p>"Only such selfish people could have such a selfish child," I quipped. I should have shut up so as not to aggravate the situation further, but I could not. Emotions got the better of me. "And since you are so noble, go to Shiganshina now and give away some of your supplies. There is not enough food for everyone, it might help!</p><p>There was silence in the room. All were silent.</p><p>"So I thought ... Of course, you won't. You are too greedy." All this time my mother stood and looked at me as the worst person in this world. Great.</p><p>"Julia, you… you…" my father almost choked with anger, looking at me. He understood that I was telling the truth, but he would never admit it to himself. I'm sorry, father.</p><p>Furious, he quickly left, slamming the door to my room behind him with all his dope. I shuddered. I felt tears coming, that I was ready to burst into tears at any moment. Bursting into tears that my parents are so ... disgusting. There was always a small hope in my soul that everything was not so bad and hopeless that I was just winding myself up. On this day, this little hope simply died.</p><p>***</p><p>The night was cold and moonless. I went further and further away from home. Many times I looked back, doubting if I had made the right decision. I hoped that my parents would understand that they were wrong and run after me. Will try to get me back. But each time she pulled herself together: "Go, go, just don't turn around."</p><p>I have a long way to go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Older brother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm a survivor</p><p>I'm not gon' give up</p><p>I'm not gon' stop</p><p>I'm gon' work harder</p><p> </p><p>2WEI — Survivor</p><p>***</p><p>"We have only two horses. You will have to ride with me."</p><p>Levi, holding his horse by the bridle, turned and looked at the girl. Sina stood with her head down, afraid to even look at the man in front of her. She could not even think that she would ever find herself in such a situation. She is very glad that she found her brother, but on the other hand, it scared her madly, because even her own father did not care what became of her. Why does a person who does not even know her and sees her for the first time in her life care about some lonely, poor girl? She couldn't understand it.</p><p>But nevertheless, she is here, will soon rise upstairs with her new family. Family. The word was new to her, but unexpectedly pleasant. It's like being drunk with hot tea after spending many hours in the cold. To say that the girl was worried would be a big understatement. What if Levi changes his mind and just kicks her out somewhere along the way? Or will he be even worse than Kenny? Sina shook her head, decisively driving away bad thoughts. If he was bad or wanted to get rid of her, he and Erwin would just leave her on the road. The girl raised her head and her eyes met the gray piercing eyes, from which she shuddered. She needs time to get used to it.</p><p>"It's okay."</p><p>Levi just nodded and left the girl alone and headed towards Erwin. Sina watched him go and sighed. What will happen to her next? She couldn't even imagine. Will she live with Levi? Or will he give it to someone else? There were a thousand thoughts and a thousand possibilities in her head, most of which were not very pleasant.</p><p>The cold and wet touch on her hand brought the girl out of her thoughts. Turning her head, she saw a huge black muzzle, which buried in her forearm. Sina had seen horses that occasionally passed through the streets of the Underground City before, but it was such a rare sight that she never had the opportunity to get a closer look. The horse was sniffing something with interest on its arm, and then raised its head and huge, jet-black eyes stared at it. It was a mesmerizing sight. In the twilight, they shone with some mysterious brilliance, so large and bottomless that the girl thought she might drown in them. Then the horse snorted loudly and the girl jumped back, her heart pounding, her ears ringing. "Will she bite me now? Or will he kick? " But the animal just stood there and shook its head from time to time, snorting in displeasure. After making sure that the horse had no evil intentions, Sina took small steps closer, trying not to frighten or anger the horse. the horse again buried its muzzle on the girl's shoulder and began to sniff it vigorously. The girl giggled, and, plucking up courage, slowly raised her hand and, touching the mane, involuntarily gasped. It was incredibly thick and soft. Sina ran her fingers through her black hair, enjoying the smoothness of her hair and watching it fall in waves around her neck. "Grace and sophistication" - these are the words that came to the girl's head, looking at this beautiful animal. Sina thought this horse was very suitable for Levi. Black as a crow, dangerous, but at the same time bewitching.</p><p>"She liked you. She doesn't let anyone near her, except me."</p><p>In surprise, the girl shuddered and abruptly tore her hand from the horse's mane, as if burned. Turning around, she saw Levi standing behind, arms crossed over his chest. On his face there was a usual cold, impenetrable mask, by which it was absolutely impossible to understand what he was thinking. The girl lowered her head and closed her eyes tightly, not daring to even move in fear. When she spoke, her voice trembled.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean ... I j-just ..."</p><p>"It's okay."</p><p>Sina opened her eyes and looked uncertainly at the captain. The man walked past her, walked over to the horse and stroking her face, turned to the girl.</p><p>"Have you ever ridden a horse?"</p><p>Sina shook her head. The girl shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, not knowing what else to say in this situation. Levi turned back to the horse and, making sure everything was secured correctly, said:</p><p>"Come here."</p><p>The girl, swallowing nervously, came closer to the captain. The man extended his hand forward and looked at her.</p><p>"Place your left foot on the stirrup, and then, leaning on it, throw your right over the horse's back. Hold on to my palm with one hand and the bridle with the other. Take your time, we don't need extra injuries."</p><p>Sina nodded and, taking a deep breath, put her right hand in the captain's hand, felt strong fingers grip her own tightly, and put the other on the bridle, as he said. Then she looked down at the stirrup, which was hanging quite high above the ground. The girl looked uncertainly at Levi. After all, she is quite short, if not small. The man just nodded back. The girl turned away from him and, lowering her eyes to her target, slowly put her foot in the stirrup. It was terribly uncomfortable, but she only gripped Levi's hand and bridle tighter, mentally she counted to three and pushed off, throwing her other leg over the horse's broad back. The girl's hands were shaking, she herself did not understand when she managed to let go of her right hand and grab the mane with it. Sina looked around her, and making sure that she was confidently sitting in the saddle, smiled triumphantly, looking at Levi. He gave her his usual look, in which Sina, it seemed to her, caught a glimpse of something that resembled pride in a split second, and then lowered his head and said:</p><p>"Not bad."</p><p>The girl turned away, still smiling broadly, and stroked the horse's neck. This small success gave her strength and confidence. Sina did not even notice how Levi climbed onto the horse, and turned sharply when strong arms surrounded her, and a firm strong chest pressed against her back. The girl gazed fearfully at the captain, and he, taking the bridle in his hands, looked Sina in the eyes for the last time, as if asking if she was ready. The girl turned away and looked ahead. Erwin was also sitting on the horse and, casting a quick glance at them, hit the horse on the sides, and it, with a displeased snort, began to move.</p><p>"Where are we going?"</p><p>Levi, tightening his grip on the bridle and following Erwin's example, "ts"ing, and they hurried after the commander. Sina pressed herself into Levi in dismay, her hands holding onto the horse's black hair. The man behind, sensing that the girl was beginning to tremble and unconsciously cuddle up to him, allowed her to pull herself closer.</p><p>"As far away from here as possible."</p><p>***</p><p>They had been driving for a couple of hours. The sun was at its zenith, a clear blue sky without a single cloud, so the heat was unbearable, only the cool breeze made the situation a little easier. They rode in complete silence, disturbed only by the singing of birds and the sound of hooves. For Levi, this was a common thing, he was used to driving for hours, sometimes even days, almost without stopping, but for the girl who was sitting in the saddle in front of him, it was hard. The man could see that she was exhausted, even though they had stopped about an hour ago to water the horses. The girl tried to pretend that everything was in order, but it was evident that she was trying with the last bit of strength to keep her eyes open. Her head from time to time bent forward, but then returned to its place again, and her hands held the bridle less and less confidently.</p><p>During the whole trip they did not say a word. Sina surveyed the surroundings with enthusiastic interest, while Levi watched her askance. Daughter of Kenny Ackerman. He never thought a bastard like Kenny could have kids. But it turns out that everything happens in life. She was not like him, by the way, not at all. Petite, even shorter than Levy by almost half a head, a skinny body with protruding bones - skin stretched over the skeleton, yet the years of starvation did not pass without consequences. Pale skin that gives off a sickly green color due to lack of sunlight. The honey-colored hair, which is now dull, is all matted and braided in some wretched semblance of pigtails. Long bangs that almost completely cover light green eyes. No, thought Levy, absolutely nothing in common.</p><p>The man did not know at all what to do next. He never had brothers and sisters, and he had no idea how to deal with them. Yes, he had Farlan and Isabelle, but that's a different story. A painful story that I didn't want to remember at all. But this small, pathetic-looking girl reminded him more of Isabelle. With her brightly glowing eyes when she first saw the world outside the Underground City. With her tenacity and perseverance, when, even in spite of wild fatigue, she still continues to pretend that she can move mountains. With her childish curiosity and thirst to learn as much as possible, even if she is afraid to ask questions, but from her movements - how she tilts her head to one side, or how she stretches in the saddle to better look at something in the distance - you can see her desire to know this world.</p><p>Levi becomes almost physically hurt by this resemblance. It's like starting to dig again in a wound that has not yet fully healed, or it may not heal at all and will always bleed, no matter how hard you try to heal it. Is he willing to take the risk again? Make a choice that you can later regret? He knew perfectly well that he was not ready yet. Too little time has passed, and this world is too cruel. But looking at her, at this child, "her sister," he reminded himself, he knew that he could not leave her, throw her out into the street.</p><p>Levi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The choice has been made. Will he regret it, only time will tell. He can only hope. The man only closed his arms tighter around her thin, thin arms.</p><p>Before them, Erwin turned around and, looking at Levi, said:</p><p>"We are almost there."</p><p>Levi nodded curtly in response. The captain did not even notice how they entered the forest, so lost in their thoughts. In the distance, you could already see the outline of the castle and towers, which stretched high into the sky above the trees. A little more and they will be at home.</p><p>***</p><p>A rough voice from behind brought the girl out of her sleep.</p><p>"We've arrived, wake up."</p><p>She shuddered and lifted her head sharply. Everything was like a fog, so Sina had to shake her head a couple of times to get the veil off her eyes. The girl felt the support disappeared behind her, and after a couple of seconds Levi was already standing to her left on the ground, extending his hand. Sina did not tempt fate, but simply took the offered hand and tried to get off the horse as carefully as possible so as not to plow the ground with her nose. Her legs and arms were shaking shamelessly out of habit, and the fifth point was numb from the long drive. The girl thought that now she would not sit on a horse for a very long time, or maybe she would not sit anywhere at all, even on an ordinary chair. Having touched the ground, the legs buckled, and the girl would have simply collapsed if it had not been for a strong grip on her arm. Making sure that she was more or less firmly on her feet, Sina straightened and looked at Levi.</p><p>"Th-thanks."</p><p>The captain simply looked at her for several long seconds, and the girl under his gaze felt uncomfortable. "Is that his habit?" Then he looked her straight in the eyes and asked:</p><p>"Can you go on your own?"</p><p>Sina nodded quickly in response. The girl didn't want to cause any more trouble. There was still not enough to be carried. She already caused a lot of inconvenience, first on the street with a bread merchant, and then - with horses, because she had to ride the same horse with Levi, for sure it was not very pleasant for him. Although, they themselves took her with them. She didn't ask for it. In any case, she can walk on her own, without help.</p><p>"Then let's go."</p><p>Levi took the horse by the bridle and followed Erwin. Only now was the girl able to properly consider where they arrived. She raised her head and gasped. It was a castle, a real royal castle, with many sharp towers that rose high into the sky, small carved windows and massive thick walls that seem to withstand any siege. That was incredible. The girl had never seen anything like it in her life, even in pictures. At this moment, she felt like a princess, who was brought to a fairytale castle, designed especially for her. "I wonder if the king ever lived here?" - Sina thought to herself. Levi's voice returned the girl from her thoughts.</p><p>"Are you going or are you planning to stay here all night?"</p><p>With a last glance at this splendor, Sina hurried after the captain.</p><p>***</p><p>After many corridors and stairs, they came to the door, which, presumably, was hers. Levi slowly took the key from his pocket and inserted it into the lock. The room was very comfortable: there was a fireplace on the side, in the corner there was a seemingly very soft maroon armchair, next to it was a tall lamp. Walking a little deeper into the room, Sina saw a writing desk near a large window, and opposite the fireplace, a small bed, to the right of which was an oak cabinet.</p><p>She had never had such a room. All that was in her old house was a rough wooden table and a couple of similar chairs. There was not even a bed, only a bed of straw, on which she spread an old, leaky woolen blanket, which smelled of damp and musty through and through. But it's like a dream. Very realistic, long dream. And if she really sleeps, then Sina wants to stay here forever.</p><p>The girl slowly turned her gaze to Levi, afraid to even move once again, because the illusion would dissipate and she would wake up in her cold lonely house, frozen, hungry and broken.</p><p>"This is my room?"</p><p>Her voice was so low that she's not even sure if the man heard her. But he walked closer to her and nodded. The girl turned away, afraid that she would cry. It can't be. Too good to be true. After everything that had happened to her, after everything that she had experienced, she did not even hope to survive. But here she is, standing in the center of her new room, with the person to whom she owes everything. "With my brother." For the first time, Sina allowed herself to think of him as a brother. And it was an indescribable feeling of calmness and warmth. Feeling of happiness. She was so happy for the first time in her life. She wanted to scream, cry, laugh. She wanted to throw herself on his neck and thank him endlessly for everything he had done for her.</p><p>"You need to put yourself in order and rest. When you are ready, go downstairs, they will feed you there, and then you can sleep. You will find clean clothes in the closet. If you need anything, no matter what, you come to me and I solve your problems, okay? My room is on the left along the corridor."</p><p>Levi turned to leave, but then he was grabbed by the sleeve and pulled lightly. The man turned his head and looked inquiringly at the girl. Sina lowered her eyes to the floor, the palm that was holding Levi's sleeve trembled, and the other nervously fiddled with her skirt. Finally the girl looked up at the captain.</p><p>"Thank you. For all."</p><p>His gaze softened and he just nodded and then left the room. Sina was left alone, but she did not feel lonely. For the first time in a long time, she felt extraordinary lightness, as if a huge weight had fallen from her shoulders. The girl smiled. She's not alone at last.</p><p>She has a family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. They are found the middle of the chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>But if you lead I'll follow</p><p>A thousand miles away</p><p> </p><p>Starset — Satellite</p><p>***</p><p>Sina had a dream. She saw mom. She was incredibly beautiful, in a lovely dress and a basket of freshly baked buns, and she glowed with happiness. Her father stood next to her, he did not look like the person she knew. He gently hugged his mother and smiled at his daughter. Levi was sitting at the table next to the girl. His usual mask of indifference was gone and he looked so calm and happy. This is the life that Seena has always dreamed of.</p><p>But loud voices and strong stamping tore her out of this dream. She rubbed her sleepy eyes in displeasure and stared at the door. "Why is there such noise?" She thought her head was going to explode. The girl quickly got out of bed, put on new clean clothes and combed her unruly light blond hair. Approaching the mirror, Sina stared at the reflection for a second. She was very small, only one and a half meters tall, with bright green eyes. Sina took a deep breath. She didn't look like Kenny or Levi at all, but sometimes the girl was pleased to think that maybe she looked like her mother. Sina's heart ached. It was always like that when she thought of her mother. She threw away all sad thoughts, and began to head towards the door. But before she had time to reach for the handle, it suddenly opened.</p><p>With a frightened cry, Sina grabbed her heart and looked at the man who nearly caused her heart attack. Levi stood in the doorway, deadly calm as always, and his cold gaze rested on the frightened girl.</p><p>"Come with me." That's all he said.</p><p>"Wait, Levi, what happened? Can I help you with something?" Sina wanted to be useful in some way. She's not going to be a burden.</p><p>The captain stopped abruptly and seemed to think about something for a second.</p><p>"Wall Maria was broken, now I need to be there and prevent as many senseless deaths as possible" - Sina froze. "Is it possible? God, how many people will die today." She involuntarily began to pray for all those people in the city, although she realized that it was useless and her prayers would go unheard. And if she loses in this battle and Levi? She just found a real family and now can lose it again.</p><p>She fiddled nervously with the end of her shirt, unsure of what to say or do. He is the Captain of the Elite Squad and the Strongest Warrior of Humanity, he could not just sit here and wait for everything to end.</p><p>"What should I do?" She asked confidently, and secretly was proud that her voice did not falter.</p><p>Levi nodded in satisfaction.</p><p>"I will take you to a safe place, and you will sit there and wait for me to return for you. Don't you dare be heroic and try to help. The best thing you can do right now is not to make me worry about your safety. Got it?"  Having said that, he turned to the door and began to leave without waiting for an answer. "Come on."</p><p>Sina obediently followed him. There was complete chaos in the corridors, everyone was running somewhere, and the girl had to try not to lose sight of Levi or accidentally fly into a stone wall. They went down the steep staircase, and as she turned into the hallway, she felt a strong jolt in her shoulder. The girl could not stand on her feet and fell to the floor. The culprit of her fall stopped abruptly and glared at the girl:</p><p>"Watch your step. And what are you doing here, you're not even a soldier, you just get in the way under my way." - After these words, he grabbed her by the collar and hit her hard against the wall. Sina screamed, her head hitting the stone slab soundly. But after a second, the girl felt the grip on her jacket loosened and then completely disappeared. Now the soldier took her place, but only in the place of the offender was Levi. Despite his short stature, he lifted the guy quite high and did it with incredible ease, as if he weighed nothing.</p><p>"You are a soldier of the Survey Corps. Your task is to kill titans, not to ask questions, do I explain it clearly?" - The poor guy's face became so pale that Sina compared it to the color of Levi's frill.</p><p>"Yes, Captain Levi" - he put the soldier on his feet and was about to leave when Levi stopped him:</p><p>"Hey. Apologize to her."  His voice was hard, oozing power and strength. Sina thought that only with his voice he could bring people to their knees.</p><p>The guy's eyes darted nervously down the hallway until they settled on Sina. She felt a little uncomfortable, he stared so intently. The girl swore that his eyes widened in shock. But at the same moment, he pulled himself together and bowed to Sina:</p><p>"I apologize for my behavior." The girl became even more embarrassed, and her face flushed treacherously.</p><p>"All is well. I am also to blame, I had to watch where I was going." quickly rattled the girl and turned away from the soldier. She was not used to such attention and did not like it. Noticing this, Levi waved his hand to him, saying: "Go."</p><p>Saluting the captain, the soldier covered himself on the stairs. Sina sighed. Goosebumps ran down her skin, she felt strange. As if she had no control over her emotions. Levi had incredible power over people, and this made the girl admire him even more. "Perhaps one day I will become like him." Grabbing Sina's hand to keep her up, they walked on. The girl barely kept up with her brother, but, pursing her lips, only moved her legs faster.</p><p>***</p><p>Twenty minutes later they reached a safe place that looked like a dungeon. The girl shivered, either from fear, or from the cold, or maybe from both, but, gathering all her strength and courage, she entered the dark room.</p><p>The walls were stone and inspired the girl's confidence, several candles stood in the corners, slightly illuminating the room and casting long, crooked shadows on the floor and walls, which gave goosebumps and hair standing on end. The room was filled with people, all of them were scared, some were in despair, and some looked in front of them with absolutely no emotion, and this frightened even more. Sina felt herself being pushed forward, and she realized that she was standing still. Sighing, she turned to her brother and said:</p><p>"Be careful, Levi." the girl squeezed out a smile. She didn't want to show how worried and afraid for him. Without waiting for an answer, she walked deeper into the room and sat down in the corner, hugging her legs to her. The man hesitated for a couple of seconds, as if he wanted to say something, but without saying a word, he quickly left the room. Sina's eyes involuntarily looked at the doorway in which she stood a few seconds ago with her brother, and the girl wondered if she would see him again. Sina shook her head, driving away those thoughts. She will definitely see him, you need to believe in him, the nickname of the strongest warrior of humanity is not given just like that. Burying herself tighter in her sweater, trying to control her emotions, she took a deep breath. She just had to wait.</p><p>***</p><p>Julie thought she was going for a very long time. But she was glad that she managed to find a merchant who agreed to take her to Wall Rose. Of course, she had to give him some of her money, but this way her journey will take much less time than if she was walking. Stohess was not alone. In every city that was outside the walls, people did not find a place for themselves. The realization that there was no way Julie could help all these people made her feel so useless, and a disgusting feeling settled in her heart.</p><p>The girl did not even know approximately where the main headquarters of the Intelligence Legion was located, but on the other hand, she could not even imagine that it would go so far.</p><p>The cart slowed down and people began to get out of it. Julie threw a last look at the merchant and thanked him, then jumped to the ground. Behind them came the clatter of hooves and the clatter of wheels, and the wagon had already disappeared around the bend. The girl sighed. Well, here she is, now you need to figure out what to do next. Surely, her parents have already sent people on her trail. If she does not do something, they will soon find her, and all plans will go to pieces, even without starting. Julie quickly examined herself. The dress was rumpled, the hem was covered in dust. "We need to change. In such an outfit they will definitely recognize me." After running away from home, she did not even think about changing her clothes. After the scandal she made, she didn't have time to think about an escape plan. Everything happened spontaneously, and Julie herself did not expect that she would just drop everything and leave. But as strange as it may sound, she did not regret what she had done. On the contrary, pride awoke in her. Now she will not let anyone decide what to do. She herself is the mistress of her destiny, and this thought made her soul damn pleasant.</p><p>After standing for a couple of minutes, she set off. The girl herself did not know where she was going, but you can't just stand on the road and wait for a miracle. This city was markedly different from Stohess.</p><p>The capital was wealthy, with magnificent buildings and perfectly flat roads. Here the houses were small, inconspicuous, all the same. Julie saw this colossal difference between her hometown and this town, which amazed her with its simplicity and poverty, and she felt sick. She knew she was right. Life is cruel and unfair.</p><p>The girl stopped abruptly. Turning her head, she saw mannequins in the window, wearing skirts and dresses of all kinds of colors and colors. They were not at all what she was used to seeing in the tailors' shops in Stohess. Those were in numerous frills, of thin graceful silks, which you are even afraid to touch, because it seems that they will crumble at one touch. These were also made of rough fabric, no patterns and nothing superfluous. Simple and practical. "That's what I need". - thought Julie and, smiling, entered the shop.</p><p>The room was spacious, but there was almost no furniture, just a couple of mannequins and a large table on which the girl could see various fabrics and ready-made clothes. Julie stepped closer to get a better look. The choice was not as great as in Stohess. The girl ran her hand over the fabric. She was thick and tough to the touch, not at all what she was used to. Mom would not even let her get close to such things, but that made Julie even more fond of them. A loud voice brought the girl out of his thoughts.</p><p>"How can I help you?"</p><p>Julie looked up and saw a thin woman of about forty in front of her. In her hands she held a roll of crimson cloth and smiled affably. The girl involuntarily smiled back.</p><p>"Um… I need clothes. The simplest one you have."</p><p>The woman looked at Julie in bewilderment and looked her up and down, which made the girl uncomfortable. She looked at the wall, trying to look as casual as possible. There was a pause, and then the woman simply turned around and headed for the stairs that led up.</p><p>"One minute."</p><p>Julie breathed a sigh of relief. It is good that the woman did not ask questions, because otherwise she did not know how she would explain to her why a young richly dressed girl, who looked like an aristocrat, had simple country clothes. Less than five minutes later, the woman returned. She had a parcel in her hands. She walked over to Julie and handed her the clothes.</p><p>"Here you are."</p><p>The girl carefully took the bundle, like a child, and thanked the woman. Pulling a couple of coins from her pocket, she handed them to the merchant. She looked at the money and shook her head.</p><p>"It's too much for such a trifle."</p><p>Julie just took the woman by the hand and put the money in her palm. Then she smiled and said:</p><p>"Please take. I insist."</p><p>The woman looked at the girl uncertainly, but seeing the confidence and approval on Julie's face, she accepted the money, thanking her warmly. The girl looked at the clothes and frowned. The merchant, noticing the frown on her face, asked:</p><p>"Something is wrong? Maybe I can bring you something else?"</p><p>Julie threw her head up and quickly shook her head.</p><p>"No, no, it's all right. It's just ... can I change my clothes here?"</p><p>The woman looked at the girl even more surprised, but after a while she nodded.</p><p>"Sure. You can change upstairs."</p><p>Julie smiled happily and, thanking the hostess, almost ran upstairs. On the second floor, she unwrapped a bundle of clothes. There really was the simplest clothes here - a woolen brown skirt and a gray shirt. Wearing clothes that were unusually loose and light compared to the tight and heavy dresses that her mother always ordered from the tailor, the girl looked in the mirror. Surprisingly, the clothes looked good. She successfully harmonized with her brown hair and brown eyes, though she was a little too big. Julie took another look at herself in the mirror, sighed and headed downstairs. The woman asked if the clothes fit, if she liked everything, and after convincing her that everything was fine and that this was exactly what she needed, the girl said goodbye and left the shop. Now she is ready for anything. Julie felt like a different person. She felt herself. As if all her life she was just an actor who had to put on a mask every day and play in a play that she despised. And now she threw off the mask, and finally took a deep breath. For the first time in her life, she was free.</p><p>The girl headed forward without looking back. Now she needs to find someone who can tell her how to get to the Survey Corps. How to do it, she had no idea. Seeing in the distance a huge crowd of people, Julie went there. Suddenly the girl felt a firm grip on her arm. She was turned abruptly, and from this rough movement stars appeared in front of her eyes. This gesture unbalanced the girl and all the thoughts that had been in her head before disappeared. Turning, Julie saw that there was a soldier in front of her, her gaze involuntarily fell on his shoulder. There was a painfully familiar emblem that she had long dreamed of seeing on herself. Wings of Freedom.</p><p>"What are you doing here? This is the very epicenter of danger, you cannot be here." He spoke so quickly that Julie could hardly make out the meaning of his sentence. Before she had time to answer, she was dragged in an unknown direction. In the distance Julie saw several ships with a huge number of people. And the realization came to her that these people were refugees from Shiganshina, those who managed to escape. Suddenly the soldier who was still holding the girl's hand cursed and quickened his pace. It was several tens of meters to the pier, but suddenly he stopped abruptly, from which Julie ran into his back.</p><p>The soldier, as if only now remembered that she was still here, looked at her, and then began to peer into the crowd. Julie followed his gaze, and her gaze focused on the girl, they looked the same age. Despite the fact that there were hundreds of people around her, she stood out from them all. Her gaze was empty, she looked at one point, but it felt like she was not here, but somewhere in a completely different place. From time to time she was shaken, and her hands trembled. Looking at her, Julie felt her heart tighten. Suddenly, the soldier jumped off and dragged the girl along. Grabbing the same girl from the crowd with his other hand, he turned and began to move back. Seconds later, they started running. Breathing began to go astray, there was a feeling that the legs would just bend now. But the fear that the crowd would simply trample her if she fell forced Julie to keep running.</p><p>They ran for about half an hour without stopping, everything was like in high-speed shooting, everything and everything around was in motion, and this made the head spin. They did not stop their way until they saw in front of a huge stone fortress and several towers that surrounded it. Julie thought this building could hold up to almost anything. Looking up, she saw the Legion of Intelligence flag fluttering in the wind. Despite the fact that Julie's eyes began to water from the bright sun, she could not look away until they entered the fortress.</p><p>She went down the steep stairs into a room that looked like a dungeon. During the entire journey, the soldier did not utter a dozen words, but when he reached the doorway, he stopped and quickly rattled:</p><p>"Sit here until things calm down a little, it's safe here. Don't lean out." - Turning around on his heels, he began to quickly climb back up. Julie thought that he had done so much for her, and probably for many other people, that without thanking him, it would be rude and heartless:</p><p>"Thanks you!"  Julie shouted, hoping that the soldier did hear her. She looked at the girl from the crowd, she was very pale, so Julie took her hand and dragged her into the room.</p><p>***</p><p>It had been about an hour since Levi had brought Sina to safety. All this time she did not raise her head, trying to isolate herself from all the noise that reigned around. The sound of footsteps brought her out of her trance. Sina looked up sharply, hoping it was Levi, but saw two girls in the doorway. One was dark-haired and looked terrible. White as a sheet, she was shaking as in a fever, and Sina thought that she was about to pass out. The other was calmer, holding the first girl by the hand and whispering something in her ear. After a few seconds, she looked up from her companion and looked around the room. It was filled with people, and there was practically no free space. But the girl did not give up and diligently looked for where they could settle down. And then her eyes rested on Sina. There was still a little space next to her, so the girl, without thinking twice, decisively headed towards her, dragging her companion by the hand, who just silently followed her, her head lowered to the floor.</p><p>She went up to Sina, she stopped and smiled affably.</p><p>"Can we sit here? You do not mind?"</p><p>Sina shook her head and moved slightly to the right to give them more space. The girls silently sat down beside her and leaned against the wall. There was a silence. No one spoke a word. Sina just stared at the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. She was afraid to raise her head and look at unfamiliar girls. "Maybe we should start a conversation?" But she was never really good at it. She had no friends, she even spoke little to people. What if she says something wrong? The girl nervously fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Quiet voices were heard around, someone was winding circles around the room, and someone just stood and looked around in fright. The silence dragged on. Time passed slowly, too slowly, as it seemed to Sina. She turned her head and looked at the girls who were sitting next to her. The brown-haired girl pulled her knees to her chest, her hands folded together in her lap, her chin resting on her hands. She calmly looked around, as if what was happening did not concern her at all. Sina even envied such calmness. The second girl sat motionless, her palms, closed in the lock, lay on her knees. She didn't even seem to breathe. The trembling stopped, which was surprising, because when she entered, she was shaking terribly. And now she just sat like a statue, staring at one point. She gave Sina goosebumps. "What could have happened to her?" The girl had already opened her mouth to ask, but then a voice rang out next to her.</p><p>"I wonder how long we will sit here."</p><p>Sina turned her gaze to the talking girl. She looked in front of her and seemed to be talking to herself. But suddenly she turned her head abruptly and looked at Sina, staring at her as if expecting an answer. She twitched, but did not look away. Swallowing, Sina replied:</p><p>"I-I don't know. How much you need."</p><p>The chestnut-haired girl sighed and nodded, turning away from Sina. There was a pause. They listened to the conversations around them, but it was hard to make out at least something. Sina thought that this was the end of their dialogue, as the girl spoke again.</p><p>"How long have you been sitting here?"</p><p>She looked at Sina expectantly. The girl continued to fiddle with her shirt nervously.</p><p>"About an hour, I think."</p><p>Sina did not dare to look at her neighbor. A familiar silence reigned between them, when suddenly a hand appeared in front of the girl. She looked in surprise at the brown-haired one, and she smiled at her.</p><p>"My name is Julia. And you?"</p><p>Sina lowered her eyes to the outstretched hand. For the first time in her life, someone invited her to meet. Her age. She even smiled at her. Sina could not believe her ears and eyes. She wanted to cry with happiness. It seems that she was silent for too long, because the girl leaned forward slightly, looking into her face and said:</p><p>"Well, what about you…"</p><p>Sina quickly blinked away the tears that threatened to flow from her eyes, and looked up at the girl. She smiled uncertainly.</p><p>"S-sina."</p><p>Sina held out her hand in response, and she, quickly clasping the girl's hand, squeezed it tightly. Julie asked with surprise in her voice:</p><p>"Wow, what is your name like a wall?"</p><p>Sina averted her eyes in embarrassment. She had no idea who gave her that name or why. But she liked it. One of the few things in her life that she did not despise. The girl answered embarrassedly:</p><p>"Yes, probably…"</p><p>Julie just nodded and moved a little closer to Sina.</p><p>"So, Sina, how did you get here?"</p><p>The girl did not know whether to tell Julie about where she was from and how she got into the Reconnaissance squad. Levy didn't tell her anything about this. What if she can't tell anyone? What if it's a secret? But on the other hand, if one person doesn't know, nothing like that will happen, right? Julie looks like a sweet girl to her. Maybe they can even make friends. For some reason, Sina wanted to trust this girl. She sighed and turned to Julie.</p><p>"Actually, I'm from the Underground City. She lived there with her father. But then he left, and I don't know if he's alive at all. I was found by a man from the Legion of Intelligence, Levi Ackerman. She and Erwin Smith ..."</p><p>Suddenly someone abruptly grabbed her by the shoulders and the girl cried out in surprise. Looking up, she saw that it was the same dark-haired girl. She squeezed her palms tightly around Sina's shoulders. Her eyes were wide and her voice was hoarse from the long silence.</p><p>- Do you know Erwin Smith ?! Please tell me!</p><p>The girl shook Sina's shoulders, clutching her fingers even tighter, which hurt Sina. She looked desperately at the dark-haired, whose gaze was frantic, almost insane. Tears came to her eyes, her voice trembled.</p><p>"I-I saw him only t-times. He, along with Levy, took m-me from the Underground City two days ago. I swear I n-never saw him again. Please t-trust me.</p><p>Sina sobbed, and then the girl seemed to wake up. She looked down at her hands, a painful grip on Sina's fragile shoulders. She quickly unclenched her fingers, and Sina, sighing with relief, rubbed her shoulders, which will now have bruises, and glanced fearfully towards the girl.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I just ..."</p><p>Then Julie abruptly intervened in the conversation.</p><p>"Are you crazy?!"</p><p>The girl flinched at the harsh tone. She turned her gaze to Julie, who frowned at the dark-haired woman with furrowed brows. Sina was still lovingly rubbing her bruised spots. The dark-haired woman turned her gaze to the side.</p><p>"It was unintentional. I just heard the name Erwin Smith and I was overwhelmed. Sorry to scare you, I didn't mean it."</p><p>The latter was addressed to Sina. She looked uncertainly at the girl and nodded slightly. The dark-haired woman visibly relaxed and even tried to smile, but it didn't work out very well.</p><p>"What's so special about this Erwin Smith?"</p><p>Julie's voice was still incredulous, she looked doubtfully at the stranger. She turned pale, her hands began to tremble. The girls noticed this and looked at each other excitedly. The first broke Sina's silence.</p><p>"You don't have to say, if you don't want to, we won't ..."</p><p>"I'm from Shiganshina. I was there when the wall fell."</p><p>Hearing this, both girls tensed. They were silent, waiting for the dark-haired woman to say something else or the end. After a long pause, the girl swallowed nervously and continued in a trembling voice.</p><p>"The Titans killed everyone, including my parents. I saw how my mother was eaten in front of my eyes. Dad sacrificed himself so I could be saved. And I could not do anything, I just stood and watched them being killed. Before they died, they told me that I must find Erwin Smith. I must do everything in my power to find him. Then I ran. I got to the pier and God knows how I got on the ship. And now I am here."</p><p>She looked at the girls expectantly. Her hands were still shaking, tears were pouring from her eyes, but she just stared, making no attempt to wipe them away. The girls were silent, unable to find the words. Sina trembled as well as the dark-haired girl, her lips were trembling, and her eyes were red with unshed tears. Julie was just silent and looked dumbfounded at the dark-haired. She was the first to break the silence.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry. I did not want…"</p><p>"It's okay."</p><p>The girl interrupted her sharply. She quickly wiped away her tears, took a deep breath, and looked at Sina.</p><p>"Can you tell me where to find Erwin Smith?"</p><p>Sina nodded her head. She wanted to do something to help the girl who had such a nightmare. Sina could not even imagine what she was feeling now. Maybe she can ask Levi for help as soon as he comes back for her. Sina looked at the girl with determination.</p><p>"My brother, Levi, knows Erwin Smith. As soon as he returns, I will ask him to take you to him."</p><p>The girl sighed with relief.</p><p>"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me."</p><p>At this, Sina smiled. Maybe she could even have two friends. Yes, the dark-haired girl scared her at first, but she had reasons. Despite all the horror that she went through, this girl still finds the strength to move on. To live on. Sina did not know what she would do in her place. After a while, Julie's quiet voice said:</p><p>"So, what's your name?"</p><p>The dark-haired woman turned her gaze to the girl, unsure if she was addressing her. After a short pause, she replied:</p><p>"Anna. Anna Smith."</p><p>Both girls smiled at her, and Anna couldn't help but smile back. For the first time since the fall of the wall of Mary, she felt better. Of course, she was far from "fine," but at least she didn't feel so lonely. The girl looked at Julie.</p><p>"What about you? How did you get here?"</p><p>Julie looked at Anna in surprise, as if she had completely forgotten about her existence, but seeing that the girls were expecting an answer, she laughed nervously.</p><p>"Oh good, my turn. My story, compared to yours, is a kindergarten. My name is Julia Hofmann and I am from ..."  the girl hesitated for a second, "I am from a small village, here ... not far away ... " The brunette lowered her eyes. She decided that lying is the only way to escape the past. The girl looked at the two again and smiled. "Nice to meet you."</p><p>Sina looked at Anna and Julia and could not believe her happiness. After everything that happened to her, after a hungry childhood, after eternal loneliness, she not only found a family, got out of the Underground City, but also found friends. First friends in life. Yes, they are still far from being called friends, but for some reason Sina was one hundred percent sure that they would become. The girl's heart felt very warm, as if after the eternal winter spring had finally come. The first spring in her life. The girl smiled back:</p><p>"Yes. Very nice."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. This letter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes I hear you calling</p><p>From some lost and distant shore</p><p>I hear you crying softly</p><p>For the way it was before</p><p>Red — Hymn For The Missing</p><p>***</p><p>There was silence in the room. People no longer had the strength to talk or even move. Everyone sat quietly and listened to the sounds outside, as if at any moment they could hear the footsteps of the approaching titans. Nobody knew how much time had passed. An hour, two, maybe four or five? Endless waiting began to weigh on everyone.</p><p>The girls also sat in silence. They were exhausted, physically and mentally, but more mentally. They have been talking non-stop for the past few hours. They talked about everything that came to mind. During the whole conversation, Sina experienced so many new emotions that she had not experienced in her entire life. The girl could not even imagine that one second she could laugh so painfully, and the next she was already choking on tears. In the end, she was so tired that she didn't even have the strength to tear her head off the wall. Julie and Anna weren't much different from her. Julie sat with her eyes closed, as if dozing, but at the same time she reacted to every sound and every movement. Anna just looked at one point, and from her glance it was impossible to understand what she was thinking. Sina was amazed at her calmness. How can you remain so calm after everything she's been through? Anna had incredible fortitude. Sina thought that they are all very similar to each other, but at the same time completely different. Anna is ready to defend herself and will always tell the truth, if the situation requires it, she will never be silent if her name, or the name of her family, wants to slander. Despite what happened to her, she continued to smile.</p><p>Sina was the quietest of the girls. She never started a conflict, and if she could, she avoided it. In the world she'd gotten out of so recently, she knew where words from the wrong person would lead. She will never tell the truth if it might offend someone. The girl secretly shared that she considers this trait disgusting and wants to learn how to tell people the truth, even if it hurts.</p><p>Julie, on the other hand, accepts criticism more calmly and once again will never conflict, unless the situation gets out of control. But, as she said, her patience is not endless and sometimes she can get frustrated.</p><p>They all went through a lot, each has its own story, but they survived and will survive, no matter what.</p><p>"I want to join the Survey Corps."</p><p>The girls looked at Julie in surprise. She was serious, with confidence and determination in her eyes. It won't be easy, she knew it. She also understood that she could die, and most likely will die, but she was tired of being a useless doll, dressed up in beautiful dresses and put on display by rich, fat aristocrats. She would rather die trying to do something worthwhile, such as saving humanity, than spend her entire life in a cage, doing what her parents want her to do, like an obedient puppet. No, she's not like that. Let this be the first and last decision in her life, but it will be her own decision. Her own choice. Sina broke the silence.</p><p>"I want too."</p><p>Now is the time to marvel at Julie. She met Sina's eyes and saw the same determination in her gaze as in her own. This she had not expected. Sina seemed to her a quiet girl, soft and shy. Julie couldn't even imagine how this girl could swat a mosquito, let alone kill titans. But looking closer, she saw something in her green eyes that she had not noticed before. Some kind of hidden force that is waiting for its awakening. Julie thought this little girl would surprise her again. Tilting her head, she asked:</p><p>"Why do you need it? Your brother is in the Survey Legion. Doesn't he protect you if something happens?"</p><p>Sina frowned at these words. Yes, Levi would be able to protect her, she had no doubt about it. Even if she knows him for only a few days, he has already managed to prove to her that he will not leave her and that she is safe with him. But Sina did not want to spend her entire life under the care of her brother. She herself wanted to be able to stand up for herself. As far back as she could remember, the girl was always weak. She let her father push her around, so she had to pay for her helplessness. She allowed strangers to beat her and take away her food, which was hard-won because she could not fight back. But now everything has changed. Looking at Levi, she thought that she dreamed of becoming the same. Independent, strong, determined, courageous. She wanted to protect those who needed help herself. Protect her brother. Yes, she wanted it more than anything else. So that when he looked at her, he saw not a weak little girl, but a strong girl who could kick any titan's ass. She smiled at the thought. She will do everything in her power. Will join the Survey Corps, learn to kill titans. Anna and what happened to her and her family immediately came to mind. She won't let this happen again. Never. The girl smiled at Julie.</p><p>"I don't want to be dependent on my brother. I want to be able to stand up for myself and for those close to me. And I will do everything to get into the Survey Legion."</p><p>She saw pride and respect rise in Julia's eyes. The girl smiled at Sina. It seems that she will not be alone, and this thought made her very happy. Sighing in relief, she turned to Anna.</p><p>"What will you do after you find Erwin?"</p><p>Anna, lost in thought, lowered her head down and looked at her hands on her lap. She didn't even think about it. The girl was so focused on finding Erwin Smith that she simply did not have time to think about something else. All that was in her mind was the fall of the wall, the death of her parents and Erwin Smith. The rest just didn't exist for her. But now that Julie hinted about it ... Maybe it's time to think about how her future life will turn out? On the other hand, Anna understood that it would depend on this Erwin. "What is in this letter that my mother wrote?" This question tormented her, haunted her. What could be so important in him that his parents practically gave their lives for him? The temptation to just rip the envelope and read the letter was overwhelming. A couple of times the girl caught herself on the fact that her hand involuntarily reaches for her pocket, but she immediately pulled herself back. "No I can't. It is not right". So there was nothing she could do now, just wait until she found Erwin. Anna raised her head and saw that both girls were looking at her expectantly. The girl sighed.</p><p>"I dont know. First of all, I need to find Erwin Smith, and then I will think further. I can't think of anything else yet."</p><p>They nodded in understanding. There was a silence, but it wasn't tense or awkward. On the contrary, they felt comfortable just sitting next to each other and pondering what was said. They sat like that, in silence, for a long time, but then footsteps were heard on the stone floor. The girls jumped up and turned towards the door. This agonizing wait is finally over.</p><p>The door flew open and several soldiers began to walk briskly into the room. Sina stared at them, her heart skipping a beat as she failed to catch a familiar frowning face in the crowd of military men. Despair filled her, she gripped the hem of her shirt with a death grip, which even turned her knuckles white. "Come on, where are you ?!" - the girl prayed to herself, biting her lip to the blood. She almost howled when the last soldier showed up, but this was not the one she was expecting. The men began to lead people outside, shouting something that everything was in order, there was nothing to be afraid of, the danger was behind and that everyone could safely go home, but Sina did not listen to them. The girl felt her eyes fill with tears. "Is he ...?"</p><p>But her thoughts were interrupted when, in the crowd of people leaving, she stumbled upon the black crown of her head. Her heart was beating at the speed of light, the hands were trembling, but still a single tear rolled out of her eye. Such familiar and already such dear gray eyes glared at her, and Sina almost collapsed to the floor with relief. A sigh escaped her chest, and she felt that she would have passed out if Anna had not touched her shoulder next to her.</p><p>"Sina, are you all right? You're awfully pale."</p><p>The girl looked up and met the worried brown eyes. She nodded and smiled at her friend.</p><p>"Yes, everything is fine."</p><p>Anna didn't look convinced, but she let Sina go. At that moment Levi approached the girls. Without glancing at Julie and Anna, he looked at his sister and carefully examined her from head to toe.</p><p>"Everything is okay?"</p><p>The girl nodded once more, casting a quick glance at her friends, who were quiet next to her. Julie looked nervously from Sina to Levi, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Anna, on the other hand, stood a little closer to Sina, calm and unperturbed, but from the barely noticeable trembling of her hands, Sina realized that she was also worried, although she was trying not to give it out. The girl looked at her brother.</p><p>"Everything is fine. What about you? Are you okay? How did everything go?"</p><p>Levi frowned. The girl saw that he did not really want to talk about it, but continued to look at him expectantly. The man realized that they would not leave him alone, and surrendering, sighed.</p><p>"Shiganshina is filled with titans. We couldn't find those who broke through the wall. A huge crowd of refugees from Maria approaches Rose. Those who were able to survive. We're safe here for now, but we need to be on the lookout."</p><p>Sina felt Anna flinch next to her at the mention of Shiganshina. The girl wanted to turn around and hug her friend, at least somehow help her, but Levi did not give her this opportunity.</p><p>"We're leaving right now."</p><p>The man quickly took his sister's hand and already turned to go to the door, but Sina grabbed the hand holding her with her two and pulled it towards herself, preventing Levi from leaving.</p><p>"Wait! I need to tell you something!"</p><p>Levi arched an eyebrow and turned to face the girl. Sina felt her throat dry and her palms were sweating. Swallowing nervously, she let go of her brother and turned to the girls who were patiently waiting behind her. Sina nodded to them and turned her gaze to Levi.</p><p>"These girls are named Julie and Anna. We met here while we waited. Julie wants to join the Survey Corps, become a scout and help save humanity."</p><p>Then Sina took Anna's hand and felt the girl squeeze her hand in response. This gave her confidence and she looked at her brother resolutely.</p><p>"Anna is from Shiganshina and she needs to meet Erwin Smith."</p><p>Levi looked inquiringly at the girl, as if he saw her for the first time. She stood with an unreadable face, brown eyes staring at the man, not looking away. Levi was the first to break the silence.</p><p>"Why do you need Smith?"</p><p>There was genuine surprise in his voice. The girl answered without hesitation:</p><p>"None of your business."</p><p>Sina, turning sharply to Anna, looked at her in dismay. "What is she doing? Is she out of her mind? " She had already opened her mouth to tell her to be polite, but her brother's voice interrupted her.</p><p>"It's my business if you ask me to do it. I can't bring anyone to Erwin, just because they wanted to. I'll repeat the question, why do you need Smith?"</p><p>Even Sina flinched at Levi's harsh tone, but Anna outwardly seemed calm, even though the girl saw that the muscles on her face tensed, and the hand that squeezed her palm trembled. The dark-haired girl pressed her lips together and, after a short pause, answered.</p><p>"I need to give him a letter."</p><p>This information didn't suit Levi. He continued to scrutinize Anna, as if he was only trying to knock answers out of her with a glance. But this time the girl remained adamant. She was silent, her eyes fixed on the man. Levi, tired of this senseless fight and realizing that he was losing precious time, turned his head and looked at his sister, who looked imploringly back. "Please, just do as she asks, I'll explain everything to you later." The girl hoped that her mute request would reach her brother, and it looks like it worked, because all Levi said was an annoyed "Ts", and then he turned and nodded towards the door.</p><p>"Follow me. Keep up, because I will not wait for you."</p><p>And sharply grabbing Sina's hand, he quickly went to the exit. Anna and Julie looked at each other, and then, with a sigh of relief, hurried after the man.</p><p>***</p><p>Sina was nervous. She was very nervous. She knew that talking to Levy would not be easy, and that the man was angry with her, or at least annoyed. The girl thought a thousand times in her head what she would say to her brother, but still could not drive away the fear. She wanted to help Anna, but her relationship with Levy was not so trusting, because they only knew each other for a couple of days. She knew that she was demanding too much from a man, but as soon as she remembered the expression on the face with which Anna told about the death of her parents, the girl was ready to take a risk.</p><p>The road back was quiet, even too quiet. No one uttered a word for the entire time, and Sina was generally afraid to even breathe next to her brother. Her friends were in a similar state. But what has been said cannot be returned, and she did not want to. Sina simply prayed that it would all be over as soon as possible, before she fainted with fear. The girl does not even remember how they ended up in the castle she already knew. She turned to look at Julie and Anna and saw them gazing in admiration at the headquarters of the Survey Legion. The corners of Sina's lips twitched, eventually breaking into a smile. She remembered coming here herself two days ago and seeing this place for the first time. It seemed like an eternity had passed. She watched Julie whisper something vigorously in Anna's ear, who simply nods silently in return. Climbing the stairs, they found themselves near Sina's room. Levi turned to his sister and pointed to the door with a nod of his head.</p><p>"You wait for me here," the man frowned at the two remaining girls, "and you two follow me."</p><p>Without waiting for an answer, he turned abruptly and walked down the corridor. Sina took one last look at her friends and smiled encouragingly. Julie waved goodbye and Anna sighed, then they hurried after the captain, not wanting to make him angry. Sina watched them retreat down the hallway, their footsteps echoing in her ears. The girl bit her lip and entered her room. During her absence, nothing has changed, and it's not that she was expecting something new. She slowly surveyed the entire room. Sina could not get used to the thought that this was her new home, her own room. Bright, spacious, with beautiful comfortable furniture and, best of all, clean. The girl went deeper and carefully sat down on the corner of the bed, trying not to stain the fresh sheets. Now she could only wait for her brother. She didn't know what to expect at all. Will he yell at her, or will he just stand and burn through her with his icy look, from which goosebumps. The girl was sure that if it was possible to kill with a look, then the entire population of the earth, along with the titans, would have met its end long ago. How will she say all this to him? How does she explain that she vouched for the girls she has known for only a few hours? He'll probably think she's crazy. Although, perhaps it is. She herself did not know how to explain it. She just felt that they could be trusted. It's like feeling bad weather approaching. You have a headache and you know for sure that it will rain soon. So it is with her. Looking at Julie and Anna, she was one hundred percent sure that they were telling the truth. Her sixth sense has never failed her.</p><p>Each second of waiting equated to an hour. The girl again began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt and thought that it was time to get rid of this bad habit. But the nerves were naughty, and the insides tied in a tight knot. It's good that she hadn't eaten anything for a long time, because Sina was sure that otherwise all the food would be on the floor. She listened to the sounds outside the door, and when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps, her heart skipped a beat. "Calm down, you'll just tell him everything Anna told you, there's nothing to worry about." But it didn't make it any easier, and when the girl saw the door swing open and Levi enters the room, Sina was ready to swear that her heart stopped for a second. He looked the same as always. Frowning brows, tightly compressed lips, cold gray eyes. The man stood for a couple of seconds, and then, closing the door behind him, went to the chair. The girl followed him with frightened eyes and watched him gracefully sit down. The man crossed his arms over his chest, and when their eyes met, the girl quickly lowered her head. It was beyond her strength to look her brother in the eye now. The man just studied her for a couple of seconds, and then, taking a deep breath, said:</p><p>"Now tell everything in details. Who are they, how did you find them, and what does this Anna want from Smith?"</p><p>Blue wanted to hide somewhere, where she would not be seen, not heard, and where no living soul could ever find her, especially the person sitting opposite her. He looked at the girl expectantly, and she wanted to do anything just to escape from this piercing gaze. But she understood that she could not sit here forever and that a few meters from her her friends were probably going crazy with excitement, especially Anna, who hoped for her help. Collecting all her courage that was only in her, the girl raised her eyes to her brother and spoke in a trembling voice:</p><p>"We met while we sat and waited in this shelter. Julie said that she was from a small village not far from here and that she had dreamed of joining the Recon Squad all her life. Anna..."</p><p>Sina hesitated for a second. She looked up at the wall and bit her lip. It was too hard for her. This conversation, which hadn't even really started yet, had already exhausted her to the limit. She met her brother's gaze, and making sure that he was listening to her carefully, she continued:</p><p>"Anna came from Shiganshina. She saw how the titans broke through the wall, saw how the inhabitants were killed. Her parents were eaten before her eyes. But before they died, they gave her a letter and said that she needed to find Erwin Smith. Therefore, now she is doing everything possible to see him."</p><p>The girl fell silent. There was a pause in the room, Sina heard her heart beating, heard the sound of blood in her ears. The silence deafened her. She did not dare to raise her head and look at her brother. I just sat there and waited for Levi to say something. After, it seemed to her, for ages, the man nevertheless answered:</p><p>"And what is in this letter?"</p><p>The girl looked up sharply. Levi was sitting in the same position as at the very beginning of the conversation, it seemed he never even moved. His gaze remained the same impenetrable, although there was a note of interest in his voice.</p><p>"I – I don't know. Even she doesn't know, she didn't open the envelope and didn't read the letter, so it's just as much a mystery to her as it is to us."</p><p>That murderous silence again. Levi no longer looked at her, preferring to turn his gaze to the door. Sina waited, at least some reaction, an answer, maybe more questions, but the captain just sat motionless, staring at one point and frowning even more. Sina didn't know how long they sat like that, but Levi sighed and, getting up, went to the door. Sina looked in surprise at the retreating figure of her brother.</p><p>"Wh-where are you?"</p><p>The captain grabbed the doorknob and, slowing down, turned to Sina.</p><p>"For your friend."</p><p>The girl's face broke into a smile. She felt her heart beating faster and could not believe what she was hearing.</p><p>"Will you take her to Erwin?"</p><p>Levi looked at her and then turned back towards the door.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>***</p><p>Anna could say with complete confidence that waiting is the worst torture invented by humanity. When you turn into a taut string that can burst at any moment, when her heart is constantly screaming that you need to do something, at least something, otherwise you will just go crazy, but her mind realizes that you cannot do anything, just count seconds as a sentenced to death counts down the last minutes of his life before going up the scaffold (approx. a platform for the execution of the death penalty or for the execution of public punishments). Yes, waiting is undoubtedly the most cruel torture.</p><p>The girl was already tired of this endless waiting. She only does what she waits. She waited to get to Rose after the fall of Maria, she waited in the shelter, she waits now, in this little room, until this little man returns and finally takes her to the person for whom she came to this godforsaken place. It seems that in her life there is nothing left but a vicious circle of endless waiting.</p><p>The girl sighed and looked at Julie, who nervously wound circles around the room, now and then glancing at the door. Anna's head was already starting to spin from her body movements. But the girl did not stop, continuing to make her friend want to hit her on the head with something heavy. In the end, Anna could not stand it.</p><p>"Julie, please sit down already. You won't get anywhere."</p><p>Julie, sharply throwing her head to Anna, stopped, and the latter involuntarily exhaled with relief. The girl rubbed her right hand awkwardly and bit her lip.</p><p>"Sorry, I'm just nervous."</p><p>She walked quickly towards the bed and plopped down next to Anna. Ever since Levy left them alone in this room, the girl has been walking from corner to corner, trying to calm her nerves. Anna sincerely did not understand what she was so afraid of, because it was not she who was rude to the captain of the elite scout detachment and now sits and waits for him to throw her out of here like a stray cat. The girl realized that she had come here only thanks to Sina, and had no idea how she could repay her for it. Julie's quiet voice brought her out of her thoughts.</p><p>"Do you think the captain will take you to Smith?"</p><p>Anna frowned. She didn't care if he took her away or not. If he refuses to help her, she will find a way to see Erwin, even if she has to fight her way through the crowd of soldiers, including this very captain. Her parents gave their lives for this damn letter to Smith, so she'll get her way. She has no right to surrender. Anna met her gaze with worried brown eyes.</p><p>"I don't know, but I won't give up so easily."</p><p>Julie just nodded and smiled back as usual. A warm palm felt Anna's fingers and squeezed tightly, making it clear that she was there if she needed help. Surprisingly, it worked. Anna's shoulders relaxed a little, her tightly compressed lips softened, and her gaze warmed. The girl had not felt so comfortable for a long time, since that ill-fated day. For the first time in all this time, she did not feel alone. The girls did not even hear the sound of footsteps along the corridor, and only when the door swung open, they both jumped, and Julie instinctively squeezed Anna's hand tighter.</p><p>Levi, without even bothering to fully enter the room, threw a fleeting glance at Anna from the doorway and said:</p><p>"You. Behind me."</p><p>Without waiting for an answer, the man just silently left, and a second later a loud sound of his footsteps was heard along the corridor. Anna with wide eyes for a couple of seconds just looked at the place where Levi was only now, and then quickly turned to Julie. She was in the same shock, but the worry from her eyes did not disappear. Swallowing, she grabbed the girl by the shoulders and, looking into her eyes, asked:</p><p>"Should I go with you?"</p><p>Anna shook her head and, taking Julie's hands in hers, lowered them into her lap, finally squeezing them tightly.</p><p>"No, it's okay. I'll be fine."</p><p>Julie just nodded slowly. Anna saw how she once again smiled encouragingly at her, and, smiling in return, hurried after the captain.</p><p>Catching up with him was not easy. She walked behind him, or rather ran behind him, trying to avoid collisions with other soldiers who periodically came across in their path. Levy never once turned around to see if she was lagging behind. The girl didn't even know where they were going. "Maybe he still decided to get rid of me? Although, I would not be surprised." Silence and ignorance drove me crazy, so, gathering all her will into a fist, the girl asked:</p><p>"Where are we going?"</p><p>The man didn't show that he heard her, he just continued on his way, increasing the pace even more. The girl gritted her teeth with irritation. Yes, she screwed up, but can you at least answer the fucking question? Anna had already taken more air in her mouth to tell him everything she thought of him, as a low, almost threatening voice echoed down the corridor, from which the girl shuddered:</p><p>"Where you wanted to. To Erwin Smith."</p><p>The words were stuck in a huge lump in the girl's throat, her eyes involuntarily widened, and her heart pounded with incredible force, as if it was about to jump out of her chest. Before the girl had time to recover, they were already standing in front of the wooden door. Levi turned to Anna, and his icy gray eyes met her hesitant brown.</p><p>"Ready?"</p><p>Is she ready? She didn't know herself. That was what it was all about. For what her mom and dad died. What she came here for. She wanted to know what was in that envelope, who was Erwin, and why he was so important. But she was also afraid. Anna herself did not understand what she was afraid of, but it was some kind of slippery, disgusting feeling that crawled into her bones, into her muscles and into every cell of her body. She sharply wanted to run away from here and just forget about this nightmare, as if it had never happened. But she knew perfectly well that she could not forget anything. He will not be able to forget the last words of his father, and how he until the last thought not about himself, but about her, so that she would be saved. She will never be able to forget all this hell, when you are torn from the inside with all-consuming horror, when you are paralyzed with fear and you cannot even move your fingertips. When you see innocent people die, your loved ones go to feed the titans, and you can do nothing. Because you are defenseless and weak. Anna raised her gaze to the captain, who was still looking at her for an answer. At the hideout, Julie asked her what she was going to do next with her life. Now she knew the answer for sure.</p><p>"Ready."</p><p>Levi, without answering, raised his hand to knock, but Anna abruptly grabbed his wrist. The man raised a thin eyebrow and looked at her in surprise, as if asking what the hell she was doing. The girl, taking a deep breath, muttered almost in a whisper, looking the captain in the eyes:</p><p>"Thanks. For everything."</p><p>Anna let go of his hand, and for a couple of seconds they just stood in front of the door. Levi then knocked three times with a short nod. A deep baritone behind the door said, "Come in," and Anna followed the captain into Erwin Smith's office.</p><p>It was not a huge, plush office filled with expensive furniture and other luxury items. No, it was the most ordinary room, like the one Levi had brought him and Julie into, maybe a little bigger. In the center was a rough table of dark wood, on which she noticed a pile of papers, a candle and a couple of three books. In the corner, next to the window, you could see a brown sofa, and next to it, two leather chairs. There was nothing else from the furniture in the office. But nothing else was needed, because a decent part of the room was occupied by a man who got up from the table as soon as Anna and Levi entered the door. The first thought that popped into Anna's mind at the sight of Erwin Smith was "How huge." Indeed, he was not only tall, so that Anna, probably, did not even reach his chest, but also in complexion. Broad shoulders, muscular arms, which, even in shape, looked very impressive. Everything in this man was screaming "Physical strength." The girl was sure that he could break her in half and not even get out of breath. He looked about 35 years old. I must admit that the man himself was very handsome. Blond hair, bright blue eyes. This combination alone, and even coupled with his physique, looked very impressive.</p><p>Erwin scanned the audience with his attentive gaze. Levi, not a bit embarrassed, walked deeper into the room and sprawled imposingly in an armchair, crossing his legs and crossing his arms over his chest. Erwin lingered at Anna, then turned his blue eyes to the captain.</p><p>"What is obliged to your visit?"</p><p>Levi sighed and said in a bored tone:</p><p>"This girl claims she has something important for you."</p><p>The commander looked at Anna with interest. She just stood there and tried not to move as much as possible. It was difficult because her hands began to tremble and her heart was pounding like mad. All the determination that the girl had a moment ago vanished under this man's gaze.</p><p>"And what is it?"</p><p>Anna, by inertia, thrust her hand into her pocket and felt the crumpled envelope there. Memories flooded one after another. Here is Mom standing at the table and writing a letter, dripping tears on it and smearing ink. Here dad hands her an envelope, and she stands, unable to move, and just looks at them while the titans get to their house. Now the parents are gone, and she runs with all her strength, tears are streaming down her cheeks like a waterfall, and she no longer sees anything. The memories were too fresh and too painful. She couldn't afford to give in to them now. Shaking her head quickly to ward off the intrusive images, she looked Erwin in the eye.</p><p>"I'm from Shiganshina. I am a witness to the fall of Wall Maria, and I saw everything. My parents died, but before they died, they gave me this letter and told me to find you. They said you will understand everything when you read it. I don't know what is there."</p><p>Anna took out the envelope with trembling hands and walked slowly towards Smith. He just stood and watched the girl, and when she came up, he took the envelope from her hands. For a couple of seconds, the man just stood and looked at him, as if trying to guess what was inside. Deathly silence hung in the room, the girl could hear her knees shaking. A loud, even too loud sound of cracking paper broke this deafening silence, and Anna saw Erwin slowly and very carefully take out the letter. As Smith read, it seemed to Anna that hours had passed. He never even moved, not a single muscle flinched on his face. Even Levi fidgeted nervously in his chair with anticipation. The girl just stood there and was afraid to take another breath. Finally, Erwin looked up from the letter and raised his blue eyes to Anna.</p><p>"Remind me your name."</p><p>The girl shuddered at the sound of his voice. In such dead silence, it sounded like a thunderclap in broad daylight. Anna swallowed and said with dry lips:</p><p>"Anna, sir. Anna Smi..."</p><p>And then it dawned on her. How had she not noticed before? The girl was absorbed in the events of the last days. Fall of the wall, titans, death of parents, escape from Shiganshina, letter. She didn't even think about it. Her last name. The girl's eyes began to open involuntarily in amazement. Anna Smith. Like Erwin. Could this be just a coincidence? Looking up at the man, she understood. No, this is not a coincidence. And from Erwin's look, she could tell he knew it.</p><p>"Anna Smith."</p><p>Erwin didn't react to this. He just silently looked at her for a while, as if he was seeing her for the first time. No one dared to break the silence. Anna just didn't know what to say. Too many things. She couldn't believe that there was a possibility ... Levi's firm voice brought them out of their trance.</p><p>"So what's in the letter, Smith?"</p><p>Erwin ignored the captain and continued to stare at Anna. The girl could not take her eyes off the rich blue eyes, which seemed to be looking inside her, trying to find something there. Maybe another person? Finally, Erwin tore his gaze from the girl and turned to Levi, walking around the desk.</p><p>"Levi, did I ever tell you that I had an older brother?"</p><p>The captain looked inquiringly at the Commander. Erwin never shared with him stories about his life, and even more so about his family. Levy practically did not know anything about him, and there was no particular desire to recognize his commander.</p><p>"No. I guess I just forgot to mention this little fact."</p><p>Erwin smiled slightly. He leaned on his desk and, crossing his arms over his chest, looked again at Anna.</p><p>"So, I had an older brother. We never really got along with him, because our interests were completely different. Eventually, my brother left home when I was still a child. I never found out the reasons. I just woke up one day and he's gone."</p><p>Although Erwin allegedly told all this to Levi, Anna knew that, in fact, the story was meant for her, if only because in all the time Erwin had never broken eye contact with her. After a short pause, he ended ambiguously.</p><p>"I never knew he settled in Shiganshina."</p><p>Anna's heart pounded against her ribcage with rage, and she thought it might well pierce her ribs with such force. She clenched her hands into fists so tightly that her nails dug into the skin, leaving scratches. Her breathing became ragged and sharp. My ears were ringing, and my throat was raw with tears. Trying not to cry with her last strength, the girl whispered.</p><p>"W-what was your b-brother's name?"</p><p>Erwin stood and looked at her, as if telling her that she already knew the answer to this question. But Anna needed to hear him as the last proof, the last piece of the puzzle, after which the whole picture would be built. The man sighed and replied:</p><p>"William. William Smith."</p><p>And for Anna it was the last straw. The girl's eyes rolled back and she fell into darkness. Erwin saw how she could hardly restrain herself, straining every cell of her body, but in the end it turns out to be too much of a shock for her. The man quickly flies up to her, and his hands catch the small body, preventing him from falling to the floor. He carefully puts one hand under the girl's knees, and the other under her back, lifts and carries towards the sofa. The girl's breathing has become smoother, her body no longer shakes with a large tremor, and her heart beats rhythmically, beating out a soft rhythm, such as it should be. Erwin puts Anna neatly on the sofa and sits down next to her. For a couple of minutes they just sat and listened to her breathing, not wanting to break the silence. In the end, Levy is the first to break the silence.</p><p>"An ironic situation. I found my sister and you found my niece. What charming gifts of fate."</p><p>Erwin said nothing to this, continuing to stare at the girl with an unreadable gaze. The man really saw a kind of irony in this. He didn't think he'd ever hear about his brother again. But now that he knows that he is dead, something unpleasant has settled in his heart. They may have never been close, but they did not hate each other either. And when Will disappeared, Erwin even tried to find him, although it was pointless. Looking at the girl, he definitely saw the resemblance. The same nose, the same lips. They were incredibly similar, even though their brother had blue eyes, like Erwin's, and Anna's are chocolate brown, which seem black in the distance, but they have the same look. There was tenacity, courage and something in this look that Erwin could never give a name to. Something strong and attractive.</p><p>The lines from the letter spun in the head of the Commander. Even though the handwriting was illegible, crooked, many words were blurred, but they echoed somewhere deep inside him.</p><p>"My husband never asked you for anything. You may not have been close, but believe me, he regrets that he left without saying goodbye. He was always interested in your life, asked a lot about you, sometimes even strangers. He loved you, even if you find it hard to believe. But I ask you, we ask you! Anna is the only thing we have. Please take care of her."</p><p>Erwin didn't even notice how Levi got up and walked over to him, he was so lost in thought. The man quickly looked at the captain as he rose from the couch.</p><p>"Levi, please take Anna to her room. The girl is shocked after everything that happened, and she needs to rest."</p><p>Levi looked at Smith incredulously, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>"What are you going to do?"</p><p>Erwin took one last look at the peacefully sleeping girl and sighed as he walked over to his desk.</p><p>"What my brother asked me to do."</p><p>***</p><p>Julie was beside herself with excitement. More than half an hour had passed since Anna left with Captain Levi, and she never returned. The girl went through all the most terrible thoughts in her head, starting with the fact that he kicked her out of the castle, and ending with the fact that her corpse was thrown out of the nearest window. Looking back at those cold gray eyes, Julie wouldn't be surprised at either option. But the girl continued to hope for the best and reassured herself that they had no need to kill an innocent girl who had just escaped from the titans. She was, after all, a valuable witness. Yes, it's probably okay, she's just winding herself up. But despite all these attempts at self-hypnosis, Julie continued to walk nervously from corner to corner, biting her thumb.</p><p>Suddenly the door opened, banging loudly against the wall, and Julie turned sharply. Levi entered the room, carrying an insensitive Anna in his arms. Julie felt her blood run cold. The man walked over to the bed and then gently laid the girl down on the mattress. Julie immediately flew up to her, kneeling next to the bed.</p><p>"What happened?! She's alive?! She's all right?!"</p><p>From the girl's loud scream, Levi winced and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Sighing, he replied:</p><p>"It's okay, she just got nervous. She needs to rest."</p><p>Julie exhaled loudly in relief. Her heart was pounding like crazy and her hands were shaking. She carefully wrapped her two around the girl's hand. Anna is fine. It is most important. Julie had already turned to Levi to ask him what could have happened that Anna even lost consciousness, but the man had already left the room. "Okay, I'll ask Anna as soon as she wakes up." Julie sat down on the bed next to her friend, still holding her hand. Too much has happened in the past few days. The girl felt how tiredness was covering her, her eyes began to slowly close, but she persistently drove the dream away. She couldn't afford to sleep yet. First you need to make sure that everything is in order with Anna, that nothing threatens her. But the girl understood that she was losing this battle when her eyelids became heavier and heavier, the world around her was blurring, and the sounds were muffled. "Maybe nothing will happen if I take a nap for a couple of minutes." And Julie herself did not notice how she collapsed into unconsciousness.</p><p>She doesn't know how long she slept like this, but the loud sound of the door opening and the sound of heels on the wooden floor brought her back to reality. There was still a veil before his eyes, and his head was as heavy as a piece of cast iron. The bed sagged under someone's weight, and hands rested on her shoulders, squeezing tightly.</p><p>"Julie, what happened? I was going crazy with anxiety. How did everything go?"</p><p>The girl rubbed her eyes, and finally fully awake, she saw in front of her a small silhouette of Sina. She looked pale and worried as she continued to hold Julie by the shoulders. She, in turn, just sighed.</p><p>"I dont know. Your brother recently showed up here with Anna, who was unconscious, and said that she was fine, she was just worried. I don't know where he took her or why, but I think it was not easy for her."</p><p>Sina turned her eyes to Anna, who was still lying on the bed, not moving, and only by the measured swaying of her chest it was possible to understand that she was alive. The girl bit her lip and turned to Julie.</p><p>"Levi said he would take her to Erwin. Then he was gone for a long time, and when he returned, he told me to come here."</p><p>Julie looked at her in surprise. After Anna took herself to the shelter, the girl doubted that Anna would stay here at all. But she is glad that she did it. I wonder what she was able to learn from Erwin? Julie opened her mouth to answer, but a soft moan interrupted her. She quickly turned her head to the right and saw Anna rubbing her temples, frowning. The girl slowly opened her eyes, examining the room and trying to understand where she was. Then she looked at Sina and Julie. Those, not allowing her to say a word, immediately began bombarding her with questions.</p><p>"Are you okay? How did everything go? Did you find out what was in the letter? What did Erwin say? What were you talking about? You're staying?"</p><p>Anna only got even more headaches from such a stream of questions. She didn't even have time to come to her senses, so she did not understand almost half of the words. The girl shook her head slowly and raised her hand to be silent. They obeyed and fell silent, waiting for what she would say next. Anna took a deep breath and looked up at her friends.</p><p>"Everything is fine with me, my head just breaks."</p><p>The girl rubbed her temples again, trying to soothe this throbbing pain in the skull. Anna felt as if there were little gnomes in her head who were hitting with hammers right on the skull. Her friends gave her sympathetic looks. After a couple of seconds, Sina broke the silence.</p><p>"How was it?"</p><p>Anna looked at her, and then memories came back one after another. The girl remembered standing in Erwin's office under his gaze, how he opened an envelope with a letter, how he told about his brother, how she asked his name. And I remembered. William Smith. Her father. Anna shuddered. She understood that this was not just a coincidence. But I couldn't believe it. Her father is Erwin Smith's older brother, that is, Erwin is her uncle. But why did the parents never talk about him, never even mention him? The girl's head was spinning. What will she do now? Will Erwin leave her here? What's next?</p><p>Anna turned her gaze to her friends. They waited patiently, without rushing her or demanding an immediate response. The girl was grateful to them for that. In such a short time, they have already learned so well to understand each other without words. Anna remembered their long conversations in the shelter, how they chatted for hours about nothing and everything. Julie then asked what she was going to do. After all that she learned today, she only became more convinced of her decision.</p><p>"I… I think I'm Erwin Smith's niece."</p><p>The girls' eyebrows went up. Anna understood them perfectly. She herself was not yet completely sure that this was not all the delirium of a madman. The girl sighed and told them everything she had learned herself. She spoke at length and in detail, without missing a single detail. After she finished, her friends rewarded her with silence. Anna sat with her head down, and did not dare to say anything else. After a long silence, Sina was the first to voice.</p><p>"It's great. You found a family, and now you will not be alone."</p><p>Anna jerked her head up to catch Sina's gaze. She smiled softly and encouragingly, and the girl wanted to cry. She nodded uncertainly in response.</p><p>"Yes, i guess."</p><p>Silence reigned again. No one knew what to say, so the girls just sat, sometimes glancing at each other. In the end, Anna could not stand the tense situation and, gathering all her will into a fist, resolutely looked at her friends.</p><p>"Julie, remember when you asked me what I was going to do after I met Erwin?"</p><p>She looked at Anna in surprise, but after a couple of seconds she nodded.</p><p>"Then I said I had no idea. But now I know the answer."</p><p>The girls looked at her expectantly, and Anna, sighing, quickly said:</p><p>"I want to join the Survey Corps."</p><p>There was silence. It seemed to Anna that time had slowed down. She kept waiting for someone to say a word, but Sina and Julie remained silent. Anna was already thinking that maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all, when suddenly two bodies fell on her with hugs, and the girl even cried out in surprise. She felt her friends hanging around her neck, felt their warmth, and her heart immediately felt better. Anna breathed out a sigh of relief and, smiling, hugged them back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Troubled trio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One more sunrise for the dawn<br/>
Call out to the afterlife<br/>
Can you hear us when we cry<br/>
It's all gone wrong<br/>
Heaven hold us<br/>
We've lost the sun</p><p>Raign-When it's all over<br/>
***<br/>
850 year<br/>
There was a smell of blood in the air, so thick and tart that the girl began to vomit. It seemed that after a year of service in the Survey Corps, she should have gotten used to it. But she couldn't. Her insides still tightened with terrible fear when she saw the titans. Her hands, gripping the blades, still trembled as they approached. A cry of agony still escaped from her chest when she saw how her friends, her comrades were devoured and only a couple of limbs remained of them, and sometimes nothing remained. No, she couldn't get used to it.<br/>
Sina ran along the roof, and behind her was an eight-meter titan, stretching her arms forward and not taking her eyes off her. The girl turned around and realized that he was already close and there was no time, so she decided to end him. She had already taken him quite far from the wounded soldier. The poor man's leg was hooked, and Sina was not sure if he could keep it, but the girl decided to do everything to save his life. At least there was another girl soldier next to him, so she can leave him there with peace of mind, while she herself will take care of this freak.<br/>
Grasping the blades firmly, she pushed off with all her strength and jumped to the right, dodging the titan's huge hand, which was reaching for the tasty prey. With the cables, the girl caught on a neighboring building, and then, turning back and making a maneuver, she secured herself on the titan's neck and, accelerating, pulled herself up to her, hacking with all her strength over the vulnerable spot. Hot blood spilled onto her face, flooding her eyes. The girl involuntarily hissed, at the same time trying to wipe her face with her sleeve and jumping from the falling dead titanium carcass onto the roof. When her vision more or less returned and the blood evaporated, Sina opened her eyes and saw that the second giant was walking right at her. The girl's eyes widened, her heart skipped a beat, and her hands involuntarily tightened their grip on the weapon. The girl did not even notice his approach, so concentrated on her previous goal. This one was smaller, about six meters tall, but moved much faster. Sina didn’t even have time to blink when the titan was a few meters away, stretching out his arms and opening his mouth. The girl jumped to her feet, holding her weapon in front of her, but before she could take a step, a figure swept right in front of her, waving its blades, and the titan's huge hands fell to the ground with a crash. At the same moment, a second figure appeared behind him and, with a cry, unleashed all its power on the giant's neck. Sina just stood and watched his body fall down. The girl sighed in relief, lowering her blades. When she heard someone land next to her, she turned her head sharply.<br/>
"Are you okay?"<br/>
Anna looked at her with her brown eyes. The girl was breathing heavily, her hands trembled a little from overexertion, she squeezed the handle of the blades with such force that her knuckles turned white. When Sina nodded, Anna visibly relaxed. She had already opened her mouth to ask something as another body had landed next to them.<br/>
"It seems that you are getting old, my girl, you cannot even fail two titans without help."<br/>
Julie stood and smiled slyly at Sina. After a cursory examination of her friend, the girl concluded that she was fine, she was just a little out of breath, like Anna, but on the whole they were both whole, which could not but rejoice. In this mission, many people have already died, including from their squad, so from the fact that her friends are alive and well and can even make jokes, Sina immediately felt relieved, as if a huge stone had fallen from her heart. She only smirked and snorted at Julie's remark.<br/>
"I could well have done it myself, but you didn’t give me time and interfered, so sad."<br/>
Julie just laughed and nudged her friend in the side with her elbow.<br/>
"Well, well, well, let's see how you would speak if you were in the stomach of a titan."<br/>
Sina was about to answer with something stinging, but Anna interrupted the girl.<br/>
"I don’t want to interrupt your argument, but we need to get out of here. It's not safe here, and we need to find your brother to report on the situation and find out what our next steps are."<br/>
Anna looked gloomy.<br/>
"However, as always, when it comes to Levi" thought Sina.<br/>
She was already tired of it. Throughout the year, they grab like a cat and a dog, but they always get it. Of course, there are no direct conflicts, but this silent threat that hangs in the air every time they meet with eyes makes the girl nervous.<br/>
"Almost a year has passed since that incident. One could already forget about it."<br/>
But no, they were both incredibly stubborn. Sina took a deep breath and closed her eyes. In fact, it was depressing. Seeing how people who are dear to you are ready to cut each other's throats, and there is nothing you can do about it. She many times tried to somehow defuse the situation, in a sense, even reconcile them, or at least make it so that they could be in the same room without mental violence against each other, but all her attempts were in vain, and this brought the girl in despair.<br/>
"Probably, they will calm down only when one of them is devoured by a titan," Sina thought bitterly.<br/>
She turned her gaze to Julie, who rolled her eyes and nodded. She perfectly understood what was the matter, too, but did not dare to say something. In the end, talking about something was useless. Anna is too stubborn and impenetrable.<br/>
The girls nodded to their friend, and they all went together to find the captain. Sina thought about how quickly time flies when you live every day with the thought that you could die at any moment. It's been five years since they have known each other, but the girls have become so close that it feels like they have known each other all their lives. They are no longer just friends. No. They are family. They went through fire and water together, training in the cadet corps, then a year of service in Intelligence. Not all of their fingers put together to count how many times they've been close to death. They are so used to each other that now, when one of them is not around, they feel uncomfortable, as if something very important is missing. This feeling is comparable to having an arm or leg cut off. They can no longer imagine life without each other. Sina is afraid to imagine what will happen to them if one of them dies. The girl always tries to drive these thoughts away, but facing death every day, it turns out to be quite difficult. Every time a new soldier dies, Sina involuntarily thinks that the next time it could be Anna or Julie. Or even Levi. She jerks at the thought of this, breaks through with a cold sweat. At these moments, she definitely needs to meet their eyes, to make sure that they are still alive. You need to take their hand to feel the warmth of their body. It has become an obligatory ritual, a necessity, otherwise you will simply go crazy. And now, Sina catches the glances of her friends, and those, as if having read her thoughts, are encouraging her to smile. They have long learned what is in each other's head.<br/>
It takes some time before they see familiar faces and rush to meet them. The girls go down to the ground, but immediately stop, not reaching a few meters, when they see what is happening.<br/>
On the ground lies a wounded soldier, and next to him sits Petra and tries to stop the blood, but from the huge red puddle around it is clear that she is doing badly. Tears are visible in the eyes of the girl, she desperately presses on the rag in her hands, now and then looking at the dying soldier. But this is not what Sina pointed out. Her eyes were fixed on her brother, who dropped to one knee next to the man. His lips move, they speak so softly that the girl cannot make out the words. Then the soldier slowly raises his bloody hand, and Levi, without thinking for a second, wraps his hand around it. Sina feels her heart squeeze and tears come to her eyes. Anna and Julie come closer and stand side by side. She feels the warmth of their bodies, and it becomes easier for her from the realization that they are with her. Julie takes her hand and Anna gently strokes her shoulder. This makes Sina even more tempted to cry. The girl sees Levi let go of the man's hand. Petra no longer tries to stop the blood, apparently, this is no longer necessary. They are just silent for a while. Then Levy slowly looks up and their gazes cross. The girl sees relief in her gray eyes, even if it was fleeting, but she noticed it. Because she sees it every time, after every mission. The same look every time.<br/>
Sina remembered the first time she had told her brother that she wanted to join the Survey Corps. She stood in front of him with her head bowed and not daring to even sigh. Levi, however, as soon as the word "Survey Corps" flew from Sina's lips, quickly and firmly said:<br/>
"No."<br/>
The girl raised her head sharply and exclaimed in despair:<br/>
"But I have already decided everything! I will step there and you will not stop me."<br/>
The latter sounded not very confident, and Sina herself understood this, but continued to stand her ground. She won't just sit back in the safety of the walls while her brother and her friends risk their lives on the battlefield. She can become strong, can fight with him, even if she perishes. She is ready for this. Levi continued to stare at her with icy eyes. His arms were folded across his chest, his fingers tense, and you could see how he was holding himself back from yelling at her.<br/>
"You have no idea what you want."  Levi hissed through teeth,  "These are not toys. The people behind the walls give their lives. And you will not wish such death even to the enemy, and you are just a child. You will only enter Survey Corps through my corpse."<br/>
Sina clenched her hands tightly into fists. "I won't give up until I get my way." Sina looked defiantly at Levi.<br/>
”I will do it my own way. If need be, I'll go to Erwin, but I'll join this damn Survey, whether you like it or not. This is just my choice.”<br/>
For a couple of minutes, the man was just silent, glaring at her. It was clear from him how difficult this conversation was for him. The girl did not know what he was thinking, but she even felt a little ashamed when she saw how he barely perceptibly flinched at her words. Sina bit her lip. Maybe she went overboard? But he himself forced her. The girl stood and waited for at least some answer. After what seemed like a huge amount of time to her, Levi sighed.<br/>
"I know I’ll probably regret it. But, apparently, you cannot be persuaded."  the man turned away from Sina and went to the window, after a few seconds he continued, "You will be in my squad, and no objections will be accepted. There I can look after you."<br/>
Sina felt her lips break into a smile. Without knowing what she was doing, she rushed forward and buried her face in her brother's chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.<br/>
"Thanks!"<br/>
Levi's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and for a second he just froze. Then Sina realized what she had done. A wave of panic began to cover the girl, her heart began to beat faster. She was about to open her mouth to apologize to her brother, but suddenly felt a light touch on her head. At first she thought she was just imagining, but then the touch became more confident and firm. She looked up and saw that Levi was looking at her with his impenetrable gaze, and his hand on the top of her head began to gently pat her, as if soothing. Warmth spread in the girl's chest, butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and her heart began to beat a crazy rhythm. Sina smiled at him with her most grateful smile. Levi just rolled his eyes and muttered:<br/>
”Why are you so happy? Do you think this is all fun? You just don't know what you're signing up for.”<br/>
But the girl ignored him, closed her eyes and simply allowed herself to enjoy this moment of unbridled happiness and peace. Then she really didn't know what she was signing up for.<br/>
Standing here now, in the middle of hell, and looking death in the face, she wondered if she had made the right choice.</p><p>***</p><p>Anna silently watched this heartbreaking scene. The girl is already used to this, although at first it hurts terribly, but over time this pain goes away a little, it becomes not so strong. Anna thought that perhaps her heart had turned to stone, but now she thought only of how glad she was that this was not one of her dear people. She's probably becoming selfish.<br/>
Her hand strokes monotonously on Sina's shoulder as her eyes remain on the man on the ground. She did not know him very well, as did many other soldiers, despite the fact that she had served in the Survey Corps for a year. Sina and Julie were her only close people. And Erwin. During this time, they managed to get closer, to which the girl was surprised, but at the same time insanely happy. Of course, they did not have such a warm and loving relationship as with their parents, but they took care of each other as much as possible, and that was enough for the girl. It was enough for her to realize that she was not alone in this world and that she had at least someone. Erwin always asks how she's doing. Sometimes she comes to his office in the evenings when he is free. Anna helps him with the papers, and the commander smiles gratefully. Then they sit in silence, drinking tea and discussing upcoming missions. Anna was surprised when he first spoke to her about this. After all, who is she, an ordinary private soldier, and even a novice. But Erwin just shook his head and said that any point of view can be useful and perhaps it will be the winning one. Sometimes it is difficult for Anna to understand what is in this person's head.<br/>
Erwin once asked about her parents. For the girl, this was so unexpected that for a second she thought what she had heard. But when Erwin repeated the question, Anna just sat there, silently staring at her knees, unable to utter a word. The man waited patiently, giving her the opportunity not to answer if it was too hard for her. But the girl thought that she herself wanted to tell him everything. She carried this load for so long, she was afraid to even remember it. Every night I woke up screaming, sheets wet with sweat, and her face with tears. And the worst thing was that there was nothing she could do about it. The pictures of that terrible day were constantly spinning in her head, like an obsession, the voices of her parents, their last words still sounded in her ears, and their faces were still in front of her eyes. Sometimes a girl could just freeze halfway, and then someone had to shake her shoulder to get the girl out of her stupor. She lived every day in this nightmare, in that very day, and felt like she was going crazy.<br/>
Then she told Erwin everything. She spoke for a long time and emotionally, choking on tears, and simply could not stop. She felt all despair come out of her, the weight falling from her shoulders. The man listened without interrupting, and in the end, when the girl's words could no longer be made out because of sobs and hysterical sobs, he simply hugged her with one hand, and Anna's head fell on his shoulder, and they spent the rest of the evening like this, she - continuing to cry, and he - silently offering his support. When she returned to her friends, they did not ask questions, realizing that now Anna needed to be left alone, for which the girl was incredibly grateful.<br/>
Anna sighed, looking at Sina, who was standing nearby. She looked as if she was ready to cry at any second. His lips trembled, his nose turned a little red, and his eyes glisten with unshed tears. For all the time that the three friends spent together, Anna realized that Sina was the most vulnerable of them, which was surprising, considering who her relative was. This little fragile girl, although she showed herself to be an exemplary fighter, in fact in life could shed a tear for anything, for example, because of a chick that fell out of the nest. Anna remembers how one day a girl near the intelligence headquarters picked up a stray kitten. He was small and thin, covered in dirt and abrasions. Nobody thought that the poor fellow would survive. But Sina dragged him to the castle, washed him, warmed him up, fed him, and then for two hours tearfully begged Levi to leave the baby, promising to take care of him herself. At first, the captain did not even want to hear about it, but after a two-hour stream of continuous tears, from which the man had already started to have a headache, he just sighed and said that if there was dirt from him, the captain would throw him out of the window with his own hand. Sina threw herself on her brother's neck, and Levi tried to free himself from his sister's suffocating grip for another half hour. Now a small black ball of wool, which is now far from small, has become everyone's favorite. The girl gave him the nickname Fury, because he was simply restless, rushed around the headquarters, as if dogs were chasing him, crashing into everything and everyone, and even he could bite his leg, they say, they were to blame. This little imp painfully reminded Anna of one equally aggressive and prickly person. Once she even caught Levy trying to feed the kitten, muttering something about the fact that if he told someone about it, he would immediately be on the street.<br/>
But on the battlefield, Sina turned into a different person. She did not hesitate to rush into the very thick of it, if someone needed help, her eyes became determined and hard. Sina never ceased to amaze her friend. Anna more than once caught herself thinking that at such moments she reminded her of Levi.<br/>
At the thought of the captain, the girl by inertia clenched her hands into fists, and the blood in her veins boiled. To say that they had a strained relationship with a man would be a very big understatement. They could not stand each other. Almost every conversation they had ended with Sina or Erwin or someone else having to practically separate them, because one of them could not stand it and was ready to rush at the other. Of course, the situation was complicated by the fact that Levi was the girl's immediate superior, her captain, but this absolutely did not stop her from casting murderous glances in his direction, and she received even more murderous ones in response. Anna was sure that if not for Cena, who always tried to extinguish the conflict or at least weaken it, and Erwin, who was the most important in the Survey Corps, Levi would have long ago expelled her from his squad, and maybe even fed her to the titans. And all because of the incident that crossed out all the good attitude that the captain had towards her until then, leaving only cold and indifference.<br/>
Anna remembers that day as if it were yesterday, and will remember it for the rest of her life. She had never felt so miserable and helpless before. Just one memory makes her shiver. This was their first foray into the walls, the first time she again faced the titans face to face, after so many years, but now not as a victim, but as a soldier, a hunter. It was her turn to shed blood. She had been waiting for this moment for a very long time, all the training she was simultaneously afraid and anticipating how she would rebuff these creatures, how she would show them what she was worth. That she is no longer that scared girl, but a trained and confident warrior. She was ready for anything. So she thought, and was cruelly mistaken.<br/>
Once there, behind the walls, without their protection, right in front of the sworn enemy, who inspired mortal terror, she could not do anything. Memories captured her, possessed her. Pictures, one after another, swirled in front of her eyes again, the smell of blood and pain reminded her nostrils and eaten into her skin, and the girl did not know if she would ever wash it off. She didn’t hear anything, she didn’t hear Sina lying there on the ground, surrounded by two titans, unarmed and scared to death. She heard only the voices of her parents, the sound of the ripping off of flesh and her own scream. The girl could not even move a finger, as if she were chained to the ground with heavy chains, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not free herself. She doesn't remember what happened next. The girl's legs could not stand, and she collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily, and tears rolled down her eyes. She doesn't even remember when she started crying. There was a crash, and two huge carcasses of titans fell to the ground, almost next to her, but Anna could not look up, fearing to see another corpse next to them. The corpse of her best friend. She closed her eyes tightly, palms clinging to her hair, and a half sob, half scream escaped from her chest.<br/>
The girl convulsively gasped for air, feeling that she was suffocating. She has no idea how long she sat there until she heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Raising her head sharply, she saw in front of her the figure of Captain Levi, covered in blood, which had already begun to evaporate. He held the blades in his hands and squeezed them so hard with his palms that his knuckles turned white, and his hands shook slightly with rage. Looking into his eyes, the girl shuddered. This look, filled with hatred and disgust, was imprinted in Anna's memory like a stigma. He drops his weapon abruptly and grabs the girl's neck, squeezing with such force that she was sure that it would break. Anna grabs his palm with both hands, trying to reduce the strength of the grip even a little, but it was useless. Of course, her strength was no match for his. The captain's face was so close that Anna felt his black hair tickle her cheek. Levy shook the girl and hissed menacingly:<br/>
"What the fuck are you doing? Titans want to eat your best friend right in front of your eyes, but you just stand and watch ?! What if I hadn't made it in time? Do you have any idea that she could have died because of you?!"<br/>
The girl could not answer, she just continued to cling to the captain's hand, squeezing her neck, on which she is sure later will remain bruises. If she survives, of course. Anna could not look him in the eye, it was beyond her strength. She knew that he was right, that she acted like the last shit, but at that moment, she just did not control herself. Tears poured even more from the girl's eyes. The man shook her one last time and pushed her roughly away from him. Anna fell to the ground and pressed both palms to her throat. She continued to lie there, unable to rise. Then the girl was ready to die right there, on the bare ground. If Levi had decided to kill her, she would not have resisted. But that did not happen. The man just turned away from her and, without looking at Anna, said:<br/>
"With yourself you can do what you want, I don't fucking care. But never dare put the lives of your comrades in danger."<br/>
After spitting it out, he left, and the girl remained there, listening to his steps. After some time, Julie found her, bombarding her friend with questions if she was okay, if everything was fine, seeing what condition she was in. Anna did not answer, she was silent all the way back, although her friends tried to talk to her. The girl was even afraid to look at Sina, she was ashamed, bitter, and she thought that if she met her eyes, she would not be able to stand it and would ask her to slaughter her. Back in their rooms, they tidied themselves up, and then just sat in silence, not knowing what to say to each other. Sina told Julie what happened, but she did not dare to be the first to start a conversation, believing that Anna needed to be given time. So they sat in silence, listening to the wind outside the window. But then Anna could not resist. She looked at Sina and with dry lips, whispered barely audibly:<br/>
"Forgive me, Sina ..."<br/>
For a second, silence reigned, and Sina thought that apparently Anna would not say anything more, but then a sob was heard, and looking at Anna, she saw that she was holding her mouth with her hand, trying to drown out her sobs, and tears were streaming down her face.<br/>
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm such a terrible friend, I didn't want to, please, Sina, please, forgive me!"<br/>
She kept talking and talking and could not stop, as if something had collapsed inside her. She screamed how sorry she was, how guilty she was, that she never wanted it to be. This time, Sina could not stand it. She felt her eyes fill with tears too. The girl jumped up and, running up to Anna, wrapped her arms around her shaking shoulders.<br/>
"It's okay, it's okay, Anna. I'm not mad at you, do you hear? It's okay, it's not your fault."<br/>
She whispered those words to her over and over, rocking her like a child and stroking her hair while she buried herself in the crook of her neck and wept out all the pain and despair. Then Julie joined them. They sat there until nightfall, hugging each other and listening to each other's breathing.<br/>
When Anna calmed down and came to herself, they sat down on the bed, and the girl told them everything. Why did she behave like that on the mission, why she froze and could not do anything. The friends listened in silence, without interrupting, holding her hands, making it clear that they were there and that they would support her if she needed it. When it was dawn, Julie was the first to say it was time to go to bed. The girls did not argue, feeling how fatigue was taking over.<br/>
Since then, Anna vowed that this will never happen again, and the girl did not think that she could survive it again. She still begs for Sina's forgiveness, even though it's been almost a year. A friend, of course, denies it, says that she has forgiven her a long time ago, but realizes that Anna is getting better from the opportunity to apologize again. As for Captain Levi, he never forgave her. And Anna fully understood him, she, too, in his place would not forgive the person because of whom her sister, the only native person in the whole world, almost died. But there was still hope in her heart. Anna really kept her promise. On the next sortie, she was already much calmer, this horror was no longer there, the voices of her parents died down, even if they did not disappear completely. Of course, fear was, and always will be, but now she can control it. One has only to remember Sina's face twisted with horror and Levi's eyes filled with disgust. She will never put anyone in jeopardy again, it is better to die herself. Anna coped with all the tasks, more than once helped save others, while she was almost eaten, but all this was useless. The captain looked at her as he had that day. At first she was in despair, did not know what to do. She struggled to get him to treat her like a normal person and not like a lump of dirt stuck to his shoe. She was called on the most dangerous missions, which terrified her friends, but Levi simply ignored her. The girl did not know if this was due to distrust, or if he just hated her so much. Anna did not understand why his opinion was so important to her. Before, she didn't care what others thought of her. But the captain's approval became vital to her. Show him that it was a mistake, that she is not, that he can trust her. That she was ready to give her life for him.<br/>
But, of course, this did not lead to anything. He simply ignored her presence as if she didn't exist. Now it started to really piss Anna off. She went out of her way to seek forgiveness, even tried to apologize, which caused even more trouble. The girl got angry. Then she inadvertently began to provoke him into a conflict. She violated orders and acted in her own way, she could afford a couple of harsh expressions. The captain, of course, could not ignore such behavior, no matter how much he wanted it. He forced her to clean twice as much, gave her extra workouts as a punishment, after which she, before reaching the bed, fell and fell asleep right on the floor. Her friends considered her a suicide, but the girl did not care. Let him load her with work to death, she will get her way.<br/>
Now Anna stands and watches as Levi walks towards them. His eyes are fixed on his sister, completely ignoring everyone else. Anna felt her teeth grit. Once in front of them, he examined Sina, checking to see if she was injured. After making sure that there were no visible injuries, the man asked in a firm voice:<br/>
"All right?"<br/>
Sina, straightening up and assuming a serious expression, replied:<br/>
"Yes, it's all right."<br/>
The captain nodded, and then threw a quick glance in the direction of Anna. It was so fast that the girl wondered if it seemed to her. Levi turned to Sina again:<br/>
"Had some problems?"<br/>
Anna realized that she could no longer be silent, because the captain was clearly hinting at her. The girl barely restrained herself so as not to roll her eyes and smack him well on his haughty face. Without giving Sina time to answer, she said sharply:<br/>
"Everything went according to plan, sir, we're fine, thanks for asking."<br/>
There was silence for a couple of seconds, and Anna felt the temperature around them plummet to almost zero. Or did it just throw her into the cold? Next to her, the girlfriends held their breath, anticipating the storm. Levi slowly turned his gaze to Anna, and she didn't like that look at all. The girl wondered what she had to do today? Cleaning the stables? Or maybe scrubbing stairs?<br/>
"I asked you, Smith?"<br/>
Anna swallowed, but tactfully remained silent. No matter how crazy masochist, according to her friends, she was, but the girl knew how to stop during. Still, she still wanted to live, at least a little. She had already opened her mouth to answer the captain, but there was a clatter of hooves from behind, and Levi, without hearing the answer, turned towards the approaching soldiers, led by Erwin. Anna involuntarily exhaled. At least the captain wouldn't cut her throat in front of him. Stopping the horses, the commander looked at Levi. He looked serious, eyebrows furrowed, lips compressed into a thin line. The girl didn't like it right away. This usually did not bode well. Erwin's voice sounded like a thunderclap.<br/>
"Retreat."<br/>
Levy looked displeased.<br/>
"Retreating? We haven't even done half of everything. Were all these deaths in vain?"<br/>
The girl felt that something was not right. Erwin would not have canceled a mission that was far from complete without good reason. Anna was even afraid to imagine that this could happen.<br/>
Erwin, turning slightly to the side, said:<br/>
"The Titans started moving north, straight into the city."  At this moment, Anna's heart skipped a beat. "The moment five years ago is being repeated. City residents may be in danger. There is a possibility that the Titans managed to break the wall again."<br/>
Anna felt the earth recede from under her feet. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Memories one after another came to life in her mind, she felt a drop of cold sweat trickle down her forehead. There was only one word in her head. Again.<br/>
The friends noticed how Anna tensed at Erwin's words, how her eyes widened with fear, and all of her shook with a small tremor. Sina put her hand on the girl's shoulder, and she relaxed a little, feeling the familiar warmth. All three looked at the captain.<br/>
"Fuck."<br/>
Levi said it so quietly that the girls barely heard. After that, he gave the command to saddle the horses. With a last glance at their captain, the girls hurried to follow orders. They understood that it would be a difficult trip and that they had to be ready for anything.</p><p>***</p><p>Julie was exhausted. In all her life, she did not get tired as much as during one sortie behind the walls. The girl was lying on the bed in the room she shared with Sina and Anna. She would never have thought that in the army, the usual three soldiers would be given a separate room, but obviously having a commander in chief as an uncle and a captain as a brother has its own bonuses. The room was not very large with three beds, a fireplace and one large wooden wardrobe. In the corner, near the window, was a vase of wildflowers that Julie constantly brings. Nothing superfluous, only the essentials. All the same, the girls did not spend much time here, or rather, only the evenings before bedtime and the night. During the day, they were in training, in the cafeteria, or God knows where else. But having a private room was still great. You can lie back in bed and enjoy the silence. Which the girl was doing right now.<br/>
She lay with closed eyes on her back, and Anna sat on her legs. The girls had been lying like this for a very long time, unable to even start a conversation. Suddenly the silence was broken by the sound of the door opening, and when Julie opened one eye, she saw Sina in the doorway. The girl looked tired, as did all of them. Fury followed Sina into the room. He practically never left the hostess, remaining her faithful companion. The kitten deftly jumped onto the bed, making himself comfortable there, apparently deciding that he would sleep here today. Julie put her hand on the small body, running her fingers through the soft black fur, scratching lightly. There was a loud purr, and a second later Fury was already sound asleep, clinging to the girl's leg. Sina quietly closed the door behind her and walked deeper into the room, straight to the bed, on which lay her friends and a black ball of wool. Looking at them, she said with a sigh:<br/>
"You look like shit."<br/>
"You too."<br/>
The girls answered at the same time, after which they smiled at each other. Such minutes were dearer than gold, and they tried to appreciate them, because who knows when else it will happen like this to sit together in silence, joke and laugh, chat and gossip. If at all it was necessary, they thought before each sortie. But now it was possible to relax at least for a while, and it was a huge relief, albeit a fleeting one.<br/>
Sina approached the bed and pushed Anna in the side with her knee, giving her a sign to move. The girl moaned in displeasure in response, but still moved, and her friend climbed onto the bed. Julie just smiled at the childishness. She thought of how lucky she had been to run into these girls on that unfortunate day when Wall Maria fell. If it were not for them, it is unknown, she would have been able to get into the Survey Corps, and even into the elite squad of Levi. Maybe she would have been caught a long time ago, and she would have already been married to some decrepit rich old man. Julie never told her friends about who she was, she just didn't find the courage in herself. And besides, she was ashamed. Listening to the stories of Anna and Sina, she felt like a child who knows nothing about life. One part of her understood that this was stupid and that girls would not care who she was or where she was from, they would understand her anyway. But another part of her was gripped by the fear that if at least someone found out, she would be immediately returned to her parents and freedom could be forgotten. So the girl kept her mouth shut. She decided that she would tell them when the time was right and she was ready. But until that time has come.<br/>
Julie often caught herself thinking about her parents and home. Even if she herself ran away from them, even if she did not agree with them, they still remained her family, and of course, the girl yearned. She was interested in what mom was doing, how dad was doing. In all five years, she had never heard of them, not even in passing. Her heart sank at the thought of her parents. She knew that she was not the most grateful daughter. Since childhood, she was surrounded by luxury, almost everything was allowed, as soon as she asked for something, and after a couple of minutes it was right in front of her. She knew that her parents wish her well, want a better life for her, but they simply did not understand that this was not what she needed. For five years, she hadn't heard anyone looking for her. Perhaps they resigned themselves to the loss of their daughter, they decided that she died of hunger somewhere, or she was stabbed to death in some dirty alley. Perhaps someday she will dare to appear in front of her parents, tell them what happened to her. If she stays alive.<br/>
The room became quiet again, and the girls simply lay half asleep. Julie felt her eyelids close. Her friends were nearby, warmth enveloped her from head to toe, and a little bit more and she would have fallen asleep if Sina's voice had not brought her out of oblivion.<br/>
"What do you think will happen now?"<br/>
Julie tensed, chasing away the rest of her sleep. She perfectly understood what Sina was talking about. When they at all times rushed to Trost, they were briefly informed about the matter. The cane did break through, just as they feared. The Titans burst into the city, and many soldiers died trying to protect the inhabitants. But even that was not what shocked them. It turned out that the hole can be repaired, and right now there is a mission to return Trost. Of course, the scouts did not believe them. It is impossible to get rid of a hole in a fifty-meter wall in such a short time. And what was said later, plunged everyone into such a shock that even the commander was speechless for some time. A 15-year-old cadet who can transform into a titan is able to close the hole with a huge boulder. When Julie listened to all this, it seemed to her that this whole mission was one continuous long dream, and that someone was about to wake her up, and she would just laugh at her dream as if it were a very stupid joke. A cadet capable of becoming a titan? Do they even understand what they are talking about? But time passed, but they still stood with their eyes wide open from shock and could not believe their ears. Then the girl remembers little, but she knows for sure that they were assigned to groups and ordered to follow the instructions of the commander. Julie looked at her friends, but they were in the same state of utter bewilderment. The girl realized that they had no choice but to follow orders. But it was hard to believe in the titan boy. Until Julie saw him with her own eyes.<br/>
He did not look like the average titan, muscular, with long hair, about fifteen meters tall and incredibly strong. He was carrying this huge boulder, and Julie literally saw his body bursting at the seams from such colossal tension. But he carried the stone anyway, stepping over other titans or throwing them aside. Julie began to think about the health of her psyche.<br/>
And when, after plugging the hole, the guy got out of the titanium, the girl refused to somehow understand this situation, because every attempt to explain what the hell happened now led to nothing, except doubts about her own sanity.<br/>
After that, they spent the rest of the mission clearing Trost from the titans, who managed to get into the city through the breach. There were a huge number of dead, Julie had never seen so many corpses in her life. It seemed to her that the whole Trost turned into one big grave. How long will it take now to put the city in order. Despite this number of victims, this was the first victory. Victory over an invincible enemy.<br/>
The girls were still silent, not knowing how to answer such a question. But after some time, Anna still broke the silence.<br/>
"Probably they will judge him."<br/>
The girls stared blankly at their friend. Julie's voice sounded uncertain.<br/>
"Whom?"<br/>
Anna shrugged her shoulders and, propping herself up on her elbows, looked at her.<br/>
"That cadet who turns into a titan."<br/>
There was a silence, and for a couple of minutes the girls just thought about what was said. Finally, Sina spoke up.<br/>
"But why? He did not harm anyone, on the contrary, he helped defend Trost."<br/>
To this Anna did not know what to say. Julie looked out the window. The moon had already risen and was shining so brightly that the girl, without lighting a candle, could see every button on her shirt. She sighed.<br/>
"People are afraid of him. It's not every day that you meet a person who can become a titan."<br/>
Anna decided to support Julie.<br/>
"Or a titan who can become human."<br/>
At this, Sina frowned. She folded her arms over her chest and looked firmly at her friends. The moonlight was reflected in her eyes, making them seem to glow from within.<br/>
"What nonsense? If he was a titan in human form or wanted to kill us, why would he help us?"<br/>
It was difficult to argue with that. Julie and Anna looked at each other and shrugged. Anna took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes wearily.<br/>
"In any case, it is not for us to decide. Soon there will be a trial, so they will decide what to do with it."<br/>
Sina seemed to be upset by this coincidence. Her head dropped, her shoulders dropped. Julie looked questioningly at Anna.<br/>
"Can we be present at the court? As witnesses?"<br/>
Anna answered her friend with a puzzled look.<br/>
"Why are you asking me? How do I know. '' Then her face changed, her lips spread into a grin, and her eyes sparkled conspiratorially. "But I think that if you ask Erwin well, he will certainly allow."<br/>
Sina laughed loudly, quickly covering her mouth with her hand, but still continued to smile. Julie threw an evil glance in her direction, to which Sina made a relaxed face, as if she did not understand what her friend wanted from her. Julie turned to Anna, but her face flushed treacherously, and hissed:<br/>
"Why should I ask?"<br/>
Anna smiled even wider at her friend's scowl and rude tone.<br/>
"Oh, well, I don't even know. Maybe it's because you always get upset when you can't gaze at him for more than five minutes?"<br/>
After this phrase, Sina could not stand it and began to laugh so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks, her whole face turned red, and her hands clutched at her stomach. Anna soon joined her, and now they are both lying on the bed and gasping for breath. Julie tried to make an offended expression on her face, defiantly turned away from her friends and hissed:<br/>
"I hate you!"<br/>
But naturally Anna and Sina completely ignored her, continuing to laugh out loud. Julie's lips quivered, and in a second she was smiling with all her thirty-two teeth, shaking her head and trying not to let the laughs escape. It turned out badly for her, of course.<br/>
It's true that lately the girls have often caught Julie staring at the commander in chief when he walks by or during missions. Then her face seemed to shine, her eyes shine, and her cheeks were covered with a blush. Julie thought she was doing it discreetly, so that no one could see, but obviously she was wrong. The girl hung out for so long, watching Erwin with her eyes that her friends had to call her by her name several times to attract attention. Julie didn't know why this was happening. It's just that every time she saw him, her heart began to pound like crazy, and it immediately became difficult to breathe. This gaze of blue eyes mesmerized her, and she could drown in them. The soft smile with which he looked at her made the butterflies in his stomach do somersaults, and if God forbid Erwin touched her with his shoulder in the corridor, then Julie could not think sensibly for a week, thinking only about his strong, broad shoulders, or about strong hands with beautiful long fingers. And no, she doesn't look at his hands when he holds a piece of paper or squeezes the horse's reins. Absolutely not. Naturally, she knew all these thoughts away, because even thinking about it was stupid. He was the commander, and even the uncle of her best friend. There were too many reasons to stop these new, frightening feelings that had already begun to arise in her heart. She couldn't afford it.<br/>
When the girls calmed down and caught their breath, they decided it was time to go to bed, as the outing was difficult, and the return behind the walls is even more difficult. Julie was about to wish her friends sweet dreams, when suddenly her heart skipped a beat, and an invisible hand squeezed her neck. A sigh escaped her throat, which soon grew into two and three. A feeling of familiar fear gripped the girl, squeezed, like a vice, in her steel embrace. Julie grabbed the sheets with all her might, she felt the air leave her lungs, but she could not find a way back. The girl felt herself suffocate. She looked desperately at her friends, but they already understood what was happening.<br/>
With quick, sharpened movements, they climbed back onto the bed, Anna behind Julie, softly but persistently, arranging her on her chest, hugging her from the back and covering the girl's eyes with her hand. Sina sat down in front, taking Julie's hands in hers and squeezing them, soothing her. The girls easily rocked Julie back and forth, whispering to her that everything was all right, everything was fine, she was safe, she was not in danger and they were next to her. Anna and Sina began to breathe synchronously, slowly and deeply, encouraging the girl to repeat after them, and she involuntarily repeated, inhaling, then exhaling. Her breathing returned to normal, her body relaxed, and the fear went away. How she hated this fear. With all own soul.<br/>
When Anna and Sina first encountered Julie's panic attack, they were terrified. The friends did not know what was happening to her, why she suddenly began to choke. One minute she sat and calmly drank tea, and the next - she was already clutching her throat and gasping for air. Then she explained to them that she had such panic attacks since childhood and their cause is still unknown to her. This can happen at any time, any minute. It's just that suddenly you are covered with a wave of causeless fear, you cannot breathe, the whole body is shackled, as if a nerve has been pinched somewhere. And the worst thing is that you can't do anything about it.<br/>
The first impulse of the friends, when they found out about this, was to take Julie to Hange. Maybe she will help her, tell her how to deal with this. But the girl shook her head furiously, almost on her knees begging not to tell anyone, because if they find out about this, then she can say goodbye to the Survey Corps. The friends could not disagree, because panic attacks are not something that can be cured with drugs or pills, you can never guess when the next attack will start. But Julie begged them so much, promised that she was all right, that she learned to deal with it. Reluctantly, the girls promised to keep it a secret and have helped her deal with her panic attacks ever since. They have already worked out a plan of action to take in such a situation, and worked it out to automatism. The same actions, the same words, but they helped. No words could convey how grateful the girl was to her friends.<br/>
They sat together, not entirely sure that everything was over and Julie was no longer in danger. But after some time, the girl finally bounced back and looked at Anna and Sina.<br/>
"Thank you. You saved me. Again."<br/>
The girlfriends just smiled back.<br/>
"What else are friends for?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Court</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was one day<br/>
There was one night<br/>
There was one moment that changed my life<br/>
Plazma — One Life<br/>
***<br/>
When Anna joked that Julie needed to ask Erwin's permission to attend the trial, the girls could not even think that the Commander would really give them permission. Moreover, he said that it would be very useful, since they are valuable witnesses and their testimony may be useful. And now, standing in a huge courtroom, Sina is nervous. She did not know why she was so worried, but the girl felt as if they were going to judge her and as if it was her fate hanging in the balance. She shifts nervously, periodically glancing at her friends who are standing nearby, they do not look agitated, they only examine the assembled people with interest. And there were really a lot of people. The members of the Legion of Intelligence, the Garrison and the Military Police, many merchants, witnesses, even the ministers of the church gathered here, to which the girl was surprised. What does the Church have to do with military affairs? Sina exhaled loudly and nervously, earning her brother's warning look. The captain stood right in front of her, covering the girl with his body and blocking the view. His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyebrows are furrowed. He shook his head faintly, looking over his shoulder at the girl, and then turned away.<br/>
Sina swallowed.<br/>
All this situation pressed on her. The strange thing is that she felt much more comfortable on the battlefield than here in front of all these people, even if she was not the reason for their appearance in the courtroom. The girl felt a light touch on her hand, and turning her head to the left, Julie smiled encouragingly at her, as if feeling the discomfort of her friend. Although it was difficult not to feel it. They've been standing here for fifteen minutes, and during that time, Sina sighed about twenty times, constantly fidgeting and wiping her sweaty palms on her pants. If Levi saw this, she would be in serious trouble. Sina nodded gratefully in response to her friend's smile and looked forward. How long can you wait? Are they going to start?<br/>
Sina wanted to take another breath, but froze when she heard the sound of doors opening. She turned her head abruptly and saw the soldier enter the courtroom, leading the boy in front of her. Then Sina thought that she really looked like a boy. His big frightened eyes dart across the room, his hands are shackled behind his back, it was seen how he was shaking. For a split second, Sina's gaze meets his, and the girl flinches. She had never seen such beautiful eyes as his. The girl does not even know how to describe their color, it is so unusual. Blue-green, bright and rich, like the most expensive gem.<br/>
The girl sees how the young man kneels and is chained to a metal post, like a mad dog. Her palms are involuntarily clenched into fists. Suddenly, a loud, low voice is heard, which interrupts her thoughts, and she turns towards the judge.<br/>
"So, we begin. Your name is Eren Yeager, right? You are the soldier who swore to lay down your life for the King. Is that correct?"<br/>
Sina looks at Eren and sees him trying to cope with fear and control his emotions. His voice sounds confident, despite the excitement and he says without hesitation:<br/>
"Yes, sir."<br/>
The judge carefully examines the young man, and Sina is relieved to notice that there is no disgust or contempt in his gaze, but only fatigue and barely noticeable curiosity.<br/>
"This is an exceptional case. Our laws do not provide for the solution of such issues, so we called a general court. But I will make the final decision. We will have to decide whether you live or die. Do you have something to say?"<br/>
At these words, Eren flinches, but gives no other reaction. His voice remains as firm as before.<br/>
"No, sir."<br/>
The judge nods. Sina feels a chill run down her spine at the words that Eren may be killed. The girl does not know why, but she does not want this boy to die. She looks at him and sees a frightened man, no, a child. How old is he, 15? After all, he only recently was a cadet, just yesterday he started service. Sina remembers herself when she just finished her studies. She was inexperienced, with a heart full of hopes and dreams, confident, she was a child. And even now, a year later, after all the nightmares she saw, after all the broken hopes, she feels like a newcomer compared to others. And this boy, who can he harm? Yes, he has an unusual power, he can turn into a titan, but if he wanted to destroy humanity, would he help to recapture Trost? Why would he need this if he is our enemy? Sina didn't believe it. She sensed in her gut that he was an ally of humanity. And her sixth sense has never let her down. The judge's voice brought Sina out of her inner monologue.<br/>
“It's good that you're serious. Let me be straight. The existence of people like you is recognized as impossible. If we announce your existence to people, it will undermine the foundations of society and deprive people of confidence. The task of the court is to decide who is responsible for you. Military Police  or Survey Corps. I now give the floor to a representative of the Military Police."<br/>
The man directly across from him nods to the judge and casts a quick glance at Eren. Blue does not like this look, as does the representative of the Military Police. The man clears his throat and, in a loud, almost screaming voice, says:<br/>
“I'm Nile Dok, commander of the Military Police. Our proposal is this: you need to immediately investigate the body of Yeager, and then destroy it. It is true that the power of the titans helped us in the final battle, but no one promises that in the future these forces will not turn against us. Perhaps now he is deceiving us with his meekness in order to destroy the remnants of humanity tomorrow."<br/>
Sina just couldn't believe what she was hearing. Are the Military Police crazy? What right do they even have to speak about this? They weren't even there in that battle and they have no idea what was really going on there. These damn cowards have never even seen a living titan in their lives! Why did they decide that they could just kill a man who risked his life for these bastards? Niall is interrupted by another voice, even more vile.<br/>
"Not necessary. He is just a parasite that has poisoned the sacred walls of the Lord. He must be killed here and now."<br/>
The girl turns her head to look at her friends. Julie just shakes her head in disappointment, and Anna rolls her eyes and twirls her finger to her temple. It's nice that Sina is not the only one who thinks this is complete nonsense. The judge interrupts the priest's angry tirade.<br/>
"Reverend Nick, be quiet, please. And now let's hear the proposal of the Survey Corps."<br/>
"Finally!", thought Sina, smiling triumphantly. "Now Erwin will express what he thinks to these idiots." The commander, without even moving, looks at the judge.<br/>
"I am Erwin Smith, the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps. Here's our proposal: we accept Eren into the Survey Corps, retaining all his rights, and return Wall Maria using his power. That's all I wanted to say."<br/>
Sina's eyes widen in surprise, and the girl herself almost cries with disappointment. “You mean everything? Was he joking now? " She looks blankly at Erwin, but he looks absolutely calm and at ease. A whisper is heard in the hall. Even the judge was a little surprised.<br/>
"It's all?"<br/>
"Yes, we can return Wall Maria using his abilities. I think the advantages of the proposal need not be explained."<br/>
The judge nods. Sina doesn't like it, absolutely doesn't like it. She hoped that Erwin would talk in detail about why it is so important to keep Eren alive, why it is necessary for him to join the Survey Corps, his role in saving humanity. And in the end, he just mentioned it, as if by the way, as if talking about the weather. This was not what she had hoped for.<br/>
"I heard you. By the way, where do you intend to start the operation? Pixis, I hope Trost's gate is securely sealed."<br/>
The man the judge named Pixis shakes his bald head and straightens his mustache.<br/>
"Yeah. It is unlikely that they will ever open."<br/>
Sina looks at Erwin again. His confidence calms the girl down a little, but some unpleasant feeling still remains. The commander again casts his voice:<br/>
" We will start from the settlement of Karanes in the east. And we will pave a new path to Shiganshina."<br/>
Suddenly a voice is heard from the crowd:<br/>
"Wait! Shouldn't all gates be walled up? The colossal titan destroys only the gate! If we strengthen them, the titans won't reach us again.<br/>
Soon some hell began. Shouts were heard from all sides, people interrupted each other, trying to shout down others. Sina looked at all this, and she had a wild desire to get her blades and cut a couple of throats that strained the most."<br/>
"Shut your mouth! With the help of the titan, we can repopulate Wall Maria."<br/>
"Why should we sponsor your hero games?"<br/>
For the first time during the trial, Sina heard Levi speak. He looked annoyed, his voice sounded menacing, and the girl even felt sorry for those who could incur his anger.<br/>
<br/>
"You talk a lot, bastard. Who said the titans will wait while you fortify the gate? By "we" you mean your stupid friends with whom you are going to fatten? Can't you see, people are starving because we don't have enough land."<br/>
Sina thought again how proud she was of her brother. She has never seen a more daring and determined person who is not afraid to express what he thinks. Sina looked at Anna and Julie again and realized that they were thinking the same. The girl smiled.<br/>
"We just think that if we seal the gate, we will be safe ..."<br/>
"Stop being daring! How dare you even think of doing this with the sacred wall of the rose given to us by God! Are you looking at the greatness of the Walls that is beyond human comprehension and still cannot see?"<br/>
The girl felt her eye begin to twitch. Who even let this freak in here? Sina has nothing against religion or the Church, and she is a believer herself, but this person simply does not understand what complete nonsense he is talking about. The judge bangs his palm on the table, urging people to shut up.<br/>
"Argue about your beliefs and views elsewhere. Yeager, let me ask you: can you fight for humanity as a soldier and also use the power of a titan?"
Eren leaned forward and spoke loudly and confidently:<br/>
"Yes I can!"<br/>
The judge did not look convinced. He took the papers in his hand and, lowering his eyes to them, continued:<br/>
"But from the report on Trost it is said: "he swung at Mikasa Ackerman right after he turned into a titan." Is Mikasa Ackerman here?"<br/>
Sina's heart skipped a beat. She didn't know for sure if it was because of the news that Eren in the guise of a titan was trying to kill someone, or because she heard a familiar name. The girl looked at Levi, but even if he was surprised, he did not show anything. Sina  glanced at Eren, who looked as surprised, even shocked as she did. A girl's voice came from somewhere to the right:<br/>
"Yes it's me."<br/>
"Is it true that Yeager attacked you after the transformation?"<br/>
Sina froze, waiting for an answer. She practically did not breathe, afraid to hear the answer. Is he really not who he claims to be? No, Sina  shook her head. Most likely, he simply did not control himself. Who knows what happens to a person when he becomes a titan. In the end, he helped everyone, sealed the gates, so he is not an enemy. Sina refused to believe otherwise. After a long pause, Mikasa nevertheless reluctantly replied:<br/>
"Yes it's true. But also, earlier, he saved my life twice in titan form. I ask you to take these facts."<br/>
Sina immediately relaxed and breathed out relief. But she did not rejoice for long, as the voice of Nile Dok sounded next:</p><p>"Wait! I consider this testimony to be biased, it cannot be accepted in court. As a child, Mikasa Ackerman lost her parents, and was adopted into the Yeager family. However, we found some surprising details regarding these events. At that time, Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman were 9 years old. They killed three kidnappers. You may call it justified self-defense, but I feel a lack of elementary humanity in their actions. Can we trust him with the fate, reserves and strengths of all mankind?"<br/>
Sina saw the situation spiral out of control and fear take over. People were talking, looking warily at both Eren and this girl, Mikasa. In the courtroom, complete chaos began again, until Eren's loud and loud cry echoed throughout the courtroom.<br/>
"Stop! I may be a monster, but Mikasa is not to blame! You are wrong. If strong people don't fight, then who will be? If you are so afraid to fight for your lives, then don't bother me! You cowards!"<br/>
After that, the room plunged into silence, but after a couple of seconds, the weapon was erected and aimed at Eren. The guy realized what a mistake he made now, but it was already too late. "If something is not done now, it will be too late, he will simply be shot!" Sina was feverishly wondering what to do, but before she could blink an eye, there was a loud blow and Eren's scream. Sina  didn’t even see how Levi jumped off, and now he was already standing next to him, knocking all the shit out of him. No one dared even move, everyone just stood and watched the blows pouring on the poor guy, blood flowing from his nose, dripping onto the marble floor, and he could not even protect his head, because his hands were chained behind his back.<br/>
“Stop it, Levi,” the girl said almost in a whisper.<br/>
Sina's heart sank as a painful groan escaped the boy's chest, more blood gushed out, staining Eren's shirt and pants.<br/>
“Stop it, please, that's enough,” Sina said even more quietly, as if reading a prayer.<br/>
The girl did not know how much time had passed, maybe a couple of seconds, or maybe a couple of hours, but she knew for sure that she could no longer stay away. Sina jumps over the fence with one lightning movement and runs to her brother, who has already swung to strike, but the girl abruptly grabs him by the forearm.<br/>
"Enough!"<br/>
She herself was surprised at how harsh her voice sounded. Her fingers were still clutching Levi's arm as he slowly turned to look at her. At first, there was such surprise in his eyes that she had never seen on his face, and then it quickly gave way to anger. His gaze burned right through her, the vein in her neck swelled with tension, and Sina thought for a second that now the fate of Eren would overtake her and that they would beat all the shit out of her. Levi's silence was even more frightening, as if it were the calm before the storm. But Sina decided not to wait for the captain's verdict, but let go of his hand and turned to the judge.<br/>
"Your Honor, let me speak!"<br/>
The judge looked surprised, as did everyone in the courtroom. She glanced at Erwin, but he didn’t show his shock, only a slight frown. Then she turned her eyes to her friends, and they looked like they saw a ghost. "Perhaps they will see him in the near future, after Levi has dealt with me." Sina turned towards the judge, but he said nothing, just nodded. Words poured out of her by themselves, she did not even understand what she was saying, but she could no longer stop.<br/>
"Your Honor, Eren Yeager is an exceptional person who is perhaps the only one in the whole world. Fate gives us a chance, and we will be stupid if we do not take advantage of this. I personally saw the strength of this young man, and it is truly colossal. With this power, we can save a huge number of lives without putting them at mortal risk. We can return Wall Maria, and now this is our main task, for reasons that, I think, are clear to everyone here. Yes, Eren's forces are unstable and unexplored, and we found out that he cannot completely control them, but now we are convinced that Captain Levi is quite capable of holding him. He can always kill Eren, or at least stop him if there is a threat. In addition, I want to note that if Eren really wished harm to humanity, you and I would already be dead. He could have turned into a titanium long ago and wiped us off the face of the earth. But he didn't. Throughout the battle for Trost, all he did was help us. Now I want to ask a question. What do you think are our chances of surviving without Eren? We were only able to close the hole with his help. Where is the guarantee that the Colossal and Armored Titans will not show up today and break the next gate? If this happens, we have no chance. But with Eren the situation is changing. He is our only trump card, and without him humanity can disappear completely."<br/>
There was a silence. Sina was breathing heavily after her speech, and she herself did not believe what she had just done and said. She didn't dare turn and look at Levi, nor dared to look at Erwin. After a long pause, the silence was finally broken by the Commander.<br/>
"Judge, I have a proposal."<br/>
The man looked at Erwin and nodded, allowing him to speak.<br/>
"I'm listening."<br/>
"Eren's power has many unknown and unexpected properties. She is extremely dangerous. So why don't we put Eren under the command of Captain Levi and send them on a mission behind the wall? Whether Eren can control his power and whether his humanity can prevail will be decided at the end of the mission."<br/>
The judge looked at the captain.<br/>
"Can you handle it, Levi?"<br/>
Sina held her breath. She was afraid that her brother would say no, she was afraid that he would not agree with Erwin's proposal. But he's the strongest warrior of humanity. He has to handle it. Sina believed in him. She heard Levi sigh behind her.<br/>
"I can kill him. If there is any problem, I will stop it."<br/>
The girl counted a second. Right now, Eren's fate will be decided. Her heart was pounding, her hands were shaking, only one word was spinning in her head "Please, please, please!" After, it seemed to her, a huge amount of time, the judge said:<br/>
"Resolved."<br/>
Sina breathed out a sigh of relief, her lips widening into a smile. She quickly raised her head and looked at her friends. Julie smiled and thumbs up, and Anna ran a finger down her throat. And only now Sina realized what awaited her further. The smile faded as she slowly turned to her brother, who was still standing behind her. One had only to look at him, and the girl felt the cold chill to the bone. He said in a low, low voice:<br/>
"You're in big trouble."<br/>
Sina could only hope that he would not kill his own sister.</p><p> *** </p><p>"Have you thought a little about what you did?"<br/>
Sine stood in Levi's office, and the captain sat at the table, looking reproachfully at her. After she didn't answer, the man sighed and stood up. He walked slowly around the table and stood directly in front of her, crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer. The girl did not know what to answer him. Perhaps she hadn't thought. Her body seemed to move by itself, her brain refused to think. She herself was frightened of what she did, not expecting such determination and recklessness from herself. But the only thing she knew one hundred percent was that she had no regrets. She had saved this boy's life, or at least helped, and she was incredibly proud of herself. Let Levi chastise her as much as she pleases, she still thinks she did the right thing. Sina raised her head and looked at her brother.<br/>
“I had to stop you before you killed him right there in court. Then there would be no one to judge."<br/>
The captain tensed, his lips compressed. He clearly did not like this answer, but the girl had no other. It was completely true. For a second, Sina  really thought Levi could kill him by simply not calculating the strength. His brother's voice was colder than ice.<br/>
"First of all, I am your captain, and only then your brother. Even on the battlefield, if a situation arises <i> when I have to choose between you and the whole squad, I will choose the squad </i>, because it is my duty. You have no right to behave like that. What you did was an insult. This shows that the words and actions of your captain are empty phrases for you and that you do not respect me."<br/>
His every word cut right to the heart, but Sina knew that what he was saying was true, despite the fact that it hurt like hell. They were in the army, this is the order here, here first of all you need to obey. She is an ordinary private soldier, and he is her captain. Nobody cares about their blood relationship, because here it does not play any role.<br/>
"You know that there is no person whom I would respect more than you, Levi."<br/>
Tears came to her eyes, but the girl did her best not to let them pour from her eyes. She didn't want to be weak, she knew what she was doing when she joined the Survey Corps. Sina didn't know what else to say, so she just stood there in silence, looking at the floor. Levi continued:<br/>
"I thought you trusted me. Do you really think that I would kill an innocent person?"<br/>
At these words, Sina shuddered. Indeed, how could she think that? This is her brother, she has known him for several years, she has served under his command for a year. Why did she think so? She is the fairest and noblest person she knows. The girl could not hold back the only tear that still rolled down her cheek. She drew in a breath and closed her eyes.<br/>
"Forgive me. This will not happen again."<br/>
Levi said nothing. Sina felt a warm hand resting on her head. The man patted her on the head.<br/>
"Don't make me worry about you."</p><p>***</p><p>When Sina returned to her room, Anna and Julie were already waiting for her there. The friends were sitting on the bed, and as soon as they heard the sound of the door opening, they jumped up and ran to Sina.<br/>
"Well, how did it go?"<br/>
The girl just winced and sighed.<br/>
"As you can see, I'm alive."<br/>
The girl only now noticed that it was already quite late. The sun had long since disappeared behind the horizon, the sky was strewn with stars, and the moon shone so brightly that the room was as bright as day. Sina went to the bed and collapsed onto it, wanting to just go to sleep and not wake up for at least a week. After everything that happened in court, she was exhausted, and after talking with her brother, she felt as if she could pass out at any moment. They have been cleaning the whole day, cleaning the lock from floor to ceiling, and Sina knows that Levi's demands are such that any workout seems like a walk compared to cleaning. Therefore, the girl spent almost all the time on her knees, scrubbing the floor until it became so clean that you could see the reflection in it. Sina thought and realized that she hadn't heard of the titan boy all day. I wonder where he is now? The girl raised herself on her elbows and looked at her friends.<br/>
"By the way, is Eren okay?"<br/>
Anna and Julie looked at each other. They both shrugged and sank down onto the bed after Sina. Anna was the first to vote:<br/>
“All things considered, I'd say he's fine. But we didn't see him."<br/>
Sina nodded. She is glad that he is doing well. The girl could not imagine how she would behave in his place. He's probably lonely. He was separated from his friends, he doesn't know anyone here, and they look at him like a monster. Even if he got into the most elite squad, but at what cost? The girl covered her eyes with her hand.<br/>
“I hope they don't kill him at night in the barracks."<br/>
Julie turned to her.<br/>
“So he's not in the barracks. He spends the night in the basement. They even put a guard on him, in case he suddenly turns into a titan."<br/>
Suddenly, Sina got an idea. She was as crazy as what she did in court, but now the girl thought that she needed to do it. She sat up abruptly on the bed and looked at Anna and Julie. Her eyes were serious and determined. The girls immediately thought that this was not good.<br/>
"Help me, I want to see him."<br/>
Sina saw their eyes widen in shock, and she knew that what she had just asked them for was sheer madness. But for some reason, she felt like she had to do it. The girl did not know very many reasons for her actions, but nevertheless, she trusted her instinct. And now her instinct was saying, no, it was shouting to her that she needed to see Eren.<br/>
"You are crazy? First, how do you get rid of the guards? They won't let you in there alone. And secondly, why do you need this? You can see him tomorrow during training."<br/>
Sina shook her head. No, she needed to meet him today. Tomorrow they won't be left alone, Levi will be around all the time, and somehow she doesn't really want to talk to Eren in front of her brother. So today is just a great opportunity. As for the guards, she'll think of something. The girl looks imploringly at her friends.<br/>
"Please, please help me! I cannot explain to you why I need this, but just trust me."<br/>
Anna and Julie looked insecure and she couldn't blame them. They can get in big trouble because of this. Sina waited patiently for an answer. In the end, Julie said:<br/>
"Okay."<br/>
Anna looked at her in surprise.<br/>
"Are you serious?"<br/>
Julie gave her a determined look and smiled.<br/>
"You always help me during my panic attacks. I also want to help. If she is sure she wants to do this, then I will support her."<br/>
Anna looked first at Sina, then at Julie. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, the girl replied:<br/>
"You understand that if we are caught, we will be in big trouble?"<br/>
Both girls nodded. Realizing that it was pointless to argue with them and they would still do it their own way, Anna sighed.<br/>
"Okay, what's our plan?"</p><p>***</p><p>Sina and Anna stood at the door. It was very quiet, no sound came from the basement, and the only thing the girls could hear was their breathing. The only light source was a lone torch on the wall, which was ready to go out at any moment due to strong drafts. Anna turned her head and looked at her friend.<br/>
"Are you sure you want to do this?"<br/>
Sina said nothing and just nodded. It was obvious that she was nervous, although the girl tried to hide it. Anna leaned against the wall, right next to the torch.<br/>
"I'll wait here. Do it quickly."<br/>
Sina smiled gratefully at her friend and, mustering all the courage, opened the door. As she walked down the stairs, she ran over and over in her head what she would say to the guards. "The main thing is that they believe." Sina knew that she wasn’t lying very believably, but she hoped only for luck and her position. After all, she is in the most elite squad of the strongest warrior of humanity. The girl just hoped it would be enough. Turning the corner, she was right at the grate. Inside was Eren, who was sitting on the bed, his hands chained and the slightest movement ringing loudly throughout the basement. The guy looked at Sina in surprise, but she ignored him and turned towards the soldiers who were guarding the prisoner. The girl tried to look as confident as possible. She prayed that they would not see her trembling hands.<br/>
"I'm here by order of Captain Levi. I need to talk to Yeager, and you must wait outside."<br/>
The men looked doubtfully at Sina. They continued to sit in their places, and did not dare to leave the post. The girl began to panic. If she doesn't think of something, they will understand what the matter is, and then they will all have a hard time. She furrowed her brows and crossed her arms over her chest, as her brother does all the time.<br/>
"Should I go and report to the captain that you did not understand his order?"<br/>
It looks like this bluff worked, because the soldiers got up and walked slowly towards the exit. The girl listened to their retreating footsteps, and when she heard the thunder of the closing door, she exhaled loudly and almost collapsed to the ground with relief. A voice came from the back of the grating.<br/>
"That was a lie, wasn't it? Well, that's the captain's order."<br/>
The girl raised her head and met her gaze with amazing green eyes that shimmered in the twilight. She admired them so much that she did not immediately hear that they were addressing her. The girl smiled uncertainly.<br/>
“I hope you don’t betray me."<br/>
The guy said nothing. Sina felt uneasy. Why did she come here at all? This is a very big risk, she has already screwed up in court, and now she secretly sneaks into the basement of the most dangerous person in the world and lies. Also substitutes friends. Maybe leave before it's too late? But Sina does not have time to decide what to do next, because the young man decides to speak.<br/>
"Why did you come?"<br/>
Sina  thought for a moment what to answer her. She had no idea, and the girl realized that she didn't want to lie anymore.<br/>
"I do not know. I thought you were lonely here."<br/>
Eren looked at her in surprise. They were silent for a while. Sina didn't know what else to say. “Probably, we have to leave after all. It was a bad idea. "<br/>
“You were the one who stopped Captain Levi in court. When he beat me.<br/>
Sina did not expect him to remember her. For some reason, this pleased the girl. She smiled and nodded. Then Eren gave her a smile in response and, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck, looked at the wall.<br/>
"Thank you. If not for you, I would not have made it out of this hall alive."<br/>
A chuckle escaped his throat. Sina wondered what kind of boy he was. It's so easy to embarrass him, make him nervous. Although only recently she herself was like that. The girl wondered when the moment came that changed her so much? She cannot say for sure. Perhaps the first time before her eyes the titans ate a man. Or the first time she killed a titan. Hard to say. But the only thing that the girl knew was that she was no longer that little crying girl, although sometimes she could cry. Although only a year had passed in the service, Sina felt like ten had passed. She felt really old. And seeing this inexperienced boy in front of her, the girl thought how much he still had to go. The girl chuckled.<br/>
“You must have had a lot of problems because of what you did in court."<br/>
Sina smiled. This poor guy was almost sentenced to death, they wanted to open it, beat him half to death, locked him up in the basement, put him on a chain, and he worries about her? After all, she was not wrong when she risked her skin for him. She looked at Eren warmly.<br/>
"Not really. I have a special relationship with the captain."<br/>
After these words, the guy noticeably tensed, and his eyes lit up with understanding. He nodded, but said nothing more, and there was silence. Sina frowned. Did she say something wrong? Maybe somehow not so expressed ... And then it dawned on her. The girl saw that apparently Eren was thinking exactly about this. She started shaking her head violently, and her cheeks were flushed with shame.<br/>
"No, you idiot, I didn't mean it! He's my fucking brother!"<br/>
For a couple of seconds the guy stared blankly at the girl, trying to figure out what she had just said. But then he understood, and his face was also covered with a blush, and he barely audible whispered: "Sorry." Sina could not help but laugh, so hard that tears came to her eyes. After a few seconds of silence, Eren joined her, and they sat there, bursting into laughter, until it hurt completely, and the laughter was replaced by periodic giggles. Then there was silence in the room, and the only sound was the clinking of chains. After a while, Eren broke the silence.<br/>
"Why did you help me? Nobody believes me, everyone thinks I'm a monster. So why are you so sure of me when I doubt myself?"<br/>
Sina looked up at the wall. How to explain what you yourself do not understand? It’s as natural for her to trust her intuition as breathing or moving her hand. This is beyond words. It's just that some kind of sixth sense tells her from the inside that it is right, that she needs to do this, and not that way. She relied on this feeling all her life, and survived thanks to it. Perhaps this is some kind of superhuman ability or gift, but it doesn't matter, the main thing is that it always works, the girl didn't care about the rest. She turned her head and looked into those deep green eyes, in which you could see your reflection if you wanted to. Sina tried to convey with her eyes what she could not convey in words.<br/>
" I just know it."<br/>
Eren stared at her in amazement, then lowered his head. There was a smile on his lips, and Sina knew for sure that he believed her.</p><p>***</p><p>Anna heard the door leading to the basement open, and for a second she thought it was Sina. A thousand thoughts flashed through her head. “Was she exposed? Has she changed her mind? The plan failed? What now? How do you say Julie? " But instead of Sina, the girl saw two soldiers who looked at her with disbelief. Anna breathed a sigh of relief to herself and, nodding to the guards, leaned against the wall again, assuming a relaxed pose.<br/>
“I'll keep watch here, and you go while you have a snack.<br/>
Apparently, after the word "snack" the men stopped thinking about anything else, and they did not need to be persuaded twice. The soldiers hurried to hide around the corner, and Anna threw her head against the wall. Why did she agree to this? This is pure madness. The girl was surprised that they could go this far. Anna was sure that immediately after 5 minutes after Sina went down to the basement, she would be taken out of there under the arms and taken immediately to the captain. But it’s not evening yet, she thought, it could still happen. She just hoped that her friend would be wise enough not to stay down for long.<br/>
Anna thought that something strange was happening with Sina lately. She became thoughtful, serious, speaks little, and if she does speak, then only about this titan boy. And what she did at the trial, generally unsettled Anna. “And they called me a suicide when I got into a skirmish with Levi,” the girl thought. After that, she was prudence itself. Why did she risk it? For the sake of a person whom you don't even know, whom only seen once in her life? Sometimes, Sina's motives are impossible to understand. But she's her best friend. Therefore, so that this crazy woman does not conceive, Anna will always help her, take her side. After all, she owes her everything.<br/>
The girl wondered how Julie was doing. Will she handle her part of the plan? Although, she may not have to do anything. Erwin at this time is sitting in his office, sorting out papers and books. It seems to Anna that this person does not relax at all. "Well, Julie will help him with this." The girl grinned and began to listen. At first it was quiet, as if there were no one in the castle, only the periodic whistle of the wind and the sound of her own breathing. But then Anna discerned something else. Barely noticeable, almost elusive, but it was. And it got louder and clearer. The sound of footsteps. The girl's pulse quickened, she held her breath, so as not to betray her presence. "They might just walk by, whoever it is." She prayed that it would be so. But the steps did not fade away, but on the contrary became closer and closer. When the girl lost hope that the person would pass by, she was already thinking about something else. "Please, not him, anyone, but not him!" But of course, no one answered her prayers, and none other than Levi Ackerman came out of the corner. Anna almost groaned out loud at such luck. The girl thought that she was most likely cursed, because nothing else could explain such a combination of circumstances. Of all the people who were now at headquarters, this must be the one she least wanted to see. Lying to him was like fighting titans without a spatial maneuvering device. Absolutely useless and you know that you will lose in any case. This man saw right through you, read like an open book. "I'm in complete shit, I'm finished." Cursing Sina and Julie to herself for dragging her into all this and promising them a long and painful death, she feverishly figured out how to get out of this situation, although she knew perfectly well that there was no way out. The man, seeing her, frowned and looked around, but not seeing anyone but her, he again turned his gaze to the girl and headed towards her, like a predator approaches its prey. Anna tried to make her face as neutral as possible, hiding her panic, but she didn’t work very well, and Levi apparently noticed this. He stopped right in front of her, his gray eyes burning through her skin.<br/>
"What are you doing here?"<br/>
She cleared her throat, trying to take time to answer. The gears in her head were spinning like crazy, trying to come up with an answer that would not be too suspicious, but of course she blurted out the stupidest thing that can only be said in this situation.<br/>
"Nice evening, captain, isn't it?"<br/>
The man looked at her as if she were crazy. Anna felt a bead of sweat trickle down her neck. "What the hell are you talking about?" the girl thought to herself. Levi's tone became lower, his eyes narrowed to slits. The shadows that the torch created that fell on his face made him more dangerous, like an animal.<br/>
"I asked what are you doing here?"<br/>
Anna realized that any of her excuses, any lies would be useless. He has known her for a year already, and he perfectly understands when she is lying and when she is telling the truth. The girl had only one way out in her head. It is necessary to distract his attention, to switch him to something, thanks to which he will forget why he came here at all. Anna understood what she needed to do. What she always did and thanks to which she made herself problems. Provoke him. “Sina, you better thank me afterwards. You owe me." Taking a deep breath, the girl looked resolutely at the captain.<br/>
"I would like to talk to you."<br/>
The man looked questioningly at the girl, raising an eyebrow. Anna swallowed nervously. Usually this conversation does not lead to anything good. She either gets extra hours of training, or she takes out the rest of the day. The girl had already opened her mouth to say something, when laughter came from the basement, followed by the clink of chains. She froze, the blood in her veins froze. Anna hoped Levi might not have heard this, but of course he did. The captain turned his head sharply towards the door.<br/>
"What was it ..."<br/>
"Captain, you are a coward!"<br/>
The girl did not immediately understand what she had just said. Her voice sounded too loud for such a deafening silence. But after Levi froze for a couple of seconds and then turned his murderous gaze on her, Anna realized what she had just said. Her first impulse was to apologize before it was too late, but then she noticed that it worked. The man forgot about the sounds outside the door, completely concentrating on Anna and the desire to strangle her.<br/>
"Repeat."<br/>
Anna took on an even more decisive air, straightened and clenched her hands into fists. Since such a case has fallen, she will use it and tell him everything that she thinks of him.<br/>
"You are a coward. Ignore me as if I am nothing, as if I do not exist. When I try to talk to you about the time when I try to <i> apologize </i>, you are overloading me with work. Am I so disgusting to you? I know that I made a mistake, that I acted like a coward, but I corrected myself! I'm trying so hard to prove it to you, to show that you can trust me, but ..."<br/>
The man did not let her finish. In a second, he was already a few centimeters away from her, his hands on either side of her face, and the girl felt just like the day he grabbed her by the throat. Anna tried to shrink into the wall as much as possible, but this did not diminish the closeness between them. The girl felt his breath on her face, and goose bumps ran through her body. Was it fear or something else? She did not know. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest. They just looked at each other, Anna was unable to tear her gaze from his gray eyes, which hypnotized her. After almost an eternity, Levi spoke up.<br/>
"I don’t need your apology, nor do I need your attempts to prove something to me. I didn't ask you for this. Sina may have forgiven you, but this does not change the fact that because of you she almost died. These people make me sick. You can go out of your way, I will not change my opinion, <i> Anna </i>."<br/>
The girl listened and with every word, with every phrase, her heart broke. She so hoped, so wanted, that one day he would forgive her, accept her as a valuable soldier. Why is it so important to her? Why does she want to see those eyes looking at her with pride and warmth so much? Anna felt a lump rise in her throat, preventing her from breathing, and her eyes began to burn. She clenches her teeth with all her might so as not to scream or sob. She wants to hit him, so hard that he feels what she is. Maybe then she would feel at least a little better. Anna still cannot hold back tears, and they run down her cheeks, leaving salty and hot paths. She didn't even notice how the distance between their faces narrowed. The girl makes a convulsive sigh and whispers, practically exhaling into the lips of the captain:<br/>
"I hate you."<br/>
For a second she thinks that she sees pain in his eyes, but Anna is sure that it seemed to her. For a while they stand, silently looking at each other. Finally, Levi slowly pulls back and drops his arms. The girl becomes cold, as if someone took all the warmth from her body. The captain gives her one last look, which Anna cannot read.<br/>
"Finally, we agree on something."<br/>
The man turns and quickly leaves, his steps echoing down the hallway and into the girl's heart. She doesn't look after him because it hurts too much. Anna cannot understand why she hurts so much, why his words hurt so much? She has no answer, or she simply does not want to admit the obvious. That when she said she hated him, she was lying.<br/>
Her head falls back and hits the stone wall painfully, but the girl doesn't care. A little pain would not hurt her now. Tears continue to flow down her face, but the girl makes no attempt to wipe them away. On the left, the creak of a door opening is heard, and Sina  is already standing next to her, not knowing how to help her friend. Anna doesn't even turn her head, just stares blankly at the ceiling.<br/>
"You heard everything, right?"<br/>
She does not answer, and the girl understands that she has heard a lot. Anna just sighs, and despite Sina, turns towards the stairs.<br/>
"Let's go before someone else comes."<br/>
The girl feels that she cannot just leave it as it is, she wants to help her friend, to comfort her.<br/>
"If you want, I can ..."<br/>
Anna stops abruptly and says more rudely than she planned:<br/>
"I do not want to talk about it."<br/>
At the last word, her voice breaks, but the girl does not give her friend time to react and with quick steps is heading in the direction where Levi had just left. With a heavy heart, Sina follows her. Behind the girls' backs, the torch, flashing for the last time, goes out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Art of Anna and Levi:<br/>https://sun9-67.userapi.com/c855128/v855128411/223615/dkGGePyLI-o.jpg</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Out of control</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Am I brave enough?<br/>
Am I strong enough?<br/>
To follow the desire<br/>
That burns from within</p><p>Halestorm — I Am the Fire</p><p>***</p><p>Julie was about to embarrass herself. Again. The girl stood in front of Erwin's office door and nervously bit her lip, berating herself again and again for agreeing to all this at all. Her  heart pumped blood noisily through veins, ringing in ears. Cold sweat ran down her back, tickling unpleasantly on her skin. The lower lip was starting to ache from the fact that teeth were digging into it, and the girl was surprised that she had not yet bitten it off. Another deep breath escaped her lips. “Calm down, Julie. You can do it. Just come up with any excuse. It's not difficult." But who was she kidding, it’s hard as hell. Especially if you are going to deceive a person who is not smarter and more penetrating in the whole wide world, and he can guess the course of all thoughts even with closed eyes. "He's a genius, he'll figure me out, even if I just keep quiet."<br/>
Julie swore softly. Time was running out, she had to act urgently. But the girl continued to stand at the door, hoping that the decision would come to her on its own. Sina and Anna must have made it to the basement by now. Julie once again thought that she shouldn't have agreed to all this. Not only was it risky, it was not thought out yet. They just quickly sketched a plan of action, and immediately, without even properly discussing it, got down to business. Only now Julie realized how stupid this was. But now she cannot turn back.<br/>
Her friends are counting on her. One has only to remember Sina's pleading look, as the girl's heart sank, as if in a vice. She couldn't let them down, especially after everything they'd done for her. Julie was well aware that they were taking great risks in helping her with her panic attacks. Even just keeping this secret, they put their lives in danger during forays over the wall. At such moments, Julie felt like the most disgusting person on earth and sincerely did not understand why they even cared about her. They never reproached her for all the time, did not try to persuade her to tell everything, they just were there and silently made it clear that they trusted her. The girl once again thought how lucky she was with her friends. "But they don't even know the whole truth about me."<br/>
Julie wanted to tell them, she really wanted to. But every time something stopped her. Some kind of inexplicable fear, and she herself did not understand what she was afraid of. After all, they don't care who she is and where she is from, and all the more, they don't care how much money her parents have, she was one hundred, no, two hundred percent sure that even if they knew, it would not change their attitude towards her ... Still, she could not find the courage to confess. Perhaps it was shame, perhaps it was a desire to cross out her past and never remember it again. As if, if she doesn't tell anyone, no one will ever know about it, then it turns out that it didn't happen at all.<br/>
But deep down she knew she didn't want to forget. After all, she loved her parents, even though she tried to pretend they weren't. Parents are not chosen. Julie remembered how Anna told about the death of her mom and dad, and a shiver runs through the girl's body. One had only to imagine oneself in the place of a friend, to imagine in the place of Anna's parents, a lump rose in the throat and tears welling up in her eyes. Then she remembers that Cena didn’t even know her mother, and her father treated her like a lump of dirt, and Julie becomes sick. Yes, her mom and dad were not the best parents in the world, but they took care of her, pampered her, dressed in the best dresses, bought the most expensive toys. They loved her. In their own way.<br/>
Sometimes, lying in bed at night and suffering from insomnia, the girl imagined how her life would turn out if she stayed at home. Surely, she would have been married for a long time, in a new house, with new people, with a new surname, and the only thing left of her old life would be the desire to give up everything and run away from such a miserable life.<br/>
Yes, she missed her parents, even if she wasn’t sure they missed her either. She often recalled her mother's face, her always neatly drawn eyes, around which wrinkles had already begun to gather, red lips constantly spreading into an admittedly fake smile, impeccably tidied hair, that not even a single hair was knocked out of this ideal picture. Her face was a cold mask that she never took off no matter what. Julie saw the same expression on her mother's face every day. Icy look, artificial smile, flawless appearance. Nothing betrayed any emotions or feelings of this woman, if she had any at all. Absolute perfection.<br/>
The father was the same. Arrogant, untouchable, icy. He looked at you as if you were not even worthy to breathe the same air with him. Always perfect, impenetrable. Julie knew that he had wanted a boy all his life. But, to his great regret, she was born. The girl who cannot inherit the family business, who gets married and becomes a stranger, and who is good only because she can be successfully sold to some old, wealthy aristocrat. But then she took it and ran away, ruining all his plans. Another bitter disappointment.<br/>
Julie swallowed back tears and shoved all thoughts of her parents into the subconscious. Now is not the time to think about it, she has more important things to do. She lifted her head and raised her hand to knock, but the door swings open and the girl staggers aside. Erwin stared at her in surprise, still holding the door handle in his palm. Julie holds her breath as she catches her gaze on those blue eyes, which seem to glow with some kind of soft light in the twilight.<br/>
"Julie. Can i help you?"<br/>
At the sound of his voice, the girl freezes, and goose bumps run down her skin. Now it seems to her that her name, pronounced from his lips, is the most beautiful that she has ever heard. Shadows fall on his face, highlighting his cheekbones, and Julie tugs at herself not to stretch herself to see if they're as sharp as they appear. When Erwin says her name again, the girl realizes that she never answered him. Her cheeks are flushed, and she prays that the darkness of the corridor will hide it.<br/>
"Commander Erwin, I need to distract… talk to you."<br/>
The man raises an eyebrow, and his eyes bite into the girl, as if trying to read her thoughts. Julie is frantically trying to think of something. Why would a girl come to the Commander's office in the middle of the night when everyone is already asleep? From the obvious answer, which directly asks to get off her lips, she blushes even more. Obsessive images, one after another, appear in her head, and she drives them away with all her might. Erwin's voice sounds like a sentence.<br/>
"I am listening to you."<br/>
Her heart begins to beat faster, her palms are sweating, and a wave of panic covers her with her head. “Oh my God, what can I say ?! I never figured out how to justify myself! Damn, damn, damn!" Her breathing becomes confused, the air is getting worse and worse, her head begins to spin, and multicolored spots dance before her eyes. The girl sways to the side, leaning against the wall, and her hands cling to her neck. Julie sharply squeezes her eyes shut and tries to push the air into her, but a wall seems to have grown in her throat that does not allow the desired oxygen to pass through. She shakes, as if in a fever, her knees buckle, a little more, and she just collapses to the floor. She flinches at the touch of her shoulder and opens her eyes. Erwin looks at her worriedly and she has never seen such a confused expression on his face.<br/>
"Julie, what's wrong with you? You feel bad?"<br/>
The girl gasps for air, scratching her neck with her nails, and tears flow from her eyes, leaving burning paths on her cheeks.<br/>
“I-can't… b-breathe."<br/>
Then everything was like a fog. Strong hands grab her and carry her somewhere, she feels how the earth is leaving from under her feet, and in a second the girl sinks onto something soft. She cannot make out Erwin's face, bending over her, a veil obscures her eyes, turning everything around into one big blur. She hears his voice, but it sounds as if from afar, the girl cannot make out the words behind the rumble of a frantically pounding heart, ringing in her ears. Julie can no longer hear the door open, and a woman's voice sounds:<br/>
"Hey Erwin, I need to ask you something..."<br/>
"Hange! Come here, I need help!"<br/>
Erwin looks desperately at the woman who has just entered the office. She stands for a couple of seconds and looks at the Commander with wide-open eyes. She had never seen him so scared in her life. Even in the middle of a fight, he is always collected, calm and cold-blooded, even when his comrades die right in front of him. But now he looks like a trapped animal. Pale as snow that has just fallen, he is breathing heavily, as if he has run a considerable distance. The bigot was really scared at that moment. Then her gaze moves to a panting Julie on the couch.<br/>
Her face is wet with tears, and her body convulses, as if trying to throw off an invisible enemy. The woman, without wasting a second, flies up to the girl and falls on her knees in front of her. She gently and gently touches her cheeks, wiping away her tears, and looks into her eyes. Her voice is quiet and calm, as if she is addressing a child.<br/>
"Hey Julie. Can you hear me? Quiet, quiet. It's okay, it's okay. It's me, Hanji. Breathe with me. Inhale, exhale. Come on, inhale, exhale."<br/>
The woman repeats the words over and over again, slowly, without haste, soothing, gently stroking Julie's head. The girl begins to breathe more evenly, repeating after Hange's words, first inhales, then exhales. The woman praises her, breathing in and out with her. All this time Erwin watched them silently, not daring to even move. His eyes are riveted to Julie, and he sees her breathing slowing, her body relaxing, and her hands are lifted from her neck, which is now covered with scratches and fingerprints digging into delicate skin. Her eyes close, and they sit for a couple of minutes in complete silence, listening to the girl's measured breathing. Julie didn't know how long they sat like that, maybe 5 minutes, maybe an hour. She was afraid even to open her eyes and look at Erwin and Hanji, who were patiently waiting for her to finally come to her senses. Finally, the girl decides to look at them. They both still look worried, but the horror that was on Erwin's face is gone. Hanji lightly touches Julie's hand.<br/>
"How do you feel? Better?"<br/>
The girl nods her head wearily. After each panic attack, she feels squeezed out like a lemon, and she doesn't even have the strength to talk. But she realizes that now she cannot get out. The last person to know about her seizures is Erwin. Most of all, she wanted to hide it from him. But fate is a cruel thing. She never asks what you want and what you don't. "Apparently tonight will be my last night here." The thought sank painfully at the thought. She didn't want to leave. She did not want to leave her friends who became her family. She did not want to return to the life that she led several years ago. This is not her life, it was not her. She has gone through so much, learned so much, and now there is no turning back.<br/>
"Julie, would you please tell me what happened now?"<br/>
The girl swallowed, and her heart skipped a beat. So that is all. She can no longer lie, they saw everything with their own eyes. What will happen to her now? Would Erwin really kick her out of the Survey Corps? She looked at him uncertainly. His brows were furrowed slightly, but overall he looked as usual, calm and at ease. The bigot seemed unusually quiet. She continued to sit on the floor, holding Julie's hand. In her eyes, the girl saw the excitement that so rarely appeared on a woman's face. Julie took a deep breath and lowered her head, looking down at her knees. She did not dare to speak and stubbornly continued to be silent, her eyes burying her feet. After what seemed like an eternity to her, Erwin spoke up.<br/>
"Hange, could you get Julie some water?"<br/>
The woman looked at the Commander in surprise. He looked at her expressively in response, and she quickly nodded and jumped to her feet, already heading for the door.<br/>
"Yes of course. I will bring it now."<br/>
The sound of the door closing made Julie flinch. Now she was left alone with Erwin in his office. Until recently, she would have killed for such an opportunity, but now she only wanted to disappear in order to avoid this conversation at any cost. The girl naively hoped that maybe he would understand that she didn’t want to talk about it, that he would close his eyes to it at least once. But she knew she was asking too much. It had to happen sooner or later. All the secret becomes clear someday. Julie is just glad it didn't happen behind the wall during the mission. Erwin stood up and then slowly sat down on the couch next to her, carefully, as if afraid to scare the girl away. In his soft, velvety voice, he quietly said:<br/>
“Julie, please tell me everything."<br/>
How could she resist him? How could she say no when he asked her so tenderly, almost beseechingly? For the Commander of the Legion of Survey to ask for something, and even in that tone? It even sounds crazy. But nevertheless, he is here, sitting next to her, and looks at her with his bright, dazzling eyes, into which it hurts to look at how saturated they are, even in the moonlight. She felt a shiver run through her body, her hair standing on end, her fingertips beginning to tingle, but it was such a pleasant feeling that for a second Julie was scared. If his voice alone does this to her, then she is even afraid to imagine what would happen if ... Julie shook her head sharply. She didn't have to look in the mirror to find out that her whole face was flushed. What is she just thinking about? It is not right. “He is the Commander, and you are an ordinary soldier. He's her best friend's uncle. Accept that you will not succeed. " The girl's heart ached, but she found the strength to look at him. In the silence of the room, her voice sounded like a scream.<br/>
"These… attacks I have since childhood. I am used to them and I can handle it myself. Even in Stoh ..."<br/>
Julie stopped abruptly and held her breath. Her mouth was dry, her heart skipped a beat. How could she say that? She never even discussed it with her friends. Why now? Why exactly in front of Erwin? Today is clearly not her day. She glanced cautiously at the man, but he didn’t betray that he had noticed her oversight. Maybe he still haven't heard? Julie prayed that it was. But knowing the Commander, this is highly unlikely. He always takes note of every detail. Either she was just lucky, or he deliberately ignored her mistake. After making sure Erwin was not going to say anything, she continued.<br/>
"I coped alone at home. And now Anna and Sina are helping me, so it's easier for me."<br/>
Erwin frowned at her words, and Julie felt uneasy. She fiddled nervously with the hem of her sleeve, waiting for the man to answer. The deathly silence that hung in the room pressed on her, not allowing her to breathe deeply. Finally, Erwin said:<br/>
“Have you ever thought about the possibility of an attack during a sortie or, even worse, during a fight? You can die because you will not be able to protect yourself. Anna and Sina can also get hurt or lose their lives trying to protect you, while not worrying about their own safety."<br/>
Julie turned guilty eyes to Erwin. Of course she knew about it. She knew perfectly well that she was risking the lives of her friends, which put them in mortal danger, and each outing was even more frightening for her than for everyone else. Ordinary soldiers were afraid of the titans, but not she. She was afraid of herself. It was even worse. Because you know what to expect from the titans, you know what they are capable of. You have no idea what to expect from yourself. Will it start today? Or tomorrow? Will it be during the fight? Or during the retreat? She couldn’t predict when the next panic attack would overtake her. Julie was not afraid to die. She has long overcome this fear and is ready for any scenario. But she could not prepare for the death of her loved ones. She could not imagine that Sina or Anna could not become. That she will never see Sina smile again when she says good morning to her. That she would never again hear Anna laugh when she joked about her feelings for Erwin. That they never gossip again in between workouts. That they would never again complain about Levi, who again makes them run in the rain, in the penetrating cold, in one thin jacket. She couldn't imagine it. Julie could not hold back a tear that rolled down her cheek, breaking against the collar of her shirt. She was ready to die herself, but she would not allow her friends to die no matter what.<br/>
"Each sortie can be the last. And my attacks just increase this chance. But I promised myself that I would fight until I die, and it doesn't matter at the hands of a titan or my own."<br/>
Erwin didn't look convinced. He folded his arms over his chest and looked firmly at the girl.<br/>
"Don't you think that your actions are rather selfish? Your best friends can die protecting you."<br/>
Raising her head and boldly looking the man in the eyes, she said:<br/>
“I will not hesitate to sacrifice my life if necessary to save them. Is it selfish or not?"  Julie shrugs slightly and looks away from the window, "I just hope that in this case, they can make the right choice."<br/>
After these words, there was a silence between them. Julie watched the moon come out from behind the clouds, and the room grew even brighter. She had never seen such a large and beautiful moon. A silver month that slowly floats across the sky, with smooth and sharp edges, like the edge of a knife.<br/>
Cold as a shard of ice, but at the same time unusually calm and peaceful, even soothing. Julie heard a sigh and turned her head sharply, looking up from the mesmerizing scene. Erwin got up from the sofa and turned his back on the girl, heading for the writing table. Without looking at her, he said:<br/>
“Julie, do you understand that I have to expel you from the Survey Corps because of your seizures?"<br/>
Of course she understood this. Any sane person would do just that. The girl got up slowly from the sofa, trying not to make any sudden movements. She was still shaking, her legs were like cotton and did not obey, but she stubbornly continued to stand. Her voice sounded surprisingly firm and confident.<br/>
“I cannot promise you that this will not happen on the next sortie. But I know that I am ready to give my life to save humanity.<br/>
She did the best she could. Now the decision was up to him. Her hands were shaking, her heart leapt from her chest. She felt as if she could pass out at any moment. Time passed, but Erwin said nothing, just stood with his back turned to her. The girl could swear that he didn't even move. When her hope was almost gone, the man turned to her and said:<br/>
"It's late, go to your room and rest. Training is tomorrow morning, and Levi doesn't like being late."<br/>
Julie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did he let her stay? He didn’t kick her out, didn’t tell her to go pack her things. He just told her to go to bed. That is, it will remain. And it will be with Sina and Anna. She's still a soldier. The girl's lips spread into such a wide smile that even her cheeks hurt. But she didn't care. She has never been so happy. Clenching her hands into fists, she pressed the right one to her heart, and brought the left one behind her back.<br/>
"Yes, sir!"<br/>
Practically shouting this, the girl left the room and, closing the door behind her, leaned her back against it. A smile still shone on her lips. She did it.<br/>
The girl returned to her room much faster than she expected. She practically jumped with joy, like a child who was allowed to eat a long-awaited treat. A blissful smile never left her face, and her eyes shone with happiness. It's good that at such a time the soldiers went to bed a long time ago, otherwise someone would definitely send her to Hange to check for mental illness. The girl herself would have doubted her adequacy if she had not been in seventh heaven with happiness. She couldn't even remember the last time she felt such incredible euphoria. Perhaps never.<br/>
Upon entering her room, she saw that her friends had already returned, and sighed with relief. Sina turned her head in her direction, her eyes looking anxiously at Julie.<br/>
"What happened? Have they been caught? "<br/>
Everything in Blue seemed to be screaming that something was wrong. She seemed so small and fragile, as soon as you touch it, the girl will break like a crystal vase. She hugged herself by the shoulders, otherwise her body was trembling. Sina looked as if tears would flow from her eyes any minute. Julie looked at Anna, hoping she would explain what it all meant. But the girl did not honor her friend even with a glance. Moreover, she looked even worse than Sina. If the first one was clearly frightened by something, then Anna looked like a ghost. Her face was as white as the sheets she had just washed, her bloodshot eyes seemed dead, she moved slowly, as if she did not realize what she was doing. Now Julie was really scared. She had seen Anna in this state only twice. The first time they first met was right after the fall of Wall Maria. And the second time after their very first foray into the walls. Every time to look at such Anna was unbearable, frightening. It seems like a walking corpse, moved only by inertia, instinctively. These empty, lifeless eyes, from which they seemed to suck all the light, all the joy, leaving only a vacuum. No, seeing a friend like that was too painful.<br/>
Julie walked slowly over to Sina. When her friend approached, she visibly relaxed, her hands, tightly squeezing her shoulders, fell, and relief appeared in her eyes. The girl smiled, but her gaze remained worried.<br/>
"Are you okay? How did everything go?"<br/>
Julie nodded affirmatively.<br/>
"Yes, everything is fine. Something happened? What's with Anna? Have you been caught?"<br/>
Sina sighed convulsively and shook her head. Her eyes again darted to Anna, who climbed into the bed right in shape, covering herself with the blanket completely and cutting herself off from the girls. She did not make a sound, did not even move, only the measured rocking of the blanket up and down indicated that she was alive. Sina turned back to Julie.<br/>
"No, we were not caught. I saw Eren. And Anna..." the girl fell silent for a second, trying to find the words, "Levi saw her standing near the basement. It didn't end very well."<br/>
There was silence in the room. Julie didn't know what to say. Anna's relationship with Levi was always tense, but it never went to such an extreme. Yes, they had skirmishes. Yes, for Anna it most often did not go for nothing. But Julie had never seen her friend so murdered and depressed. What could the captain say to her that made her so upset? A sharp sense of guilt hit the girl's chest. Just a couple of minutes ago, she was incredibly happy, practically flying on wings to her room to share with her friends. She was sure that nothing could ruin her great mood. How wrong she was.<br/>
Sina took another deep breath and smiled encouragingly at Julie. It looked pretty fake, but the girl still appreciated the attempt.<br/>
"We also need to go to bed. Too late."<br/>
Turning around, she went to her bed. A small black ball of wool, meowing softly, dashed off after its man. Julie, standing still for some time, followed the example of her friends and trudged off to her place. She just hoped that tomorrow they would figure out how to help Anna.</p><p>***</p><p>Sina had to do something. She walked along the stone corridor, shoving everyone who got in her way, in return receiving harsh glances, and sometimes not even the most pleasant expressions in her address. But now it was the least of all that worried her. Turning the corner, she found herself right at her brother's office. Sina realized that most likely what she was about to do would not do anything. But she couldn't sit idly either.<br/>
The next morning after the quarrel between Anna and Levi, she hoped that her friend would calm down, come to her senses, at least “liven up” a little. But on the contrary, things only got worse. The girl stubbornly ignored everyone, including Sina and Julie, and when they tried to talk to her, she just left the room. She didn't show up for breakfast and they have no idea where she might be. The girls were already seriously worried about her. This has never happened before. Leaving her alone in this state is not a good idea, but what can they do? Then Sina decided that if she cannot talk to Anna, then she will talk to the one who is directly to blame for her depressed mood. That is, with her brother.<br/>
She was sure that this conversation would not be easy. Moreover, she probably knew that Levi would refuse to discuss Anna and everything connected with her with her. But that doesn't mean she won't at least try. If two people dear to her are fighting like dogs, she certainly will not stand and look at it. She stood and watched for a whole year, but sooner or later any patience comes to an end.<br/>
The girl took a deep breath and knocked. There was a quiet murmur and rustling of papers outside the door, and then a rude "Come in." Apparently the captain is out of sorts today. Sina snorted and rolled her eyes. "Well, now or never" - thought Sina and opened the door.<br/>
Levi sat at the table, holding papers in his hands and quickly scanning them with his eyes. Sina noted to herself that her brother looked exhausted. Shadows under the eyes, which are usually not so noticeable, are now pronounced, as if a man had not slept for a whole week. The hair, always perfectly groomed, disheveled, as if a hand was constantly being passed over it, a couple of strands sticking out in different directions, which gave him a boyish look. Sina was not used to seeing her brother so ... ordinary. He always looks great, without a single flaw in his appearance, not a speck, not a fold, not a broken hair. Everything about him screams "Perfection." The girl even doubted whether it was possible? But looking at him now, she realized that she liked the current Levi better. It is so homely, simple, like a breath of fresh, cool air after a hot, stuffy day. Now Sina is sure that he is an ordinary person, or sometimes one might think otherwise. Levi looked up from the papers and glared at the door, but when he met the familiar green eyes, his features softened. After sustaining a couple of seconds of eye contact, he lowered his head again and returned to his papers.<br/>
"Is it too early for a visit?"<br/>
When Levi also didn't show up for breakfast, the girl realized that he was still in his office. It was the perfect opportunity to speak to him in private. They will devote the rest of the day to training, so there will be no more such a chance, and Sina did not want to wait until evening. She was never patient. Clearing her throat, the girl looked directly at her brother, hoping that her voice would not tremble.<br/>
"I want to talk to you."<br/>
Levi glanced briefly at his sister, and then continued to rummage through the papers.<br/>
"About what?"<br/>
"About whom."<br/>
A thin eyebrow on his pale face arched, without answering, he folded the sheets into one pile, slowly checked them, and then put them aside. Raising his head and fixing his eyes on Sina, he silently made it clear that he was listening to her. The girl continued.<br/>
"Anna. What happened between you two last night?"<br/>
Levi's eyes widened slightly, but he immediately regained his composure. The face turned into an impenetrable mask that the man constantly wore around strangers, and to see her now Sina was insanely painful and offensive. Didn't he trust her at all? Her heart sank painfully at the thought. Levi's voice was so cold that the girl staggered back.<br/>
"It doesn't concern you."<br/>
These words made Sina angry and indignant. Her palms clenched into fists with such force that her knuckles turned white. Her teeth gritted, and she was ready to rush at her brother.<br/>
"Not a fucking thing! She's my best friend, and you are my brother, and when you try to strangle each other, it also concerns me!"<br/>
At the end, her voice broke into a scream, she leaned forward, almost hanging over the table, her hands rested on its edges. She herself did not expect such anger from herself, did not suspect that she was capable of such a thing, but the last few hours, although who she is deceiving, the last year, was given to her very hard. To be a constant witness to their quarrels, to hear and see everything, but to be unable to change something, made her mad. She felt terrible, especially because she knew in a way it was her fault. If she hadn't gotten into trouble during the first sortie, if she had been able to protect herself and Anna, everything would be fine. This awareness devours her from the inside, sits in her like a parasite, every time when there is a skirmish between a friend and brother, he reminds of himself, teases and whispers in his ear: "It's all your fault."<br/>
"I'm tired of all this, tired of your endless scandals. You're acting like a kid, Levi. She apologized to me a thousand times for that incident, and I forgave her a thousand times, but you just can't! Why? She has proven that she is a capable fighter, that she is not a coward, because she always throws herself into the very heat, so that <i> you </i> finally open her fucking eyes and see that she is trying for <i> you </i>, that she wants <i> your </i> forgiveness, not mine."<br/>
Sina was breathing heavily, her blood boiled, and her ears were buzzing. Her throat was raw with screams, and she felt the sharp corners of the table dig into the skin of her palms, leaving red streaks, but she was so consumed by her rage that she did not notice it all. Levi frowned more with every word she said, the air around him grew heavier, and the temperature dropped lower and lower. After the end of her angry tirade, silence reigned, and only now Sina realized that she had shouted at her brother. First time in life. But that was not the point, but that her brother is the captain. That is, she raised her voice to a senior in rank. As the anger went away, fear took its place. A shiver ran down her spine, her whole body seemed to be frozen, and her insides were intertwined into a tight knot. Nausea washed over her, and Sina prayed that she would not turn out.<br/>
Levi rose slowly from his chair. Sina watched with open eyes as he walked around his desk and stood beside her. Now, more than anything, she wanted the floor to break in half and swallow her so that she would no longer see this look, promising a long and painful death. The girl thought that life did not teach her anything. Levi's eyes were narrow slits that glittered menacingly. The voice was calm, it spoke almost in a whisper, but this made Sina's hair stand on end.<br/>
“If you raise your voice at me again, I promise you will never see your precious friend again, and you’ll never leave your room again, and no fuckin Erwin or anyone else will help you. It is clear?"<br/>
Sina could only nod back, her lower lip trembling, her knees shaking, and her eyes reddened. She could already feel the tears threatening to flow at any moment. The girl exhaled convulsively, not even noticing that while Levi spoke, she held her breath. The captain turned his back on her.<br/>
"Don't forget, Sina. I forgive you a lot that I would not forgive anyone else, but my patience is not unlimited."<br/>
The girl on stiff legs left Levi's office and, without even stopping, wandered off, not making out the road. She had never felt so overwhelmed, so depressed. Her legs were carrying her somewhere, Sina did not even understand where she was going, just to get away. Her tears burned her eyes, painful sobs escaped from her chest, and with every second it was more and more difficult to contain. Levi's words echoed in her ears, settling in a bitter lump somewhere deep inside. She screwed up again. She wanted to help her friend, help her brother, but everything turned out exactly the opposite. Why does she never think before doing something? How many times she had to make trouble for her own head, how many times had to get the "last warning" before she finally understood. Brother is right, every patience comes to an end, and she has already exhausted her limit long ago. The girl is surprised that Levi hasn't snapped at her earlier. A bitter grin escapes her lips. After all, she can't help anyone, no matter how hard she tries. She is useless, worthless, she has only problems ...<br/>
"Sina!"<br/>
The girl turns sharply at the sound of her name. Alien, but at the same time such a familiar voice. She could swear she had heard it somewhere before. Sina looks around, lost, a couple of times, trying to figure out where she is. Her own thoughts and self-flagellation engulfed her so much that she did not even pay attention to where her legs were brought. A bright, harsh light hits the eyes after the relative darkness of the stone corridors, and now the girl realized that she was standing right in front of the exit from the castle. The soldiers passing by her cast sidelong glances, staring in disbelief in her direction. But suddenly Sina realizes that they are not looking at her, but at the one who stands next to her. Eren looks better than yesterday. Refreshed, rested, with sparkling eyes that, in bright light, look like two huge emeralds, polished and polished to perfection. His lips spread into a wide smile, showing perfect and snow-white teeth. The hair sticks out in different directions, and Sina could not understand whether it was from the fact that the guy was constantly touching it with his hands, or whether this was their usual state. At that moment, the girl thought that he looked just like a child, and she had an irresistible desire to pinch his cheek, he is so charming. The girl smiled.<br/>
"Hey, Eren. How are you? Still alive?"<br/>
Eren laughed loudly, and for some reason Sina's heart trembled, and some incomprehensible warmth spread in her stomach. The guy nervously scratched the back of his neck.<br/>
"Okay, surprisingly. Of course, they still look at me as if I could turn into a titan any minute, but that was to be expected."<br/>
Sina snorted back.<br/>
"Who knows, maybe you will."<br/>
Eren's lips twitched, and his smile wasn't as dazzling as it had been a second ago. He looked at Sina uncertainly, as if trying to figure out if she really meant what she just said. Seeing that the girl continues to smile, and there was a mischievous light in her eyes, the guy relaxed and laughed.<br/>
"Let's hope that doesn't happen. But just in case, be on the lookout."<br/>
"Yes, sir."<br/>
They both laughed and silence fell between them. Sina felt much better, and she practically forgot about what happened in Levi's office. How does this guy manage to banish all her worries? She speaks to him only for the second time in her life, but it seems that they have known each other all their lives. Sina remembers the time she had just arrived from the Underground City when Levi took her away. She could not connect two words, she constantly stammered, stuttered, blushed and was ready to sink into the ground out of shame. Her social skills have always left a lot to be desired. Even with Anna and Julie, she was not immediately able to talk normally. She remembers how, during training in the cadet corps, every night she roared into her pillow, because she could not find the strength to speak to someone, and even if she did, then after two or three words her tongue went numb with fear, tears began flow down her cheeks, and her friends had to calm her down for hours. She even considered giving up the idea of becoming a soldier, stopping her studies, because for her it was a real torture. But only thanks to her friends, she was able to overcome her fear, to become who she is, and she will be grateful to them until the end of her days. So why is it different with Eren? Does this mean that she finally conquered her fear? Or is it just Eren inspiring confidence in her? She did not know. After a while, Sina catches a deep gaze of green eyes, which carefully study her face.<br/>
"Why are you looking at me like that?"<br/>
"Did something happen to you?"<br/>
Sina shuddered. She shivered uncomfortably, shifting from foot to foot, and turned her head, not wanting to look Eren in the eye. Was it really that obvious? Sina cleared her throat, her voice too out of tune, even for herself.<br/>
"Of course not. Why do you think so?"<br/>
Eren didn't answer right away. He continued to glare at the girl, as if trying to get answers in this way, and Sina felt a tingling sensation on the skin where his gaze was focused. She desperately wanted to cover her face with her hands. Finally, the guy said:<br/>
“You look ... unhappy. Broken. It's like trying to hide it very well, but your eyes ... They're dull. Not the same as last time."<br/>
Sina was ready to swear that while Eren spoke, her heart stopped beating. Her throat was suddenly dry and her whole body felt like wood. Why is this boy reading it so well? They don't even know each other, but nevertheless, it is with him that she never knows what to expect from herself. First, she attacks her brother in the courtroom, then she again risks her neck to get to Eren's basement, not knowing why, then she blabs to him that Captain Levi Ackerman is her brother, although the minimum number of people knows about it ... Now what? Is she going to tell him what happened? That her brother now hates her, that her friend does not want to see her. She's really going to cry on his waistcoat because the boy ... what? Was in the right place at the right time? Or because she knows that he will understand her like no one else? Why was she so sure he would understand her? Her sixth sense. And it had never let her down.<br/>
"You don't have to say if you don't want to. I just thought that ..."<br/>
"No, everything is okay. You're right. I feel like shit."<br/>
For a second, Sina wondered if she should continue. She looked at Eren, and saw that he was patiently waiting for her words, whether there would be an explanation, or she would just tell him to stop prying into other people's affairs. Sina could not find the strength to do the latter, so she just sighed and decided that the hell with him, what difference does it make now, if it is possible that she will be locked in her room at all, where she will spend the rest of her days.<br/>
"My brother and I ... had a fight. More precisely, I yelled at him, which I had no right to do. After all, he's my captain. To put it mildly, he was not thrilled."<br/>
Sina saw Eren shiver, as if a chill ran down his spine. He turned pale, and fear flashed in his eyes. Sina would have snorted if it hadn't been for the whole thing just a few minutes ago in Levi's office. The girl thought that she had omitted the most frightening details, otherwise the teenager would have died right now from a heart attack. Eren's voice was low, as if he feared the captain might somehow hear him.<br/>
"Wow ... My condolences."<br/>
At this, Sina could not resist and snorted. She shook her head, and the corners of her lips twitched.<br/>
"Thank you. If suddenly something happens to me, you know who to blame for it."<br/>
Feeling that Sina's mood had changed and the heavy tension had subsided, he smiled slyly.<br/>
"I would say that I will avenge you, but that would be a lie."<br/>
Sina feigned a gasp, pretending that Eren's words had hurt her to the very heart. The girl hit the guy in the chest with her fist, to which he hissed and rubbed the bruised place.<br/>
"Oh, that's how! If I had known, I would not have stood up for you in court. We should have given you to those fanatics, let them dig deeper into you, maybe they would find at least a piece of gratitude there."<br/>
Eren laughed again and Sina smiled victoriously. She did not know what higher powers brought the guy to her exactly when she needed it most, but she was ready to fall on her knees in front of them and thank them a thousand times for it. When Eren looked at her again, he looked embarrassed, his cheeks covered with a faint pink tint. His right hand was on the back of his head and scratched uncertainly.<br/>
“Um, Sina… My friends just joined the Survey Corps yesterday. If you want, I can introduce you."<br/>
Eren looked so small right now, despite being almost a head taller than Sina. He asked this so quietly that at first the girl wondered if she had heard it. But Eren looked at her expectantly and with such desperate hope that Sina's heart was ready to break from just that look. How could she refuse him? The girl smiled warmly at him.<br/>
"Sure why not."<br/>
She had never seen such a sincere joy in anyone's place. Eren looked like he was told that he killed all the titans. The girl chuckled to herself. "Probably, this is how he would look if he was told that."<br/>
"Let's go then."<br/>
Together they left the headquarters and headed towards the stables. Sina did not know why Eren's friends would be waiting for him at the stables, but she did not ask questions. As they walked, the girl carefully looked around, hoping to find familiar dark hair, but it was useless, Anna was nowhere to be found. “Where is she wearing it? Training will start soon,” thought Sina desperately. The girl did not want her friend to have more problems than she is now. Sina sincerely hoped that she would nevertheless deign to appear.<br/>
She didn’t notice as they approached the stables. In addition to the usual quiet neighing of horses, the girl heard screams and occasional loud laughter. Perhaps these are Eren's friends. Sina's eyes widened involuntarily. When he said that his friends joined Intelligence, she expected it to be a few people, but not a whole <i> crowd </i> of hyperactive and rowdy teenagers. No, seriously, Eren has <i> that </i> many friends? The girl began to doubt if this was a good idea. When they came closer, Sina saw the most ridiculous picture that just appeared before her eyes. A girl with brown hair pulled back in a ponytail held bread in her hands, clutching it to her chest as if it were the greatest jewel, tears streamed down her cheeks, she screamed loudly. At this time, the guy with short-cropped hair struggled to take this very bread, which made the girl's screams and screams louder.<br/>
"Sasha, damn it, give back the bread! The workout is about to begin!"<br/>
"Never! I won't give it to you, Connie!"<br/>
This continued exactly until the pretty blue-eyed blond looked towards the approaching Eren and Sina and exclaimed joyfully:<br/>
"Eren!"<br/>
All heads turned at the same time, and Sina instinctively hid behind Eren's back, trying to make herself as less visible as possible. Why didn't he warn her that there were so many of them? In such large groups of people, she does not feel at ease. Suddenly a voice in her head asked, “What would you do? Refused? " Sina thought for a second. One has only to remember the expression on Eren's face and she realized that she would never have been able to refuse him when he looked at her so imploringly. “But at least I prepared myself mentally,” the girl thought, knowing full well that this was a blatant lie. They stopped in front of the group, and Eren smiled affably and waved his hand.<br/>
"Hi guys!"<br/>
"You finally appeared, I was sure that they would kill each other during this time."<br/>
The blond shook his head accusingly. Sina wondered how much he looked like a girl. Blond hair that falls like a waterfall almost to the shoulders, huge eyes the color of a bright sky with long eyelashes, which Sina saw only on dolls, passing by a toy store. He was short, slender, the girl would even say fragile. Even his voice was soft, iridescent, like the ringing of bells. Eren just waved it off.<br/>
"Sooner or later it should happen anyway."<br/>
"Eren, who is this behind your back?"<br/>
Sina tensed at these words. She hoped she wouldn't be noticed after all, focusing entirely on Eren. That didn't mean she didn't want to meet his friends, not at all. It was just difficult for her, making new acquaintances, especially when there are so many people. Memories from the days of the cadet corps were still fresh in her memory, like wounds that did not have time to heal. Before Sina could say anything, Eren stepped aside so that Sina appeared in front of everyone. She tried to put on an inscrutable expression so as not to betray her excitement, but she wasn't as good at it as Levi. Blue would really like Anna or Julie to be with her now.<br/>
"Guys, this is Sina. Thanks to her, I am still alive. Sina, these are my friends. We were together in the cadet corps."<br/>
Sina could only nod in greeting. She looked around at all the teenagers. Some smiled at her, which made the girl a little relaxed, while others were apparently not too happy to see her, such as this gloomy girl who burned holes in her with her own eyes. Sina thought that she was very reminiscent of someone, but the excitement did not allow her to concentrate and remember for sure. The first to speak was a blond boy.<br/>
"Hi, I'm Armin. Very nice to meet you."<br/>
Armin smiled at her with his kind smile, and Sina wanted to hug him. You can't be so sweet and charming. The girl thought that now she has two weaknesses: kittens and Armin. She smiled back at him, then looked at the girl with the bread. When did she eat half of it? It took no more than two minutes! The girl shook off the crumbs and then waved to Sina.<br/>
"I'm Sasha"<br/>
Sina nodded. The girl continued to greedily devour the bread, not paying attention to the jabs and sidelong glances from her friends. Sina could not resist and asked:<br/>
"Why are you eating bread?"<br/>
Sasha, without even looking up from her delicacy, muttered with her mouth full:<br/>
" Because I'm hungry."<br/>
Sina looked at her in bewilderment.<br/>
"But there was just breakfast."<br/>
"So what?"<br/>
The girl had nothing to answer to this. She thought that after serving in the Intelligence Unit for a year, she had seen all sorts of strange people, but when she met with Eren's friends, she realized that she was damn wrong. A loud voice next to Sasha brought her out of her thoughts.<br/>
"Hi! I'm Connie."<br/>
Turning her head, the girl stared at a short guy standing next to Sasha. It was the one who took the bread from her. Now he stood with his arms folded across his chest and struggled to ignore the chomping sounds coming from his left. But Sina saw that his gaze was constantly darting in the direction of Sasha, and his eyebrow twitched in irritation. These two were fun to watch. The corners of Sina's lips twitched in a half smile - half grin. She also nodded to Connie. A new voice was heard, and the girl looked sharply at the speaker."<br/>
"So you are the girl who stood up for him in court? It's amazing that anyone decided to help this idiot at all. Surely, you got a lot of it.<br/>
Tall, even taller than Eren, with sandy hair and dark brown eyes. There was a sarcastic smile on his lips, and he looked at Sina with some kind of mockery. The girl had already opened her mouth to sarcastically answer this upstart, but next to her, Eren did not give the girl this opportunity.<br/>
"Shut up, horse muzzle! What the hell are you doing here anyway?"<br/>
The guy chuckled and, turning his evil gaze on Eren, answered sharply:<br/>
“I don't need your permission, Yeager. I can be wherever I want."<br/>
The brunette, ignoring the guy's statement, turned to Sina and said:<br/>
"Ignore him, Jean is just a idiot."<br/>
" Who did you call a idiot, a piece of shit?"<br/>
"Hey, hey, stop. You act like children."<br/>
The new voice was deep and firm, and Sina thought for a second that a grown man had approached them. But no, she just saw that behind the gloomy black-haired girl was a huge, strong giant. His brows were furrowed and his lips pursed. Sina shuddered. If not for his height, he could well compete with Erwin in build, she thought. He turned his scowl at Sina, and for some reason the girl felt unwell. His eyes seemed to burn right through her. The guy just nodded.<br/>
"Rainer."<br/>
Sina swallowed and nodded in response. For some reason, this Reiner made her nervous. A sixth sense told her to stay away from him. And Sina was used to trusting her sixth sense. Nevertheless, time was pressing, the training was to start very soon, and it was time for them to go. Levi is not in the best mood today, but after their last conversation. You shouldn't give a man an extra reason to rip her head off. The girl looked around all of Eren's friends and smiled.<br/>
"It was nice to meet you all, but Eren and I have to go ..."<br/>
"Where are you going with Eren?"<br/>
Sina frowned. The black-haired girl who had never uttered a word the entire time they stood here was now looking at her as if she were ready to kill. Arms crossed over his chest, eyes darting between Sina and Eren. The girl felt how the situation was heating up, and from the black-haired one came a hidden threat. Sina did not understand what was happening. Two seconds ago, everything was fine, but now she felt as if she had entered someone else's territory and she was not welcome here at all. Next to her, Eren took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily.<br/>
"Mikasa, please, don't."<br/>
Mikasa. This is the same Mikasa Ackerman who was in court and testified in defense of Eren. His half-sister, if Sina remembered correctly. Now everything fell into place. And why she is so aggressively opposed to Sina, and who she so badly resembles a girl. Well, of course, how did she not understand earlier? Now that she remembered, she could tell that she and Levi were very similar. The same black hair, the same cold gray eyes, from which the limbs grow cold. The girl could tell for sure that they were related. This is a typical Ackermann style, which she still remembered from her father. Sina once again bitterly thought how different she was neither Levi, nor her father, nor even this girl, Mikasa. Is she exactly Ackerman? Maybe her father lied to her and in fact she was not his daughter at all? She would not be surprised at this fact, to understand what Kenny had in his head was impossible. On the other hand, why would he lie about this? Now Sina would like to know her mother more than ever. Where did she get that blonde hair, where did those green eyes come from, where did this terrible self-doubt come from? Even Anna looks more like the Ackermans than she, both externally and internally. Sina bit her lip. She always wanted to be like her brother, to exude that strength and power that would bring people to their knees, that everyone would fear and admire.But even after so much time, she still remained that shy, weak, insecure girl who has nothing to do with Levi Ackerman, the strongest warrior of humanity. And Sina hated it. She looked up at Mikasa. At least once in her life, she wants to be like them.<br/>
“We're going to Captain Levi's training, I'm sure you've heard of him. Well, you know, getting even stronger, as befits an elite squad. Are you satisfied? Great, we gotta go, Eren. It was great to meet all of you."<br/>
Sina herself did not expect that her voice could be so icy, penetrating to the bone, and so threatening. If she heard him from the side, she would certainly have been horrified. The eyes of all the guys increased in size as she spoke, no one dared even move. Mikasa, on the other hand, looked calm, she was in no way offended by Sina's tone, but the girl did not expect anything else from her. Turning around and grabbing Eren by the sleeve, she immediately headed towards the training ground. Her eyes were still blazing with rage, her teeth were gritting, she didn't even realize that she practically broke into a run until Eren touched her on the shoulder. Sina turned her head and looked at him.<br/>
"Sina, forgive Mikasa. She can be very ... hot-tempered and persistent."<br/>
Sina grunted, but slowed her pace. Her anger was slowly going away, and now she even felt a little ashamed for the fact that she was so outraged in front of Eren's friends. After all, they are innocent. Yes, and Eren himself did nothing, and she just took and dragged him along, not giving the opportunity to even say goodbye. The girl felt her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. What had ever gotten into her? It’s one thing to go off on Levi. This accumulated for a whole year, and he was not a stranger either. Mikasa is a completely different matter. "Today is clearly not my day." The girl smiled encouragingly at Eren.<br/>
"It's okay, really. I got a little angry."<br/>
At this the guy just grinned. For the rest of the way, they were silent, each lost in their own thoughts, and Sina did not even notice that she continued to hold Eren's hand, to which the guy did not answer. Seeing the familiar field on which Levi has been torturing or trying to kill every day for a year, Sina has not yet completely understood the members of her squad, the girl let out a convulsive sigh. She didn't even know whether to be glad to her that they had time before the captain, or to try to escape before it was too late. But on the other hand, the girl knew perfectly well that it was useless to run from Levi, it would not bring anything but injuries. So resigned, Sina and Eren walked towards Julie, who had already started to warm up. Seeing who was heading for her, the girl smiled broadly.<br/>
“I thought you’d never show up.” I didn't even hope that you would stay alive.<br/>
Sina snorted, releasing Eren's hand.<br/>
"Dream on," for some second Sina fell silent, looking around the field in search of Anna, but realizing that it was probably hopeless and her friend still would not come, she turned back to Juliе, "by the way, this is Eren."<br/>
Julie smiled affably at the guy and held out her hand, which he hurried to shake.<br/>
"Hey, Eren. I am very glad to meet you. I'm Julie."<br/>
"I'm also very happy. Well, what are we going to do?"<br/>
“Everything,” the girls answered in unison. It was the purest truth. In his training, Levi was very sophisticated, trying to give maximum load, so that every muscle, every muscle took part. But his favorite was running. The soldiers could do this for hours. In any weather, at any time of the year, at any time of the day, they ran tens of kilometers, winding circles around this field. A couple of times, Sina even dreamed of it in nightmares. Eren whistled and chuckled.<br/>
- It sounds promising.<br/>
Sina shook her head.<br/>
"You can't even imagine. In the end, you will beg someone to cut your throat."<br/>
Eren apparently didn’t believe it and thought he was just being bullied, since he’s a newbie. "Naive. I also thought so at first. But life is a cruel thing." The sound of approaching steps brought her out of her thoughts. Sina turned around and her heart skipped a beat. Anna looked much better than she did this morning. Not so broken, the dead look from her eyes was gone, but they were still too empty, too dark, and from just one look into those black, cold eyes, Sina wanted to cry. The girl silently approached them and stood beside them, turning away and looking far ahead with an unseeing gaze. Sina and Julie looked at each other. It was really a relief that Anna came. Sina has already lost hope of seeing her friend today. But here she is, right in front of them, albeit not the same as always, but still she is here. This is already progress. Julie turned to Anna quietly and uncertainly.<br/>
"Um, Anna. Are you okay?"<br/>
The friends held their breath, expecting at least some reaction, at least some answer. After, as it seemed to them a huge amount of time, the girl nevertheless nodded slightly, but still did not say a word. Sina and Julie breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe things were really not as bad as they thought at the beginning? The girls didn't even have time to blink when Levi appeared from around the corner. On his face was the usual cold expression that did not betray his emotions in any way. He walked past, not even honoring them with a glance, and the girls, out of inertia, followed the captain. Sina saw Anna stubbornly trying to make a relaxed face, but the girl knew her friend too well not to notice her slightly quivering shoulders, or rapid breathing. How she clenches her palms into fists, or how tight her jaw is. She knew from the slightest movement of her eyebrows what was going on in her friend's head. And she knew that she was now holding back her rage with great difficulty. When they stopped, Levi looked around his entire party, checking to see if everything was in place, and then nodded in satisfaction.<br/>
"Ten laps to warm up. Go."<br/>
The soldiers groaned in despair, but realized that there was nothing they could do about it. The captain's word is law. Reluctantly, everyone trudged to the start line. The girls followed suit with a sigh. During the run, they were mostly silent, because, firstly, it was necessary to save precious breath, since no one wanted to fizzle out on a simple warm-up, knowing what hell awaited them ahead, and secondly, Levi did not like talking during training. Sina thought that the things Levi loved could be counted on the fingers of one hand. She watched Anna all the time, noting that something was wrong with her today. Usually they master this warm-up without any problems, but now it seems that Anna is already at her limit. She is running a little ahead, her breathing has fallen out, her legs are sluggish. Her face is pale, her eyes are sunken, with huge bruises under them, she looks as if she will lose consciousness at any moment. But they didn't even run half of it. Sina starts to panic, a bad feeling sneaking under her skin. Turning to Julie and looking at her with her worried green eyes, the girl notes with satisfaction that her friend also noticed Anna's condition. She opens her mouth to call out to her as a new voice sounds right next to them.<br/>
"Hey girls! How are you?"<br/>
Sina turns around and sees Adam. The soldier smiles sannyly at them with his dazzling smile, continuing to run side by side with Sina. The girl had nothing against Adam, she even liked him to some extent. Always friendly, always smiling, he never reaches into his pocket for a word. With beautiful blond hair, which is always in disarray, as if he just got out of bed, and with light gray eyes, in which endless energy and craving to find adventures are splashing. Sina can't even remember how many times he got into trouble, but he never hung his nose, but just kept smiling. It seemed that the titans and the constant threat of death did not disturb him in the least. He laughs it off and says that when he is in the stomach of the titan, then he will start to worry. Sina always thought he was weird and a little hi, but still a good guy. She especially respected him even more when she learned that it was he who brought Julie and Anna to that hideout. Since then, Adam always tried to be nearby, was interested in their life, came to chat during the break between workouts. Several years older, he gave them advice, shared combat experience, weighed obscene jokes, for which he always received a couple of punches. He paid particular attention to Anna. Sina often noticed how he constantly tried to talk to her, and if she was not nearby, he tried to find her with his eyes among other scouts. Sometimes he even winked meaningfully at her, but the girl just rolled her eyes at this and told him to grow up at last. So she was not surprised even now when Adam immediately turned his gaze to Anna.<br/>
"What's with her? Did you have a fight or something?"<br/>
Sina didn't know how to respond to that, so she just shrugged. She didn’t want to tell Adam about their problems, and it’s not that it was his business. The girl just smiled and said:<br/>
"If Captain Levi sees you here, you’ll be in trouble."<br/>
Adam waved him off and continued to run, as if nothing had happened. Sina thought that this guy had no instinct for self-preservation at all.<br/>
"He won't see, he's too far away."<br/>
Sina giggled and put her fist to her lips to contain her bursting laugh.<br/>
"Yes, just like last time."<br/>
"Hey, I didn't know that he would also decide to run a couple of laps, and even right behind me. And you could warn me!"<br/>
Before Sina had time to answer him, right in front of her, Anna stumbles and falls to the ground. The girl felt the blood run cold in her veins. They barely have time to stop themselves, so as not to bump into Anna. Sina screams her name and immediately drops to her knees next to her, after a second, seeing Julie go down as well. Anna lies with her eyes closed, her body completely motionless, and Sina is ready to swear that her heart stopped for a couple of seconds. She bends down sharply and presses her ear to her friend's chest. Exhales loudly with relief when he hears a heartbeat. The girl sees Julie trying to shout to Anna, calls her by name, lightly knocks on her cheeks, but it's all useless. Then Sina desperately turns her head, trying to find the look "Fuck, where does he wear it when you need it so much ?!" Time is running out, and Anna is still unconscious. Sina feels her whole body begin to tremble, and her insides are pulled into a tight knot with fear. What to do? She should have noticed earlier, should have told someone. She saw, in what condition her friend, she saw that she could hardly keep on her feet. Why did she do nothing? Why did she let her bring herself to this? Hot tears poured from her eyes, she can not hold back a sob. Suddenly someone bends down next to them and carefully takes Anna in his arms. Sina looks up, dull with tears. Adam. She wants to scream with relief. The guy squeezes Anna in his arms and looks at Sina and Julie. They have never seen him so serious and at the same time excited.<br/>
"I'll take her to Hange."<br/>
Without waiting for their answer, he sharply turns around and runs towards the headquarters. The girls just sit on the ground for a while and stare at the retreating figure of Adam, trying to understand what has just happened. Everything happened so quickly, with lightning speed. It's just that one second they run, and the next - Anna is already unconscious on the ground. What will happen to her now? Is this something serious? Without saying a word, without even looking at each other, Sina and Julie take off and run in the same direction where Adam took Anna. It seems to Sina that she has never run so fast in her life. The heart is ready to pierce the ribcage at any second, she gasps for air, her legs seemed to be filled with lead, but she still makes them run, run, run. Her eyes widen when she sees her brother walking slowly towards them. He notices the running girls, his eyebrows frown. Sina runs up to her brother with the last of her strength. It seems that she, too, is about to collapse to the ground unconscious.<br/>
"What happened? Why are you crying? Where is Smith?"<br/>
Sina tries to catch her breath for a few agonizingly long seconds, and then tears in her eyes rise up desperately at Levi. Her voice trembles, as does her whole body.<br/>
"Anna became ill, she lost consciousness. Adam carried her to Hange."<br/>
Levi's eyebrows shot up, and for a split second, Sina was sure she saw a flash of fear in his gray eyes. But the man quickly regained his composure. Throwing a short "Wait here" at them at last, he turned and sped away. Sina's knees could not stand, and she fell to the ground, a painful groan escaped from her throat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. All this pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adam:<br/>https://sun9-66.userapi.com/c855128/v855128411/22361e/jvRx6qnt5uU.jpg<br/>https://sun9-44.userapi.com/c855128/v855128411/223627/LhbOeZOfekQ.jpg</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now I will tell you what I've done for you<br/>
Fifty thousand tears I've cried<br/>
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you<br/>
And you still won't hear me</p><p>Evanescence — Going Under </p><p>***<br/>
<i>Only those who care about you, hear you, when you silent.<i><br/>
***</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Anna felt as if she had been chewed and spat out. She was exhausted. In fact, she didn't even remember the last time she felt so disgusting. She really wanted to sleep, her whole body seemed to be filled with lead, and the desire to just spit on everything and find the first corner she could find to sleep was getting stronger and stronger every minute. But she knew that even if she did, she would not fall asleep, no matter how exhausted she was.<br/>
She did not sleep that night. She just lay the whole time, staring blankly out the window, and watched the night slowly give way to morning, as the sun rises and its first rays fall on the ground, counting the minutes until she can get up and finish this shit. When the sun was already high enough, she quietly got out of bed, trying not to wake up the peacefully sleeping friends and left the room to clean herself up. She didn't even bother to take off her uniform last night and lay down in it. Now she is forced to face the consequences in the form of crumpled clothes. When Levi sees her, he will be terrified. At this thought, Anna shuddered, and her heart ached with a sharp pain. She doesn't want to think about it. Not about him, not about his uniform, which is usually clean and flawlessly ironed and now looks like a crumpled piece of paper. She absolutely does not care what the captain thinks when he sees her. At least she <i> tried </i> her best to convince herself of this.<br/>
After finishing her morning routine, she returned to their room. The girls were already awake, the beds were neatly made, the uniforms were on, which, unlike Anna's, were in perfect condition for both. The worried glances of her friends slid over her, but she stubbornly continued to ignore them, pretending not to notice how  Sina now and then looked over her shoulder to glance at Anna for a moment, or how Julie opened her mouth to say something, but did not finding the right words, closes it.<br/>
Anna just silently walked to her bed, took her equipment out of the closet and began to fasten it on her hips with her usual, perfected movements. She had been doing this every day for several years, and now she could perform this daily ritual with her eyes closed. Metal clattered loudly, echoing in the unusually quiet room. When she finished, the girl turned around on her heels without looking at her friends and headed for the door. She heard Sina call her name, Julie jerked to catch her hand, but she didn't have time, and the door slammed shut behind Anna. It turned out much louder than she planned, but does it matter?<br/>
Taking a deep breath, she strode down the corridor.<br/>
Anna didn't want to do that. She really didn't want to. She knew that this was unfair to her friends who were not to blame for anything other than worrying about her. But it was difficult to blame them for this. Who wouldn't be worried if they were? But right now, Anna could not help herself. She didn’t want to look into anxiety-filled eyes, to answer questions for which she didn’t have answers. She was sure that Sina and Julie would understand her, and if she asked them, they would not ask about anything. But she needs time to calm down, come to her senses, sort things out. For example, why she reacted so to the words of the captain.<br/>
She always knew, or at least suspected, that it would be difficult to gain the trust of a man like Levi, especially after what she did a year ago. This fatal mistake alone cost her a lot. Anna felt that Levi was keeping her in his squad only because of Erwin and Sina, and she was sick of it. Why? Doesn't she care? The main thing, after all, is that she is next to dear people, and who thinks what about her it is completely unimportant to her. So she believed until she faced eyes full of disgust and contempt. This became her biggest nightmare.<br/>
She wanted to correct this mistake at all costs, to remove it from memory, as if it had never existed. She trained with all her might, gave all the best, and for all the time she never again gave a reason to doubt her. But it was to no avail. Levi seemed oblivious to her efforts. Or deliberately ignored. The girl gritted her teeth, clenching her palms into fists so that her nails dug into the pale skin. Why? Why can't he give her a second chance? Why doesn't she see that she has changed? Why can't she understand that now she can be trusted? Why does he hate her so much?<br/>
The words he had spoken last night cut deep inside. Reality fell heavily on Anna, killing all hope and leaving only emptiness. She didn't know what to do. The girl assumed that it would be very difficult to regain the captain's disposition, that it would take time, possibly a huge amount of time, but she believed that she could do it. Now ... She doubted she would ever succeed.<br/>
How to proceed further? Transfer to another squad? No, she couldn't just take and leave her friends. She understood that they would still be seen, that she would stay with them even during sorties, but still. She felt that this would be a betrayal on her part. After all, they have been together for so many years, they are a family, they are accustomed to each other and losing their friends now would be tantamount to having both her hands cut off. No, she couldn't do it. So, you have to put up with it. With the fact that she will never be fully part of the squad, that she will never be fully trusted, that those eyes will never look at her with respect and approval. They will forever remain icy and gloomy, filled with hidden hatred.<br/>
Anna did not understand where she was going, her feet themselves led her to the exit from the castle, then past the stables, bypassing the training field. She only stopped when she realized that she was running, her breath caught, and the castle was far behind. She stood right in front of a large oak tree, so ancient that he probably saw a time when the titans did not exist yet, and people fought with each other, defending their pitiful ambitions. The girl slowly walked to the tree and sank down, flopping down on the grass, still damp from the morning dew, and pressing her back against the hard trunk of the oak. Her eyes are closed, and her head is leaning back. She is so tired that she wants to scream. Anna had been able to spend the whole night without sleep before, insomnia was not such a rare occurrence, but right now she felt as if she had not slept for a week. Emotional stress could be more exhausting than any physical activity. The girl would give everything now for a couple of hours of deep sleep. Can't give a damn about training and just stay here? Someday she must take advantage of the fact that Erwin is her uncle. She will simply tell him that she felt terrible, the girl was sure that the Commander would not mind. And Levi can go to hell, he won't dare go against Erwin.<br/>
Of course, this thought was too seductive, but Anna knew that she would not do it, no matter how much she wanted. She won't run from Levi, no matter how terrible their relationship is. He is still her captain, and she is still a soldier who must obey orders. And using your kinship with the Commander to get away from regular training is low and disgusting. She's so hungry for respect and trust. So what kind of respect could there be if she did this disgusting? Absolutely impossible.<br/>
Anna decided that she would skip breakfast anyway, because not only would she not be in time for him, but purely physically she would not be able to shove even a piece of bread inside herself without the likelihood that he would be on the floor in a minute. So she just had to sit here and wait for breakfast to end, and then she went to workout. Anna thought that she would have to apologize to her friends for her behavior, but decided that she would do it later, when they were alone in their room.<br/>
Anna sat with her eyes closed and listened to how the wind swayed the foliage, how the birds sing and simply enjoyed the silence of this cool morning. But the silence did not last long, and the voice in her head persistently and venomously, as if whispering right in her ear, mocking, hissed:<br/>
<i>"Sina may have forgiven you, but it doesn't matter that you nearly killed her. These people make me sick. You can go out of your way, I will not change my opinion, Anna." </i><br/>
She remembered every word, every movement of his lips as he said it, looking at her like she was nothing more than the dirt under his sole. She remembered how she wanted to scream and cry, how her heart was torn from injustice, from rage, from despair, from pain. She remembered how painful it was, and now, as these words revolve in her head again and again, it seems to her that this pain only intensified. She does not let her breathe, fills her from head to toe, as if she is immersed in icy water and cannot float out to breathe. And Levi seems to be standing and holding her head under the water, not letting her get out.<br/>
The girl slowly blinks her eyes and immediately squints against the bright light. How long did she sit like that? She just hoped she wasn't late. She doesn't need even bigger problems. Anna quickly gets up and shakes off the stuck grass and dirt from her pants, straightens her equipment and walks briskly towards the training field. The girl prayed that Levi would not come yet. For some reason now she felt even worse. Her whole body seemed to weigh a ton, her legs did not obey at all, and she persistently forced them to move, there was a veil in front of her eyes, and she almost did not see where she was going. Anna had no idea how she would train in this state, but she had no choice anyway.<br/>
Approaching the field, the first thing she noticed was that her friends were already there, and even in the company of this titan boy. He looked lost and constantly glanced at Sina, trying to get closer to her, like a puppy that never leaves its master. Previously, Anna would have grinned at this, made a couple of jokes, but now she had neither the strength nor the desire to do it. Therefore, she just silently stood by her side, making it clear about her presence. She didn't want to talk now, and Anna hoped that Sina and Julie would just wait until evening, and then they could inundate her with questions. After a short wait on the field, there was a reason why Anna is now in such a state, ready at any moment to fall to the ground unconscious. The girl noticed that Levi also looks more tired and more irritated than usual. At the thought, a pleasant warmth spread over her body. It is good to realize that she is not alone in such a deplorable state, although Levi's condition could not be called such in the full sense of the word. After a short command from the captain, they all trudged to the start line to start running. The girl all the time felt the anxious glances of Sina and Julie on her, but hoped that they would not notice how disgusting she felt. She just needs to get through this day.<br/>
As soon as Anna ran the first few tens of meters, she realized that she would not last long. And she knew that this was just a warm-up, and then they had strength exercises, and then a few more hours of running. She won't take the whole workout. Anna will be surprised if she can finish at least this warm-up, but she had no idea what to do next. She fled with all her strength, every now and then stumbling on a flat surface, because her legs were giving up, her lungs were burning so much that it seemed to her that a small fire was burning in her chest, burning all her insides to the ground, in her mouth she could taste her own blood, and this made my throat feel nauseous. But she continued to run, pushing her body to the limit, squeezing out the last forces that only still remained in her. She ran a little ahead of her friends so that they did not see her emaciated face, and they were quietly talking about something, but Anna was too focused on not falling to the ground, so she did not follow their conversation. Somewhere out of the corner of her ear, she heard Adam run up to them, but the noise in her head suddenly became too loud and strong, her temples were pressed with incredible power, her whole body shook, as if in a fever, and finally the muscles pushed to the limit , gave up. She could no longer resist, her body demanded rest, screamed with pain and fatigue, and Anna, feeling her knees buckling, fell into darkness.<br/>
***<br/>
Everything around was dark, she could not see anything, only absolute blackness. She struggled to open her eyes, but the eyelids were glued on, they wouldn't open no matter how hard she tried. The head was very heavy and ached as if it had been beaten for several hours in a row. She also tried to lift it, but was again defeated. Then she noticed that not only the head, but the whole body did not obey, and when she tried to move any part of her body, the muscles of the protesters screamed and a sharp pain covered her, like a blanket, from head to toe. But nevertheless, the noise in her ears was slowly becoming quieter, and she, somewhere in the distance, caught someone's voices.<br/>
"… under control. I'll take her, Anna."<br/>
"I am her captain, and she is my responsibility. So give it to me, I'll take care of it. And you go and continue your training."<br/>
The voices were painfully familiar, but the girl's foggy mind could not yet figure out who they belonged to. Anna felt something clench around her shoulders for a second, but then she heard a sigh and a quiet voice said:<br/>
"Yes, sir."<br/>
Some movement followed, causing pain to pierce her muscles again, and the girl moaned dully. Something strong grabbed her, not even allowing her to move. Anna tried to open her eyes again, and this time they gave in. Everything around was cloudy and indistinct, she could only see the outlines, but that black, like a crow's wing hair and this pale skin, like the collar of his frill, she recognized always and everywhere.<br/>
"C-Captain ..."<br/>
Her voice sounded so low and hoarse that she was not sure if he heard her at all. She blinked a couple of times so that the fog in front of her eyes cleared away and Levi's face became clearer. He looked at her, and she thought she saw fear in his eyes. But she immediately pulled herself together. This cannot be true. For Levi Ackerman to be afraid of something, and even afraid for her, the girl he hates. It's impossible. Most likely, it's just her still clouded mind playing with her and making her see what is not in reality. His voice was slightly louder than a whisper when he said:<br/>
"We're almost there, Anna. A little patience."<br/>
She slowly turned her head towards his face, but he had already turned away and was looking straight ahead. His hands around her shoulders were warm and gripped her tightly, which made her heart beat faster for some reason. He was so warm that Anna wanted to snuggle closer to him, completely immersed in this warmth. She didn't care where he was taking her and why. Her head could no longer remain raised and sank heavily on his shoulder, her eyes closed, and she unconsciously buried her nose in his neck, inhaling the smell of soap and black tea with the scent of bergamot. If it was just a dream, she wanted to stay in it longer. With this thought, Anna plunged into blackness again.<br/>
***<br/>
Waking up a second time, Anna thought that she was ready to kill anyone who dared to cause her to awaken. It didn't matter if it was an attack by the titans, or the end of the world, or whatever, nothing could be a compelling enough reason to wrest her out of such a deep and restful sleep. She didn’t even remember the last time she slept so sweetly - without dreams, without nightmares, without anxiety. It seems a thousand years have passed since then. It doesn't even matter that it may have been just a few minutes, but those were the best moments of her life. She felt so warm, so comfortable, so <i> good </i> that she almost moaned in frustration as her eyes slowly opened. Everything in front of her floated slowly, as if she had drunk too much, a sharp pain piercing her temples. The girl winced and raised her hand to rub the sore spot. A rustling sound caught her attention, and she gently turned her head in his direction, which made the pain worse.<br/>
The first thing she saw in front of her was Levi's face. He sat with his arms folded across his chest, his brows furrowed in his usual manner, and his lips were tightly compressed into a thin line. He was motionless, like a marble statue, he didn't even seem to breathe. The man looked at her, but the expression on his face could not tell what he was thinking.<br/>
Anna averted her gaze from the captain and looked around to figure out where the hell she was. Large wooden cabinets littered with books, shelves with all sorts of surgical instruments, complete chaos on the desktop in the form of a heap of crumpled sheets of paper, writing utensils and all kinds of unnecessary rubbish, which Anna could not even give a name to - all this indicated that she located in Hange's laboratory. She was not here very often, God somehow protected her from visiting this place. People were even afraid to pass by him, because only the Almighty knew what this crazy woman was doing here. Anna had nothing against Hange, on the contrary, she even liked her to some extent, but sometimes she could be too ... out of this world. When the girl found herself next to the laboratory, some excited screams of a woman were constantly heard from here, her loud voices, as if she were furiously arguing with someone, a crash, crackling, sometimes even crying. In general, Anna preferred to stay away from this place, because who knows what will get into Hange's head. This woman was nowhere to be seen. That could not but strain. The last thing I wanted to be in the room alone with Levi was, especially after the conversation they had less than 12 hours ago.<br/>
A girl tried to rise, which of course she immediately regretted when the pain reminded of itself again, piercing her skull with such force that she involuntarily gasped and hissed. The captain stretched out sharply in her direction, and she hoped that by some miracle she could become invisible. His voice was harsh, firm, and left no room for argument.<br/>
"Lie down and don't move. You have not yet fully come to your senses."<br/>
Anna froze halfway, but did as the man said and lay back down, only pulling herself up a little on her elbows to take a half-sitting position. She rubbed her eyes wearily, trying to ease the pain even a little, and then looked back at the man who was still gazing at her with his unreadable gaze.<br/>
"What happened?"<br/>
Levi sighed, his eyes softened a little, and Anna saw irritation in them mixed with something that the girl could not explain.<br/>
"You passed out during training. I brought you to Hange. She said it was overwork caused by lack of sleep and malnutrition. Your emaciated body could not cope with the physical stress. Nothing serious, you just need to eat and sleep."<br/>
Anna winced at Levi's words. His tone was neutral, not betraying any emotion, but there was a subtle tinge of reprimand here, as if the parents were scolding their child for some stupid offense. The girl understood that she herself had brought herself to such a state. Of course, sleepless nights were nothing new to her. Before she could lie awake all night, tossing and turning in bed and listening to the breathing of her peacefully sleeping friends, and in the morning to be on her feet without problems, and even survive Levi's workout after that. She got used to it, learned to cope with it, so that before no difficulties arose. But now the situation was completely different. She spent two nights in a row, without a wink of sleep, did not remember the last time she ate, and her nervous system was on the edge after the events of yesterday night. All of this together led to the fact that she passed out right in the middle of training, and Captain Levi had to drag her across the castle to Hange. The blood froze in her veins, her heart skipped a beat, and she swallowed a heavy and bitter lump in her throat. She had failed him again. She showed how weak she really was, worthless, worthless for anything. How did she allow it? Why does she make the same mistakes over and over again, tells herself that next time everything will be different, but nothing changes. Anger fills her, penetrates into every cell of her body, forcing her hands to shake, and her teeth bite into her lower lip, biting into blood, just not to scream in despair. Somehow, pulling herself together, Anna finds her voice, which trembles a little from barely restrained emotions, but she is glad that she was able to hide it, forcing herself to sound as firm as possible.<br/>
"I'm sorry, Captain. This won't happen again."<br/>
"Lying! This is a lie and you know it! " - screams an inner voice, from which she only squeezes the sheets with her fingers with such force that she practically hears the crackle of tearing fabric. She does not dare to look at Levi, afraid to see on his face what she has been trying so long and hard to get rid of. Disappointment. Contempt. Disgust. Hatred. His voice rips her out of his own thoughts.<br/>
"Why did you come to training in such a state? Why didn't she tell me? I'm your captain, damn it!"<br/>
At this Anna could not restrain herself, and a laugh escaped from her throat, which sounded somehow too insolent. She nevertheless raised her gaze to Levi, and was surprised that she saw no disappointment, no disgust, no hatred, only irritation and fatigue. The girl frowned and exclaimed sharply:<br/>
"And what should I say? "Sorry, captain, but I can't come to practice, I didn't get enough sleep?" What the fuck? I thought I could handle it. I've had bouts of insomnia before, but everything was fine. It's just that this time ..."<br/>
She abruptly fell silent, realizing that she could not finish this phrase. Anna could see that Levi must have understood what she meant by "this time," and his eyes widened a little in surprise, and his whole body tensed as if he were terribly uncomfortable. Anna did not want to start this conversation, because it hurts and is pointless. He's already said everything he wanted to, so what's the point in repeating? This will only bring her new bitterness, a new sleepless night and new disappointments. All she wants at the moment is to get a good night's sleep. The captain was right that her body has not yet recovered, and now her body wonders why she lies on a soft bed, covered with a warm blanket, her head rests on a pillow that resembles a huge cloud, and she still has not closed her eyes and fell asleep sound sleep, which was so rare and desirable for her. She expected the captain to reprimand her for raising her voice to her superior, yelling at her, doing anything to show her her place, as he always did, but this time he just kept silent, to her huge surprise. After a short pause, Levi opened his mouth to say something, but he was not given such an opportunity when the door opened abruptly and two flew into the room, like a hurricane, blowing away everything in its path. Anna did not even have time to react when two pairs of arms wrapped around her, squeezing her into a suffocating embrace, and the girl felt her bones crunch.<br/>
"Anna!"<br/>
Synchronously from both sides, the girls shouted right into her ears, which made her grimace painfully. The head was still shot with pain, and the whole body ached with fatigue. As the oxygen supply began to approach zero, and the hugs did not weaken, but became stronger, she croaked:<br/>
"I can't breathe."<br/>
Suddenly, two pairs of hands were gone, and she cleared her throat, gasping for air. When her breathing more or less returned to normal, she looked at her friends, who were now standing on either side of her bed, and their restless eyes were riveted to her. Anna bitterly thought that she did not deserve such friends who are ready to rush into any hell for her, who worry about her, help, protect her like no one else. She acted like the last egoist, ignored them, avoided them, refused to even look in their direction, and they did not even think to take offense at her. She wanted to cry, she wanted to shove them both into her arms and scream how much she was grateful to them, how much they meant to her, and how much she loved them. But now is not the time for that, she was too exhausted, and somehow she didn't really want to do it under Levi. She will still have time. The girl took another deep breath and nodded.<br/>
"I'm fine."<br/>
Anna understood that on some side it was a lie, because she felt disgusting, her whole body ached, as if she had been crushed by a stone, her head was buzzing, and the corpses probably did not look so pale in comparison with her. But she didn't want to make them worry any more. In the end, there was nothing terrible, she just needs to sleep, and she will feel like a person again. Anna shuddered at Levi's harsh voice and turned to look at him. He didn’t look too pleased.<br/>
"I told you to stay on the field."<br/>
But he was ignored, as if he was not there at all. The girls sat down on the bed on which Anna lay, anxiety still clearly visible on their faces.<br/>
"We fucking almost went crazy with excitement! When you fell, I thought my heart would stop!"<br/>
Julie looked a little pale, her eyes shone feverishly, and Anna felt her hands shake as the girl's hand covered her own.<br/>
"Everything is fine, really. I'm just a little tired, I need to sleep, and I'll be fine ..."<br/>
"Anna, forgive me!"<br/>
The girl looked at Sina in surprise. She looked terrible, with red eyes that were full of tears, and flowed down her cheeks, leaving wet paths, with trembling lips, and sobs escaped from her throat every now and then. Sina rushed at her friend again, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and burying her face in her neck, making Anna's shirt soaked in tears in a matter of seconds.<br/>
"Sina, what are you sorry for? It's not your fault!"<br/>
The girl just shook her head and squeezed Anna tighter in her arms.<br/>
"No, it's all my fault. If only I hadn't forced you to help me, if I hadn't gone to this fucking basement, then everything would be fine, and you wouldn't have brought yourself to such a thing! Please, Anna, forgive me!"<br/>
A new fit of sobbing with even greater force covered Sina, and she was already choking on tears on her friend's neck while she rocked her back and forth like a child, stroking her back soothingly.<br/>
"It's okay, I don't blame you for anything. It's not your fault, can you hear me? Come on, Sina, calm down."<br/>
It is not known how long they would have sat like this, embracing and clinging to each other, if Levi's harsh voice had not broken this idyll.<br/>
“Would you like to tell me what Sina meant?"<br/>
Deathly silence fell in the room, even the birds outside the window were silent. The girls held their breath, afraid to move. Sina fell silent too, her sobs subsiding at the sound of her brother's voice as quickly as they began. Anna swore to herself. She forgot that Levi knew nothing, and should not know anything, because the original plan was that no living soul would know that Sina was going down to Eren's basement, and especially Levi should not have found out. But nevertheless, Anna noted with satisfaction that she still managed to distract him well then, that he did not suspect anything. Even though she paid a lot for it. But it doesn't matter now. We urgently need to figure out what to do now, how to explain Sina's words to him so as not to blabber? Sina slowly let go of Anna, wiping the remnants of tears from her reddened cheeks, but did not dare to turn to Levi, remaining facing Anna and bowing her head down. Several long, even too long minutes passed, but no one spoke up, so the captain just sighed and got up from the chair on which he had been sitting all this time.<br/>
"Does not matter. Anna, today you are discharging from training. Go get something to eat and then sleep. And I'll be waiting for you two on the field in 10 minutes. No delays."<br/>
With that, he turned around and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him. The girls exhaled with relief. Anna looked first at Julie, then at Sina and realized that they were feeling about the same now. Not knowing what else to say, Anna smiled at them and said:<br/>
"You have to go. Otherwise, you will earn several dozen extra laps for being late."<br/>
The friends smiled back and stood up. Julie was already heading for the door, but Sina continued to stand still, nervously fingering the hem of her jacket. When Anna was about to ask what was the matter, the girl looked at her resolutely.<br/>
"I'll talk to him. I'll tell you everything about what happened last night."<br/>
Anna frowned in response. Why would she do this? If Levi finds out the truth, then they all, but especially Sina, will have big problems. You can just come up with some excuse, blame everything on the fact that she was too scared, said some nonsense. Anna didn’t think Levi would believe them, but she wouldn’t ask any further either.<br/>
"You don’t have to do this."<br/>
Sina just shook her head and shrugged.<br/>
"He still would know someday. I've already let it slip anyway. Better to let him find out from me."<br/>
Anna did not understand why she wanted to tell him so much, but did not insist. Sometimes Sina's actions defied any logical explanation, but it was for this that she loved her friend so much. Sleepiness fell on her, and she, with the last of her strength, forced her eyes to remain open. Anna waved to her friends and said:<br/>
"I'll see you after training, okay? Try to survive by this time."<br/>
Sina and Julie just laughed and, leaving at last "take care of yourself", hastily left the room.<br/>
Anna could have slept right here, after all, what difference does it make, but she thought it would be better to go back to her room after all, in case Hange decides to do some next experiment, and in her own bed there was somehow calmer. So, without thinking twice, she got up and went to the door, but it opened itself, letting in the major, who, when she looked at Anna, smiled broadly.<br/>
"Oh, Anna! Did you wake up. And I was just going to check how you are. Levi stayed with you until I get back."<br/>
The woman entered the room, carrying in her hands a parcel, in which Anna was even afraid to imagine what could be. The girl thought that she had decided to leave in time. Hange placed her burden carefully on the table and turned to her.<br/>
"By the way, where is he?"<br/>
Anna just shrugged.<br/>
"He left. The captain told me that I passed out during training."<br/>
Hange nodded her head in the affirmative.<br/>
"Yes, he brought you to me about 30 minutes ago, pale as a sheet. Knocked down the door and yelled at me to "do something as fast as fucking before I feed you to your fucking titans!" I mean, you scared him like hell, Anna."<br/>
With each Hange's word, Anna's eyes widened, thinking that she was either crazy if she heard this, or she was so exhausted that her head was already malfunctioning, and she was already hallucinating from fatigue. How can this be? Levi scared? Because of her? No, this is nonsense, sheer nonsense. A person who hates her so much cannot worry about her. Is not it? Then why did he carry her to Hanji himself? Why did he sit with her while the major was not in the room? Anna didn't know what to think after that. She wanted to believe the woman's words, but she didn't want to give herself hope. It didn't mean anything, he was just her captain, and she was his subordinate, he just felt responsibility, that's all, no more, no less. But somewhere inside her, a warm feeling settled down, which so pleasantly warmed her heart from the realization that Levi had helped her after all, despite his words, despite his attitude. Perhaps someday, in the distant future, if she remains alive, he will still change and forgive her ...<br/>
Anna was so deeply immersed in her thoughts that she did not even hear Hange's chatter, and only when she called her by her name a couple of times, the girl woke up and assured the major that she would take into account everything that she said to her, although she did not remember a single word of her. Thanking the woman for everything she had done for her, Anna left the laboratory and went to her room. She didn't want to think about anything else, her only thought was to quickly get to bed.<br/>
***<br/>
Anna woke up when it was already evening and the sun, casting its last rays on the ground, was hiding behind the horizon. The girl stretched sweetly in bed, feeling her bones crunch and every muscle in her body tense. She felt so good, she was rested, rejuvenated and ready to move mountains. But a loud rumbling in her stomach, which was probably heard even behind the wall, interrupted her plans. Glancing around, Anna noticed that Sina and Julie hadn't returned yet, so she had time to go and grab something to eat. Quickly getting out of bed, the girl put on her jacket and hurried downstairs.<br/>
The dining room was empty, apparently, she woke up before dinner. The girl wondered if they would give her food at all, because it was strictly forbidden to distribute anything other than strictly assigned portions at certain times of the day. But her stomach grumbled inexorably, demanding at least something edible, making the sounds of a dying animal, so Anna decisively headed towards the kitchen. Surprisingly, food was given to her without unnecessary questions and persuasion, which could not but rejoice. Apparently the captain or major had warned the cooks to be allowed to eat without the others. Anna has never been so grateful. Taking away warm food, from the very smell of which the girl salivated, and her stomach was ready to eat itself if something was not urgently thrown into it, Anna almost ran back to her room, where she immediately pounced on the food.<br/>
As she finished her last bite of stew, the door flew open and Sina and Julie appeared in the doorway. Glancing at the girls, Anna realized that the training session today was especially tough. Both looked as if they were about to die of blood loss. Pale, with huge circles under their eyes that were larger than the eyes themselves, they barely dragged their feet. They collapsed onto the bed Anna was occupying, and they groaned loudly, and Julie whispered, "God, just let me die." Anna moved over to give her friends more space and said:<br/>
"I see the training was a success."<br/>
Sina rolled over onto her stomach and muttered into the pillow:<br/>
"Shut the fuck up, or I swear to God, I'll strangle you."<br/>
Anna rolled her eyes and shoved the remaining potato into her mouth. There was nothing surprising in the state of her friends. As for the training, Levi absolutely did not spare them in this, always saying that: "If you can not stand it, then in the army you have nothing to fucking do." Anna knew that to some extent he was right, the soldiers must always be in great physical shape to survive during the sorties, but sometimes he is too cruel to them when they literally crawled out to dinner after training. Julie got up a little and looked at Anna.<br/>
"Today, when you were not there, he seemed to be loose. He made Gunther do push-ups while he sat on his back."<br/>
Anna just snorted at that.<br/>
"Apparently, there was no one to come off as usual, so he decided to come off on you."<br/>
Sina finally raised her head and looked anxiously at Anna.<br/>
"How do you feel?"<br/>
Anna smiled softly at her. Her friend was always like that, first worried about others, and only then about herself. Even being on the verge of death and bleeding, she will first ask how you are. The girl shook her head and bent down to pick up little Fury, who was meowing in displeasure, demanding attention. When the kitten was on the bed, he curled up in a ball beside Sina and immediately sniffled. Anna leaned back on the head of the bed and said:<br/>
"I'm better. I've never slept so well."<br/>
Sina nodded in satisfaction and lowered her head back to the bed, scratching Fury's ear. There was silence in the room, and there was only a soft purr. Anna thought that there was no better moment and, taking a deep breath, spoke:<br/>
"I want to apologize to you for my behavior. I know it was terrible and that I was disgusting. I'm a terrible friend, and I don't deserve you a bit. I just needed time to recover. It's not an excuse, but I'm really sorry."<br/>
Anna with bated breath waited for the girls' reaction. She was afraid that they would start yelling at her, although she fully realized that she deserved it. The girl listened to her heart beating a frantic rhythm until Julie was the first to voice:<br/>
"Anna, we don't blame you for anything. We all understand. It was difficult for you, and you wanted to be alone. There is nothing to forgive here."<br/>
The girl looked at Julie gratefully and saw that she was smiling at her. There was no anger or resentment on her face, only understanding and boundless support. Anna's eyes stung from the rising tears, and her throat stung. In order not to cry completely, she often blinked, and then smiled back at Julie. But then her friend's face turned serious and she asked in a low voice:<br/>
"What happened last night?"<br/>
Anna's hands trembled, as did the corners of her lips, and her smile slipped from her face. She lowered her head and bit her lip. One memory makes her heart squeeze painfully, and cold runs down her spine. But Julie and Sina have a right to know, although Sina must have heard most of the conversation. Maybe it will be easier for her if she tells everything? There is only one way to find out. The girl looked up and met eyes with worried brown.<br/>
"When Sina went down to the basement, I stayed at the door, in case someone walks by to distract them. Of course, it should have been Levi. He saw me and came up, asking what I was doing here. Then there was laughter from the basement, and he heard it, so I had to quickly figure out how to distract him. The only thing that came to my mind was to start another quarrel. So that's what I did. She started yelling at him, called him a coward and asked why he hated me so much. In response, he said that he would never forgive me for the fact that Sina almost died because of me, and no matter how hard I tried, his opinion would not change. Then I said that I hate him, and he replied that at least something we agree."<br/>
At the end, Anna's voice broke, her body shook with a small tremor, she stared blankly at the wall, forgetting where she was and completely immersed in her memories. When she was silent, a sob escaped her throat, and a tear ran down her cheek, which soon turned into two, and then into three, and soon she could no longer restrain herself, could not stop the frantic stream of tears. The girls looked at their crying friend. It was such a rare sight to see Anna cry. If she ever cried, it was on her own, when no one could see it. And now it was as if something inside her had broken, she had kept it to herself for so long, and now she didn't care, she just wanted to throw this heavy burden off her shoulders.<br/>
Julie and Sina, without saying a word, without even exchanging a single glance, simultaneously embrace Anna, and she bursts into tears even more, her sobs grow louder, she clings to her friends, as if she were hanging over an abyss on only one rope, and now they have become this very rope for her, and if she lets go of her, she will break, so her grip becomes stronger, almost painful, but they do not pay attention to it, continuing to hold her in their hands.<br/>
"Why? Why is he doing this to me ?! I’m doing everything in my power! I'm <i> ready to die for him </i>, so why the fuck doesn't he see this ?!"<br/>
Her voice is interrupted by fits of tears, she gasps for breath, but repeats this one word "why" over and over again, like a mantra. The girls pat her on the head, whispering to her that everything is in order, that she is not to blame for anything, that everything will be fine, but she just shakes her head and continues to cry. The pleasant scent of lilac fills her lungs. Anna thought she would recognize Sina out of a thousand by this smell.<br/>
Whether a few minutes or several hours had passed, Anna did not know for sure, but in the end her sobs subsided, her breathing slowed down, but her fingers continued to grip the shape of her friends. When she completely calmed down, the girl released her grip and pulled back a little. Anna wiped away the tears that still glittered in her eyes with trembling palms, and whispered in a hoarse voice:<br/>
"I'm sorry, I just ..."<br/>
"Anna, do you like Levi?"<br/>
The girl froze. It seemed to her that time had stopped, and deathly silence hung in the room. Her hand froze near her face, and she could not even lower it, as if she had forgotten how to do it. She turned slowly towards Sina and almost inaudibly asked:<br/>
"W-what?"<br/>
Sina looked at her with a strange determination and firmness in her eyes. There was no doubt or hesitation here, as if she knew the answer for sure. She paused briefly and then repeated her question, emphasizing each word.<br/>
"Do. you. like. Levi?"<br/>
And then the ceiling fell on Anna. Everything around her spun so fast that she had to grab Sina's arm, looking for support, because she was sure she would have fallen otherwise. Her eyes looked blankly at her friends, trying to find an answer from them. Her breathing was hampered, and for a split second she forgot how to breathe. Did she like Levi? No, It is Impossible. How can she like him? She hated him for treating her like that. She knew it. If she liked him, she would understand it, right? But she just wanted his confession, wanted him to trust her, wanted him to be proud of her ... But why? Why did she want it so much? She couldn't find the answer to that question, no matter how much she tried. <i> The girl thought it was natural, when you made a mistake, you try to fix it. </i> But she corrected it long ago. Sina forgave her. So why was she so eager to win Levi's recognition? Doesn't she really care? Why does she care? Sina's words echoed in her head over and over and over again. <i> "Anna, do you like Levi?" </i> Did she really like the captain? She remembered him, his voice, his face, his actions. How he always frowns, how he pronounces his favorite "Tsk" when he is annoyed, how his gaze softens when he looks at Sina, his squad, how he tries to pretend that he is a heartless bastard, but at the same time he allows  keep this "bald, dirty cat", and then feeds him himself, when no one sees how his body shivers, and pain splashes in his eyes when he looks at the corpse of his soldier during sorties, although he tries to hide it, how during the battle, he gives all of himself, rushes with fury at the titans, as he always smells of soap and his favorite black tea, which he can drink endlessly. Why does she remember all this, all these little details? Is she ...<br/>
"I…"<br/>
A knock on the door makes her jump in place. She lifts her head sharply and looks in dismay at the one who is standing now, leaning at ease on the doorframe. Her heart skips a beat and her lips dry. Levi stares at her in bewilderment, one thin eyebrow raised. Anna cannot look away, she stares at him like a prey looks at a predator. She does not think about what she looks like now, at least strange. With red, puffy eyes, her cheeks wet with tears, pale as death, she looked like she saw a ghost. Levi didn’t say anything to this, just said in an even voice:<br/>
"Erwin asked you to come to him. He wants to talk."<br/>
At these words, it was as if Anna was slapped in the face so that she would come to herself. She blinked slowly a couple of times, and then understanding descended on her. Erwin. She didn't even think about him. Of course, Hange or Levi himself will tell him about what happened today during training. She's not just a soldier, but also his niece. Of course he will want to know what happened. "Oh fuck, how can I explain everything to him?" Anna mentally groaned, and looked pleadingly at her friends, as if they could get her out of this situation. But they did not answer, only smiled encouragingly, and the girl realized that there was no way out. She got out of bed and walked towards Levi, who was waiting for her at the door all this time. When the girl approached him, he gave her a studying look and again arched an eyebrow, as if to say, "Do you want to tell me anything?", But Anna, ignoring the dumb question, turned away and stared at the wall, trying to look as at ease as possible. Levi, apparently realizing that they were not going to explain anything to him, turned around and headed away, to which Anna exhaled with relief. She will deal with him and her sudden feelings later. While she has better things to do.<br/>
All the way to Erwin's office, Anna feverishly wondered how she would explain to her uncle why she suddenly fainted in the middle of a warm-up, although this had never happened before, and she could withstand any load that the captain gave her. Naturally, she was not going to tell the truth, but she could not lie either, because, firstly, it was absolutely pointless, and Erwin would see through her within two minutes of the conversation, and secondly, she did not want to lie to her own uncle ... As a result, she decided that she would simply keep silent about some of the details, or rather, about the fact that she shouted at the captain, and he replied that he hated her, and because of this she brought herself to a faint. No, definitely not worth talking about. Therefore, approaching the door, behind which was already such a familiar office, she practically did not worry, only a small shiver ran through her body from time to time. The girl drew more air into her lungs and, gathering all her will into a fist, knocked twice. Almost immediately after that, she heard a short "come in" and opened the door.<br/>
When Erwin saw her, he immediately got up from his chair and quickly walked towards her, concern was clearly visible on his face, blue eyes scanned her face in search of something that would tell him about her well-being. And apparently they found it, because the next second the Commander grabbed her shoulders with his wide palms and squeezed gently.<br/>
"Anna, what happened? You are ill? You feel bad?"<br/>
The girl saw how emotions replace one another on this usually unemotional face, eyes dart back and forth over her face, hands squeeze her shoulders even more. Anna hadn't seen Erwin like this often. Usually he always wears this impenetrable mask, by which it was never possible to guess about his true feelings. The girl knew that he was the Commander and must always maintain composure, sobriety of thought and not give out his emotions, no matter what happened. Anna understood this. Therefore, they usually do not express their feelings about each other so openly. They do not hug in a family way, do not call each other "uncle and nephew," and even that would look stupid, in Anna's opinion. She always called him by name when they were alone, and he had nothing against it. When Anna joined the Intelligence Corps, Erwin told her that she was free to talk about who she was and what kind of relationship they had, but the girl chose not to talk about it, and the man respected her decision. Therefore, only a small circle of faces knew that she was Erwin Smith's niece, and those who did not know did not even know about it, because outwardly they did not look alike, and you never know there are namesakes in the world, this was not nothing unusual.<br/>
Now, looking at Erwin, her heart sank with longing, because he looked very much like her father, when he looked at her with such anxiety, with such <i> love </i> that she wanted to burst into tears again. The first time after the death of her parents, she felt insanely lonely. She lacked the affectionate glances of her mother, her gentle hands and warm smiles. There was not enough loud laughter from dad, his constant jokes. She missed the quiet evenings by the fireplace, when the three of them gathered by the fire and discussed everything that happened during the day. Dad used to complain about something, indignant, like "it used to be good, but now wherever you look, there are only thieves and fraudsters." Then Anna began to argue with him for a long time and stubbornly, dad continued to defend his point of view, and mom just shook her head and silently watched their skirmish. The girl would give everything to return at least one more time to this evening, filled with peace and happiness. Yes, now she was not alone, she had wonderful friends who became her family, she has an uncle who always looks after her and takes care of her like her own daughter, albeit not so clearly demonstrating this. She was so grateful to him for everything he had done. Anna was scared to imagine what would have happened to her if then he had not believed her and simply thrown out of the Survey Service. She doubts she would have survived at all. Someday she would repay him for everything, she swore to herself so. Anna shook her head and smiled.<br/>
"No, I'm fine, Erwin, really. I assume you have already been informed of what happened this morning?"<br/>
The man, not too convinced of her words, nevertheless pulled back a little and dropped his hands from her shoulders. He turned and walked towards the couch, gesturing for Anna to follow him. The girl obeyed and followed Erwin, sitting down on the soft sofa and leaning her head back against his back. She loved this sofa. The entire headquarters did not have such a soft and comfortable sofa as in the office of the Commander. If she could, she would lie on it day and night, perhaps then her insomnia would not torment her so much. Erwin dropped down behind her, and Anna looked at him, one eye slightly open.<br/>
"Yes, Levi told me that you passed out while jogging and that he took you to Hange. He also said that it was nothing serious, you just need to rest because you didn't sleep well last night. This is true?"<br/>
Despite the fact that standing at Erwin's office she was practically not worried, now, sitting under his gaze, Anna hoped that Erwin had not noticed how her breathing was quickening, how her heart was beating furiously in her chest. The girl wanted Levi to initially not say anything to Erwin, but simply pretended that this incident had not happened. But she understood that he could not do this, because Erwin was the Commander, his immediate superior, so he must be aware of what is happening in the Survey Corps with his soldiers, and she is first of all a soldier, and then only a relative. But the fact that she is a relative was also the reason, because any uncle should know if his niece becomes ill. So she couldn't really blame Levi for doing the right thing by telling Erwin everything.<br/>
She just now needs to truthfully and without unnecessary details about last night explain to him the reason for her fainting. She closed her eyes and sighed, trying to keep her voice as even and calm as possible.<br/>
"Insomnia. Don't worry, this has happened before. It will pass."<br/>
Erwin tilted his head slightly to the side.<br/>
'Have you missed breakfast before too?"<br/>
Anna froze, unable to move and afraid to even look at Erwin so as not to betray her excitement. "Did you tell him about this detail too?" The girl raised her head and looked at the wall, just not to meet her uncle's gaze, otherwise she was finished.<br/>
"I just had no appetite."<br/>
There was a silence between them, and Anna counted the seconds, listening to her own heartbeat and waiting for Erwin to say something. Of course, he understood that she was not saying something, anyone would understand that. Skipping meals for a soldier was very risky, because they need a lot of strength and energy, otherwise you simply cannot cope with the titans. The girl knew that when she skipped breakfast, she acted stupidly and irresponsibly, because if it was not a training session, but an outing, then she would expose not only herself, but others as well. But at that moment she simply did not reason sensibly, she was depressed, and from any thought of food her stomach twisted, even though she had eaten the last time a long time ago.<br/>
"Anna, is there any reason why I should worry that this will happen again?"<br/>
Her heart skipped a beat, and Anna had to restrain herself so as not to scream “Yes! Yes, there is one fucking reason, and I don't know what to do with it! " Pictures began to pop up in Anna's memory again - gray eyes filled with anger, pale cheekbones, sharper than any blade, black silky hair falling on her face and tickling her cheeks, and words that hurt her heart, so deep inside that now they will forever remain there and will remind her of their mistake again and again until death. The girl had to shake her head a little to drive away the cold voice in her head, whispering in her ear that he would never forgive her. Anna straightened and looked Erwin straight in the eye.<br/>
"You don't have to worry about me, Erwin. I can handle."<br/>
The man looked at Anna for a long time and probingly, noticing every detail, every emotion slipping on her face. Starting with a subtle twitching of the lips and ending with a tremor of eyelashes. In the end, he just sighed, not hoping to get any more answers from her.<br/>
“Just promise me that if something happens, you will come to me right away. No matter day or night, busy or not, whatever it is, Anna, I will help you."<br/>
She wanted to scream, wanted to throw herself on his neck and tell him a thousand times; "Thank you" until he gets hoarse or loses his voice. How did she deserve such a person? What did she do in her past life so that higher powers would endow her with an uncle like Erwin? The girl swallowed tears that threatened to flow from her eyes. She's been crying too much lately. Anna nodded and smiled at him with her happiest and most grateful smile.<br/>
"I promise."<br/>
Returning to her room, she felt much lighter, not so lonely. The conversation with Erwin gave her strength. Although he had said something similar before, it was important for her to hear it right now, when she is not sure of anything, is entangled in her own feelings and really needs support. Yes, Sina and Julie supported her as best they could, for which she was incredibly grateful to them, but she also wanted to feel that she had someone to go to besides them. To the last blood relative who remained with her after the death of her parents. Because when she is next to Erwin, it is as if she hears the smell of the house again, sees the faces of her father and mother and feels their warmth. The man actually replaced her parents, which is why it was so important for her to know that he was always there. Sometimes she felt like such a child, as if she was again 15 years old and did not have those long five years, during which her life turned to where she could not even imagine. She felt defenseless, a little girl who had just survived the death of her parents and had no idea what to do next and who to ask for help. Although she is no longer the same girl, she has experienced a lot, seen a lot, but this feeling still remains with her. And she hated it.<br/>
Returning to her room, she saw that her friends were waiting for her, remaining in the same position as before she left, only their hair was damp, and the girl realized that they had recently washed.<br/>
When they asked her how it went, she briefly told them about her conversation with Erwin, and then said that it was time for them all to sleep, because the day was long and damn hard. No one had the strength or the desire to argue, so wishing each other sweet dreams, they went to their beds and instantly fell asleep.<br/>
In the morning, Anna woke up happy, slept and ready for anything in the world. She had never slept for so long in her life as she had all this day, which was very unusual, but not to say that it was unpleasant, but quite the opposite. Sina and Julie, after a hard workout, refused to get out of bed, burrowing deeper into the blanket, and Anna was barely able to push them apart, intimidating that if they did not come to training, Levi would torture them so much that the previous one would seem like heaven on earth. This, of course, worked, and the girls reluctantly got up, muttering curses at the captain under their breath. Anna only grinned at this. Throughout the morning, they did not say a word about yesterday's conversation and about Sina's question, which unsettled Anna. Anna didn't think too much about it yesterday because she just didn't have the time and energy to think about it.<br/>
Due to the fact that Anna had to push her friends and force them to get out of bed, they came to breakfast a little later than usual. All were already assembled and devoured their portions of food. The girls sat down in their usual place, Petra and the other members of the squad were not visible, apparently they had already eaten and were now waiting at the training field. There were not so many people left in the dining room, so it was rather quiet, compared to the din, which usually stood here so strong that the girls sometimes had to scream to hear each other. Now there was peace and quiet, only a few scraps of conversations periodically reached them. There was enough time before the workout started, so the girls took their time enjoying this quiet, calm morning.<br/>
"What kind of hell do you think awaits us today?"<br/>
Julie tore off small pieces of bread and put them in her mouth one by one. She looked inquiringly at her friends, expecting an answer to her question. Sina shrugged and brushed the crumbs off her jacket.<br/>
"The same as always. Although today Levi should be softer, because Anna is back, and again he can take out all his anger on her."<br/>
Anna snorted in response and rolled her eyes.<br/>
"I'm glad that I can help you with something."<br/>
Julie, after chewing the remaining bread, looked anxiously at Anna.<br/>
"By the way, how are you feeling?"<br/>
Anna smiled at her friend and raised her thumb up.<br/>
"Excellent. I am full of strength and ready to show this short man who is in charge here."<br/>
A short laugh escaped Sina's chest, and she looked at Anna with amusement in her eyes.<br/>
"Just don't tell him that, otherwise you will run for the rest of your life."<br/>
"I've been doing this for the last few years, nothing will scare me."<br/>
"Well, Levi doesn't think so."<br/>
"Levi can go and kiss me on ..."<br/>
"Hey, Sina."<br/>
The girls simultaneously raised their heads and stared at the one who was now standing next to them, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. Eren looked embarrassed, but there was a smile on his face and his green eyes glowed so brightly that for a second Anna thought she would go blind if she stared into them for too long. The girl saw how Sina smiled sweetly at Eren, which made him covered with a barely noticeable blush.<br/>
"Hi Eren. How are you?"<br/>
The guy cleared his throat and scratched his head, his smile widened, revealing snow-white teeth. It's too bright, Anna thought to herself, even the sun seems dim compared to it.<br/>
"Fine. Do you mind if I sit down?"<br/>
His voice at the end sounded low and uncertain, as if at any moment the girls could fall on him with screams and kicks for even thinking about it. At first Anna was surprised, but then she remembered how the guy was received in court, and then in the headquarters itself. They feared him, did not trust him, feared him. The people who saw Eren as an ordinary person, and not a monster, could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Anna could not blame those who were wary of the boy, because not every day you meet a person who can turn into a titanium. Where is the guarantee that he will not turn as a titan right now and devour all of them? Of course, the girl understood that this was nonsense. If he wanted to, he would have done it earlier. But they're still alive, so it's obvious this guy is completely harmless. But not all soldiers understand this. They glance at Eren as he walks by, whispering behind him, not even trying to hide it. Anna perfectly understood that no one would want to sit with him at the same table. And Eren understood this, so he approached them, not even being sure that they would accept him. Yes, Sina treated him humanly, but this does not mean that she and Julie will also be.<br/>
Even so, he took a risk. After all, who wants to sit alone with suspicious looks and whispers from all sides? Sina waved her hand and moved to make room for Eren.<br/>
"Of course not! Sit down."<br/>
Eren breathed a sigh of relief and hurried to sit in the seat vacated by Sina. He turned to her, and Anna was about to swear that his eyes sparkled.<br/>
"Thank you. I overslept, so my friends are already gone."<br/>
Sina giggled, turning away from Eren and taking up the leftover food again.<br/>
"Familiar situation. By the way, Eren, you already know Julie, and this is Anna."<br/>
The guy turned to Anna, who had been studying him intently all this time. Ehren scratched the back of his head awkwardly and smiled at the girl, holding out his hand.<br/>
"Hey Anna. My name is Eren Yeager. Very nice to meet you."<br/>
The girl studied the outstretched hand for a couple of seconds, and then smiled back and shook his hand.<br/>
"Mutually, Eren. I'm Anna Smith. I was looking forward to getting to know you. It's not fucking every day that Sina risks her ass to help someone in court, and then risks all of our asses to go down to the basement and see you. Apparently you're fucking special."<br/>
From Anna's words, Sina's cheeks turned red and she stared at her friend in shock, but she ignored her, continuing to look at Eren, a predatory smile played on her lips.<br/>
"Fuck, Anna!"<br/>
The girl turned to Sina in mock surprise, but a playful sparkle danced in her eyes.<br/>
"What? Did I say something wrong?"<br/>
Sina just looked at her friend pleadingly, mentally asking her not to say anything more, and Anna had an irresistible temptation to tease her still, but seeing poor Sina looking at her almost with tears in her eyes, fidgeting in her place, red with shame, Anna only sighed ... Eren, in turn, was not much different from Sina, his cheeks also glowed, and his eyes looked anywhere, but not at her. In the end, the guy cleared his throat in embarrassment and looked at Anna.<br/>
"Um, Anna, I saw you fainted yesterday at training. Are you okay?"<br/>
The girl visibly tensed at Eren's words. She didn't really want to talk about it, trying to erase this episode from her memory as quickly as possible. Anna turned her eyes to her friends, and noticed how they looked at her uneasily in response, as if asking if she was okay. The girl, without answering them, looked at Eren and smiled, said:<br/>
"I'm fine, don't worry. Just the usual overwork. But now I have slept and I feel much better."<br/>
After that, Eren just nodded and they continued to eat. A conversation started between Julie, Eren and Sina, they were discussing something vigorously, occasionally laughing. Anna was studying Eren at this time. Something about this guy haunted her. He looked vaguely familiar, as if she had seen him somewhere before. But where? She couldn't remember. He was several years younger than her, so they could not meet in the cadet corps. Maybe somewhere in the city? She felt that the answer was on the surface, it was spinning on the tip of her tongue, but before she could understand it was eluding her. Suddenly, something tingled in her mind, and she, frowning, exclaimed sharply:<br/>
"Eren, please repeat your last name."<br/>
All three fell silent, looking inquiringly at Anna, but she was focused on the boy, who stared at her with his bright green eyes, expressing so many emotions at the same time. Perplexity, curiosity, distrust, doubt. Eren hesitated for a couple of seconds, but then still answered:<br/>
"Yeager."<br/>
And then it dawned on her. Her eyes widened in surprise and shock, she forgot for a second how to breathe. Could this be just a coincidence? Pure coincidence? After all, how many people in the world with such a surname, what is the percentage that Eren ...<br/>
"Your father is not Grisha Yeager?"<br/>
Now it was Eren's turn to be surprised. He jumped up so quickly that the table shook, and the plate of food, which he brushed away with his hand in the process, hit loudly on the stone floor, which attracted the attention of everyone who was now in the dining room. They looked in their direction with apprehension, someone fearfully backed away towards the exit, trying to get away as quickly as possible, but Eren didn't care, he grabbed the edge of the table tightly, his eyes were fixed on Anna.<br/>
"H-how do you know?"<br/>
Now everything fell into place. Why he seemed so familiar, as if some ghost of the past had come to her to remind her of what she had lost and could never return again, no matter how hard she tried. The girl looked at Eren, and more and more he reminded her of Grisha, whom she had seen only a couple of times. With his dark chocolate hair, just like Eren's, with his soft smile and kind eyes. What happened to him? Is he dead? Killed the same way as her parents? What about his wife? Anna did not remember her name, but she was a sweet woman, always cheerful and smiling. Is she dead too? This thought made Anna feel bad, her insides went cold, and a shiver ran through her body.<br/>
"My parents and I often went to your father for medicines. He helped my mom when she had a fever. She nearly died then."<br/>
Anna saw Eren's face turn pale, horror mixed with despair in his eyes. She didn't need to read his mind to realize that right now, pictures from the past were floating in front of his eyes. The same ones that pop up now in her. Pain, fear, death, despair. This is beyond words. You seem to be sucked into a cold, bottomless abyss, and you can not do anything, just watch how your body disappears into this blackness. Eren's lips move, at first not a single sound comes out, and then, swallowing, he practically asks in a whisper:<br/>
"Are you from Shiganshina?"<br/>
At the mere name of her hometown, the place where her childhood was destroyed, her happy life, she cringes. It is at the same time such a sweet and such a bitter word. The pictures are becoming brighter, clearer and clearer, the cries of people, the sound of heavy footsteps, and the crunch of bones are in the ears. She thought she had lived through it all, had dealt with the memories and that they no longer had power over her. But blood, blood everywhere, severed limbs, insides smeared on the ground, and it seems to her that she will vomit now. The smell of blood clogs her nose, she can't breathe. Mama's face covered in mud and blood. Where does the blood on mom's face come from? She smiles, and then the smile is replaced by a mask of pain, and she screams, screams. Or is it Anna? She turns her head and sees dad whispering something to her, but she cannot make out the words, and then dad is gone, and instead of him there is emptiness. She runs to him, runs to her mother, but they are nowhere to be found, only cold, and pain, and emptiness ...<br/>
Anna flinches when Julie touches her hand. She looks at her in shock, her eyes large and filled with anxiety and fear. The girl gently shakes her hand, her voice quiet and soothing.<br/>
"Anna? Are you okay?"<br/>
Anna takes a deep breath, trying to calm her pounding heart and out of breath. She closes her eyes, takes another breath, and nods.<br/>
"It's okay."<br/>
She then turns to Eren, who is still standing and looks at her with surprised eyes.<br/>
"Yes, I'm from Shiganshina ... We have to go, otherwise we might be late for training."<br/>
The girl, without waiting for an answer, gets up and goes to the exit from the dining room. Julie, Sina and Eren stare after her, but then Sina touches the guy on the shoulder. Shock is still in his eyes as Eren turns to look at her as she says in a soft voice:<br/>
"I think you have a lot to discuss."<br/>
For a couple of seconds, Eren just stands and looks at the girl, as if not understanding what she means. But in the end she nods slowly. They really have a lot to discuss. All three quickly get up and follow Anna, who has already left the dining room. All the way, Sina could not stop being nervous. She knew perfectly well that Anna hated talking about her past, because it was too painful for her. She also knew that the girl was suffering from nightmares. Sina saw Anna tossing and turning in bed at night, moans and sobs escaped from her throat, she tears the sheets with her nails because she clings to them so strongly. This happens very often, and the girl can do nothing to help her friend. What she experienced then in Shiganshina is so easy not to forget, not to throw away like unnecessary trash. Sina understood that these memories would haunt her until the end of her days. As they approached the field, Eren suddenly spoke up.<br/>
"What happened to her?"<br/>
Sina looked at him in surprise. She knew it was about Anna. Can she tell him? After all, this is not her story, she cannot just take and blurt out something so personal to someone. But Eren went through the same thing. He was there, saw everything with his own eyes. He knows what it is like when your nightmares become real. And even she, Sina, will never be able to understand Anna the way Eren understands her, no matter how sad it was to admit it. The girl turned away and looked down at the ground.<br/>
"Her parents were eaten before her eyes."<br/>
She felt Eren flinch next to her, as if lightning had pierced his body. She did not dare to raise her head, because it seemed to her that she got into something else, as if she had revealed someone's secret without permission. Although Anna had never asked them to keep it a secret, Sina still felt a punch of guilt. Eren didn’t answer, and Sina decided to continue.<br/>
"I can’t tell you more because I’m not entirely sure she wants to. She will tell you herself when she is ready."<br/>
Eren said nothing again, and they walked the rest of the way in silence. Approaching the training field, they saw Anna, who was talking about something with Petra and the others. A warmth spread in Sina's chest at the sight of her friend, who smiles and even laughs, although a couple of minutes ago she looked like a walking corpse. Sina was seriously scared then, thinking that she would again have to lead her to Hange. But now Anna seemed to be in perfect order, her skin was not so pale, the tension in her body was gone, she looked calm and relaxed. Sina involuntarily exhaled, and a smile touched her lips.<br/>
They joined the remaining members of the squad and began to wait for the captain, who was supposed to appear any minute. Hearing footsteps, Sina turned around, expecting to see a familiar frowning face, but instead of him there was a familiar and outrageously joyful face. The girl could not help laughing.<br/>
"Hey Adam. I see you really want to find problems."<br/>
The guy laughed merrily and waved to Sina, spreading into a wide smile.<br/>
"Hi, Sina. It's too boring without problems, don't you think?"<br/>
Sina had already opened her mouth to answer Adam, but the voice from behind did not give her such an opportunity.<br/>
"Only you can look for problems, because you got bored. Normal people read books or play chess when bored."<br/>
Sina looked behind her and saw that Anna was looking directly at the guy, grinning and crossing her arms over her chest. At the sound of the girl's voice, Adam beamed and gave her his most dazzling smile, to which she just rolled her eyes.<br/>
"Anna! Are you okay? How do you feel?"<br/>
The girl came closer and smiled back at him.<br/>
"Everything is fine, I feel great. By the way, what are you doing here?"<br/>
Adam shifted a little in place and turned away, his cheeks a little pink, and he rubbed his neck awkwardly.<br/>
"I came to ask how you are. After yesterday, when I handed you over to Captain Levi, I had no opportunity ..."<br/>
"Wait, what?"<br/>
"A?"<br/>
Adam looked questioningly at Anna. There was an expression of complete confusion on her face, she stared at the guy in bewilderment.<br/>
“What do you mean when I handed you over to Captain Levi?”<br/>
For a few seconds he just looked at the girl, trying to understand what she was talking about, but then it dawned on him, and he laughed softly and shook his head.<br/>
"Oh, yes, exactly. You were unconscious, so you don't remember anything. When you fell, I took you in my arms and said that I would take you to Hanji. But halfway through, the captain stopped me and demanded that I hand you over to him, and he himself will carry you. I replied that this is not necessary and I can handle it myself, but he said that you are his responsibility, blah blah blah, in general, I had to give you to him."<br/>
Anna did not say a word after that, and on her face there was an expression of complete shock and incomprehension. There were a lot of questions in her head. Why? What for? How is this possible? What Adam just said did not fit into her head. It all seemed like one big joke, but the girl was absolutely not funny. First, Hange tells her that a frightened Levi is bursting into her laboratory with Anna in his arms and demands that the major do something to her. Now Adam says that the captain is catching up with him and orders to give him the girl. She doesn't understand what he wants. What kind of game is it? First, he tells her that he hates her and will never forgive, and immediately after that he carries her in his arms to Hange. No, Anna thought, perhaps it was really just a sense of responsibility for her soldier. He had to personally make sure that nothing threatened her. After all, he is her captain. But why then catch up with Adam, who almost brought her to the laboratory? Why take her? He could have just come later to check on her. But he also sat with her while she was unconscious. Was it because Hange asked him? Or…<br/>
"Fox, what the fuck are you doing here?"<br/>
Anna jumped a little at the sound of a new voice, which sounded like it could freeze anything. The girl was so lost in her thoughts that she did not even notice how Levi approached them. Eyes the color of liquid silver burned through Adam, as if they wanted to burn out his very essence. The guy shivered at the icy tone and menacing look.<br/>
"Captain, I just ..."<br/>
"Get the fuck out of here until I chop you into pieces and then feed them to my horse."<br/>
Adam swallowed nervously and stammered, "Yes, sir." He quickly turned and sped towards the castle. Levi, meanwhile, scanned everyone present with his scowl, and when his eyes reached Anna, he stopped. The girl's heart began to pound and her palms became wet. She tried to make her face as relaxed as possible, but it was difficult, as from such a piercing gaze, goosebumps ran down her skin, and her blood froze.<br/>
"How do you feel, Smith?"<br/>
"I'm fine, sir."<br/>
Levi studied her face intently for a while, and then turned away, which made Anna breathe a sigh of relief. She didn't know what to think about Levi's strange behavior. The girl absolutely could not understand what was in his head, and could not predict what his next step would be. In addition, Sina's words from last evening were still spinning in her head, haunting her. Is she really in love with the captain? She tried to convince herself that this was not true, that it was just a desire to be recognized, and Sina just saw something there that did not really exist. She stubbornly resisted admitting that she had any feelings for the captain, but each time her excuses sounded more unconvincing. Something inexplicable makes her heart beat faster every time Levi looks at her when he says her name. Only this person causes such a storm of emotions in her, makes her want to laugh and cry at the same time, breaks through all her protective walls that she has built over the past few years. She has been trying to get his forgiveness for a year so that he would trust her, respect her, be proud of her. For what? She never really knew the answer to this question. But now, after Sina's question, she seems to have found the answer. <i> “Anna, do you like Levi?”  <i>  No matter how afraid she was to admit the truth, no matter how she denied it, she knew it was so.</i></i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i> "I think I like him."</i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Fix it all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So take a look into my eyes one last time<br/>
So we never forget<br/>
The way we were before<br/>
When we came alive at the moment we met<br/>
This is still worth fighting<br/>
Still worth fighting for</p><p>My Darkest Days — Still Worth Fighting For.<br/>
***<br/>
Sina's hands were trembling like hell. The girl was walking down the corridor, and her heart looks like it is about to pierce the chest. Breathing was ragged, as if she had just run a few kilometers. The insides curled into a tight knot with excitement, and nausea rose to the throat. On the one hand, she wanted to get it over with as soon as possible and return to her friends' room, but on the other hand, she wanted to delay this moment as much as possible. The desire to just turn around and farther from here was incredibly strong and seductive, but the girl could not do that. She promised Anna that she would tell her brother everything.<br/>
After what happened to her friend, she has already regretted a million times for dragging them into it. She repeated over and over in her head that she shouldn't have asked them to help her, or better yet, she shouldn't have gone down to this basement at all. Why did she need to talk to Eren so urgently? After all, they still just chatted about nothing, about all sorts of nonsense, and as a result, Anna had to disentangle everything that she had brewed, and even deliberately went into conflict with the captain, brought her to a nervous breakdown. But Sina knows how these conflicts are on Anna, how she is worried about it. But the girl still helped her, exposed herself to the blow. She did it for Sina. At the mere thought of this, tears come to her eyes. And once you remember how her dark brown hair, how her dark brown circles under the eyes appear darker than her dark brown hair. Sina remembers what horror she experienced then, how she wanted to scream and cry from powerlessness and from a disgusting sense of guilt that pierced her heart with a sharp stake. What a terrible friend she is.<br/>
She decided that Levi would tell everything. Despite the fact that she will be in big trouble, she will quarrel with her brother again, he should know what really happened then. She is ready to run as punishment until she collapses to the ground from exhaustion, or to clean the stables until they shine, she is ready to do anything, but she no longer wants to lie. Not at this price.<br/>
The girl herself didn’t know how she came to the sweep of Levi. Sina swallowed nervously. The last time she was here, her conversation with her brother was unsuccessful. The girl tried to calm her heart, which was beating a crazy madman in her chest, but it was useless, it hurt even faster. Sina took a deep breath and, counting to three, knocked quickly, fearing that otherwise she would just get cold feet and run away. She held her breath, waiting for the captain's answer, somewhere in the depths of her soul hoping that he was busy, and then she would have no choice but to leave. But when the familiar "Come in" was heard outside the door, she didn't know for sure if she felt relief or vice versa. Plucking up courage, the girl slowly opened the door.<br/>
Levi sat at his desk, as usual, sorting through a huge pile of papers, which had not diminished much over the past day, only gotten bigger. The man looked annoyed, and he had to sit at such hated paperwork, or because of it. After that fight, he and Levi didn't really talk, exchanging a few words in training. A girl was afraid to even look him in the eye. She felt guilty for yelling at him then, for climbing where she did not ask her to climb, for acting like a child. So now she shifted from foot to foot, biting her lips and not daring to meet her brother's gaze, so she stood silently, staring at the floor. There was a soft rustle of papers, and Levi said wearily:<br/>
"Sina, I'm not in the mood for a conflict. If you want to…"<br/>
"No! That's not why I'm here!"<br/>
A girl quickly interrupted the captain, sharply raising her head and looking desperately into his eyes. He looked at his sister carefully, pausing, then sighed and went back to his papers.<br/>
"Then what do you want?"<br/>
Sina flinched a little at Levi's harsh tone, but she knew she deserved it. The girl bit her lower lip even harder so as not to burst into tears. Her voice was low and trembling.<br/>
"I… wanted to apologize for my recent behavior. I know I shouldn't have talked to you like that, and I'm really, really sorry, Levi."<br/>
For a few seconds, the man froze, continuing to look at the papers in front of him. Sina saw how tense his muscles were, how his whole body felt like a taut thread, how his fingers gripped the white sheet tightly, almost crushing it, but almost immediately relaxed, and his expression became softer. He turned his gaze to Sina.<br/>
"Okay, I accept your apology. If that's all ..."<br/>
"No, there is more."<br/>
Levi raised an eyebrow inquiringly and looked at the girl expectantly. He slowly lowered the sheet of paper he had held until now and, crossing his arms over his chest, leaned back in his chair, making it clear that all his attention was hers. The girl could not find the strength to speak, she nervously fiddled with the hem of her jacket, trying to find the right words, but they seemed to get stuck in her throat, which suddenly became too dry and unpleasantly sore. Her palms were damp and she kept wiping them on her pants. Sina never said a word, avoiding her brother's penetrating gaze, and when his voice broke the silence that hung in the room, the girl almost jumped in surprise.<br/>
"Sina, I need to write some reports, sort out a ton of papers that Erwin slipped me, and all this will most likely take the whole night, so I ask you, hurry."<br/>
In the end, Sina forced herself to meet Levi's eyes with great effort. Her lips refused to move, but she gathered all her will into a fist, and words poured out of her in an endless stream.<br/>
"The night you bumped into Anna in the basement, she was standing there for a reason. I asked her and Julie to help me get into the basement to talk to Eren."<br/>
"Did you ask them for <i>what</i>?"<br/>
But Sina ignored Levi's question, who stood looking at her with eyes full of shock, and his harsh tone, making the hair on Sina's head stand on end with fear. The girl continued her monologue.<br/>
"Anna and I went downstairs, and Julie remained to watch at Erwin’s office. Then I went downstairs, and Anna covered the entrance, in case someone would pass by. I sent the guards who were guarding Eren away. In general, then Anna deliberately provoked a conflict in order to distract you. She didn't want to do this, but she had no choice, she just tried to help me. So this is all my fault. Because of me you fought, because of me she felt bad. I'm sorry."<br/>
Towards the end, Sina's voice sank almost to a whisper, and her breath caught. She dug her fingernails into her palms, leaving bright red streaks on her pale skin to keep from crying in front of her brother. There was a deathly silence, the girl heard only her ragged breathing and the beat of a frantically pounding heart in her chest. She tried not to move, to become absolutely motionless and invisible. Now the girl would give everything to merge with the wall, become invisible, disappear from the face of the earth - anything, just not to feel this look of her brother, full of hidden threat and desire to kill her right here and now.<br/>
"What the fuck, Sina? Have you even thought for a second what all this could lead to? He is unstable, he does not control himself and his abilities. What if he turned into a titan while you were there? He would have killed you, Sina. Not only did you endanger your life, you also endangered your friend's life."<br/>
At the last words, the girl felt her gaze clouded over, and her eyes stung. She did her best not to cry, but whoever she was deceiving, holding back her tears was always the worst for her. A traitorous tear still rolled down her cheek, leaving behind a cold and bitter feeling of guilt, because she understood that every word Levi said was true. She did not think that all this could end badly, that they could not only receive punishment, but also suffer if Eren suddenly got out of control, because really, no one knows anything about his strength, not even himself, so they all walk on very thin ice and any wrong movement can lead to sad consequences. Yes, Sina trusted the guy, although she herself did not know why. But nevertheless, she is a soldier, she must first of all clearly assess the situation based on facts, and not on an inner sixth sense. She must think with her head, not her heart, because in this cruel world this is the only way to stay alive. Sina heard a deep sigh, but did not raise her head, continuing to stand, refusing to meet her brother's gaze.<br/>
Then Levi said wearily:<br/>
"Sina, look at me."<br/>
She really didn’t want to do it, knowing that she would see in those eyes what made her heart squeeze painfully. She never wanted to let her brother down; on the contrary, she dreamed that he would be proud of her. The thought that now he was disappointed in her, the girl wanted to scream. She was ashamed to look at him. But then his last words echoed in her head. Here, she is first of all a soldier, and only then his sister. She is obliged to obey orders. Sina wasn't sure if it was an order or not, but she didn't want to risk it anymore. The girl very slowly raised her head, but her gaze was still riveted down. Only on the third attempt did she dare to look at the captain, and her eyes widened in surprise. There was no anger, no rage, no disappointment, only slight irritation. Otherwise, he looked as usual. Sina didn't know what to say. She thought that her brother was furious, that he was ready to throw her out of his office and never even look in her direction again. What she certainly didn't expect was complete calmness. Irritably brushing the hair from his eyes, the man got up from his seat and, going around the table, stood directly in front of Sina.<br/>
"I understand that you always try to help every idiot that comes your way, even if you yourself then get into trouble because of it. But you have to think before doing something dangerous and risky, because not only you can get hurt, but others too."<br/>
His voice was firm and calm, there was no anger in it. Now Levi was like a stern parent chastising a disobedient child for a stupid offense. On the one hand, Sina was a little offended for being treated like some kind of child, but on the other hand, a huge stone fell from her shoulders from the realization that Levi was not angry with her. With eyes full of hope, the girl looked at her brother and quietly asked:<br/>
"So you're not angry with me?"<br/>
But, apparently, Sina was overjoyed too early, because an answer followed, from which her heart sank.<br/>
"What an idiotic question? Of course I'm angry."<br/>
The girl's eyes went out, and her lips quivered. Of course he will be angry. She would be too naive if she believed that her brother, <i>Levi Ackerman</i>, would just forget about something like that. Before Sina could answer, the man spoke again:<br/>
"But I’m ready to close my eyes to this incident if you promise, no, you will swear to me, Sina, that you will never again do anything stupid and reckless without first discussing it with me."<br/>
Sina nodded her head furiously.<br/>
"Yes, I promise, I swear, Levi, this will not happen again!"<br/>
The captain gave her an incredulous look, as if to say, "Just try this one more time," and Sina swallowed, imagining what would happen to her if she broke her promise. She won't get off that easy next time. She had no desire to feel Levi's anger on herself. Better to be in the stomach of a titan.<br/>
With a satisfying nod, the captain raised his hand and, with a familiar movement, placed his palm on Sina's head, patting gently. The girl smiled, and all over her body warmth spread from such a simple, but at the same time to the madness of her own gesture. At times, Sina wondered how her brother managed to instill in her unspeakable horror with just one look. She was sure that even the titans did not scare her as much as Levi sometimes scares her. But then with one light touch, he makes all her fears go away, and she feels like the happiest person in the world. How is this even possible?<br/>
But Sina did not manage to soak up this sea of warmth for a long time, because the next minute Levi removes his hand from her head, sits down at the table again and picks up a sheaf of sheets, returning to the hated paperwork.<br/>
"If you no longer have any secrets that you urgently need to share with me, then you are free. This mountain of absolutely useless writing will not understand itself, and reports will not write themselves."<br/>
The girl watched Levi run his hand through his black hair, then rub his neck, bending over the numerous papers. His face turned into a hard mask filled with irritation. Sina knew how much her brother hated paperwork. For him, it was a sheer punishment. He could exercise all day without any problems, exercise, but at least an hour writing the report was his worst nightmare. Levi had told her more than once that he would rather be behind the walls with the titans than here in the company of endless piles of papers. “At least you can get rid of the titans. There is no garbage from this." And the problem was that Erwin simply overwhelmed the captain with this hated job, every day supplying him with a whole new mountain of reports, reports, calculations and many other things, the name of which Sina did not even know. And every day, Levi had to scavenge tons of paper, which made the number of hours of sleep he could afford to be close to zero.<br/>
Even now, the girl saw bruises under her brother's eyes, reminiscent of two storm clouds. She slowly slid her gaze over the captain, his tense shoulders, his lips, muttering something about damn commanders who have nothing else to do but bury their heads in papers, then she once again scanned this paper “wall” that lined his desk, and her heart ached with the thought that Levi would have to deal with her alone. Therefore, without hesitation, she asked:<br/>
"Maybe I can help you?"<br/>
The man looked up from the report in his hands and slowly raised his frowning gray gaze at the girl, arching an eyebrow in question. On his face one could read the expression “if you don’t leave me alone for 10 seconds, I’ll throw you out of the window and don’t even see that you are my sister,” but Sina, ignoring the empty threat, uncertainly waved her hand towards a huge pile of documents on table.<br/>
"I can help if you want. All the same, the girls, for sure, have already gone to bed, and I'm not so tired, so I still won't fall asleep. Alone you will do this all night, and together it will be faster. Just tell me what to do."<br/>
Breathlessly, Sina watched the completely motionless figure of her brother, who continued to stare at her as he contemplated her proposal. The seconds passed slowly, and Levi never made a sound. The girl began to fidget with excitement, realizing that most likely she would now be sent to her room, having previously stated that she would not say such nonsense again. But, apparently, the prospect of spending another sleepless night, and the very dawn without getting out from under the pile of papers, was not very pleasant, so Levi, sighing heavily, turned to the mountain next to him, took half, and then put it in front of Sina.<br/>
"Read it carefully, and then put my signature under each one below. If there is anything important, tell me, I'll figure it out. If you have any questions, ask. Hope we can sort it out quickly, with all this shit. What does Erwin do with this fucking papers?"<br/>
With that said, Levi went back to work, muttering to himself. Sina smiled, walked over to the table and sat down in an empty chair. Pushing a pile of papers towards her, she picked up the first sheet. It looks like it will be a long sleepless night. But even so, she was in seventh heaven.<br/>
***<br/>
It was long past midnight when Sina left Levi's office. She had no idea exactly how long, maybe an hour, two, maybe even three in the morning, but she didn't care. Her eyes saw almost nothing, only the vague outlines of dark corridors and the reflections of torches on the walls, reminiscent of terrible ghosts reaching out to her. Normally, she would be damn scared and rush headlong into her room, but now she wouldn't even lift a finger if some hungry ghost decided to have dinner with her. Her whole body seemed to consist of heavy stone boulders, she barely dragged her legs, as they refused to move, and each movement was accompanied by a protest from stiff muscles. It would be a real miracle if she could even get out of bed in the morning. Despite the monstrous fatigue and a terrible headache, which seemed now to burst through the skull, Sina felt calm and peaceful.<br/>
First, she finally got rid of the oppressive guilt that had accompanied her for a couple of days. Now that Levi knows the truth, it’s like breathing easier. For herself, Sina decided that she would never lie to her brother again, because it would not end well anyway. When she went to Levi's office, she was ready for screams, for furniture flying into her, for threats like "you will never leave your room again in your life" and other such things. But she certainly didn't expect Levi to react so calmly to her story. “Maybe he’s just used to you constantly throwing something like that, so he just wasn’t surprised.” In any case, she is glad that everything turned out to be a small lecture on the topic: "Sina, think with your head before you do." Although knowing her, this lecture most likely went into the void.<br/>
She also managed to spend time with her brother, which could not but rejoice. Such gatherings were a real rarity. With constant training, sorties, battles, they did not even have enough time, not even just to talk to each other for more than five minutes, but they could only dream of something else. That is why this evening meant so much to Sina. Even though they hardly talked, working in silence, occasionally exchanging a couple of phrases, and the only sound in the room was the rustle of sheets being handled and the creak of a pen on thin paper, the girl could not want anything else. If only to sit like this together, listening to the silence and enjoying the presence of each other. Because at that moment she felt that they really are family, that they really care for each other. After all, Levi never lets anyone get so close, does not accept help from strangers. And he let Sina get so close to him.<br/>
Because she is not a stranger. And the realization of this made her happy.<br/>
Continuing to trudge along the corridor, from time to time stumbling over her own legs because of the pitch darkness, from which even the torches could not save, the girl understood that despite the wild fatigue and exhaustion, she still would not be able to fall asleep, no matter how she tried. Too many obsessive thoughts were spinning in her head, and even her tired mind could not calm this endless stream. Maybe some fresh night air will help. Deciding that there was nothing to lose and that the rise was not soon, so that she had a couple of hours of sleep, Sina headed to her favorite place.<br/>
Slowly climbing the stairs, she opened the door leading to the bridge. The night air hit her face, making Sina shiver. There was silence all around, not a sound could be heard, only the measured sound of the night, the soft whisper of the wind and the singing of cicadas coming from afar. The night was unusually starry today, millions of silver dots were scattered across the sky, and in the very center was a round disk of the moon, illuminating everything around, making it as bright as day. The girl was sure that she would be completely alone, everyone had long dreamed, and she could even hear the loud snoring of soldiers coming from the barracks. Therefore, she was very surprised when she saw a guy sitting on a stone fence and looking at something with enthusiasm in his hands. Slightly squinting, she saw a book in his hands. Her eyes widened in surprise, she could not believe that anyone other than a few people from her environment were reading. Sina knows only Hange, who had a lot of books, but they were all scientific encyclopedias, too complicated for Sina, with a huge number of incomprehensible terms and insanely boring. After several attempts to read these books, Sina's head almost exploded, and she gave up this venture.<br/>
But what this guy had in his hands didn't look like one of Hange's books. She decided to come closer, but was afraid to interfere with him, so she only took a step, but even that was enough for her to understand how huge the book was, so that the girl gasped involuntarily. The young man, hearing an extraneous sound, turned his head sharply and frightenly and met Sina's eyes, which made her winced. Now she looks like some kind of psycho chasing people at night and watching them from around the corner. Deciding to take a chance and start a conversation, Sina opened her mouth and said:<br/>
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry."<br/>
The guy’s frightened and huge eyes dropped slightly, and he took a deep breath, and then looked up at Sina again. His hands were tightly gripping the book that so strongly captured the girl's attention. After, it seemed, several long hours, the guy spoke:<br/>
"It's okay, I was sure that I was the only one who was not sleeping now," squeezing out an uncertain smile, he slightly tilted his head to the side, "why are you walking around the building so late? It may be dangerous"<br/>
Sina shrugged her shoulders in embarrassment and looked up at the sky:<br/>
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to breathe air. The night is very beautiful today."<br/>
The guy nodded affirmatively in response to Sina's words and looked at the girl again, a little more confident:<br/>
"My name is Bertholt. I recently graduated from the Cadet Corps."<br/>
As soon as Sina heard these words, it dawned on her. He must know Eren. Sina stood, shifting from foot to foot, and tried to answer so that her voice did not tremble, either from the cool wind, or from excitement, she herself did not know. Noticing this, Bertholt patted the stone next to him, inviting Sina to sit next to him. This gave the girl a little more confidence, and she sat down next to the guy. He was dressed in a green, seemingly very soft sweater with a white shirt underneath. Sitting comfortably, Sina looked at him and said:<br/>
"Nice to meet you, Bertolt. My name is Sina," her gaze involuntarily fell on the book in his hands again, the guy noticed this, and his eyes lit up.<br/>
"You are reading?"<br/>
"Yes, my friend taught me," Sina nodded her head, "when I came here, I was very attracted to the book in your hands, which is why you could have the feeling that I was watching you."<br/>
Bertholt smiled slightly and moved the book closer to the girl. After a few seconds of hesitant pause, he opened it to the first page he came across.<br/>
"This book is from my home, it has been with me as long as I can remember. He probably reread it a hundred times, if not more," putting his hand on his neck with embarrassment, he tried not to meet Sina's gaze. The girl guessed that he was apparently embarrassed to talk about something so personal, and even a complete stranger. Sina thought that she should repay him in kind, so she decided to tell that she also has a certain obsession with one of her books. Remembering her, Sina involuntarily smiled. A happy memory floated into her head, which made her eyes sting. It was in the first days after meeting Anna and Julie. Then they did not know each other, so when the conversation turned about birthdays and age, Sina sadly replied that she did not know either one or the other. Her father never talked about her birthday, and it didn't matter. As if she would celebrate it with rats and two weeks old loaves of bread. Therefore, Sina was never interested in it, and Kenny never talked about it, limiting himself only to a short "spring". But now that she is not alone, when she has friends and family, she regrets that she does not know the day she was born. After a short silence, Anna replied that Sina was lucky, and since she does not know the exact date, she can choose any one she wants. Sina was so surprised that she was speechless. Then Julie supported Anna, and together they asked the question again. "When is your Birthday, Sina?" After that, she did not hesitate for a second. <i>May 4th</i>. The girls looked at each other in surprise, and Sina hurried to explain. “This is the day Levi found me. Then I really felt like I was born again. Because until that day I did not live at all." The understanding friends nodded, and Sina smiled at them.<br/>
On her “first” birthday, Julie gave her a book. She was not like any book that Sina had seen before, and it was not that she had seen many books in her life. She was incredibly beautiful, with a leather flight, and the illustrations were breathtaking. Sina was surprised how Julie could have such a book, in their world just a book is already a rarity, and the one that Julie gave her is a relic. But Julie only smiled slyly in return and said that for her she did not feel sorry for anything. And no matter how Sina begged her friend to tell her, she stubbornly continued to keep her mouth shut. According to Anna, Julie killed the previous owner and stole his book, but the girl just grunted and shrugged her shoulders. Sina remembers how terribly ashamed she was after such a stunning gift to admit that she could not read. Then the girl almost burst into tears from resentment. But Julie hugged her and replied that it was not a problem and that she would teach her friend. Sina's gratitude knew no bounds, after that she sobbed on her friend's shoulder for about an hour while Anna held her hand. The training took place in the evenings, or at night, accompanied by ringing laughter and sharp jokes from Anna, who watched their "lessons" with glee. Julie was an excellent teacher: empathetic, patient, ready to help at any moment. Sina eagerly absorbed everything that her friend taught, ready to give up sleep altogether, so that their studies would not end. That is why Sina refers to this book as her most precious treasure.<br/>
From the memories, Sina was brought out by a light touch on her hand. Startled, she remembered where she was. She felt ashamed that she almost fell asleep during the conversation, and blushing, she replied:<br/>
"Sorry, I have a habit of getting lost in my thoughts," Bertolt just smiled at this, "I also have a similar book, my best friend gave it to me."<br/>
The guy looked at her in surprise, a question was read in his eyes:<br/>
"Wow, such books are very rare, how did your friend get this?",  as if waking up, he blushed and looked away, "I'm sorry, it's not my business"<br/>
Sina unwittingly drew a parallel between them, she found a person who, like her, is afraid to say something wrong and constantly apologizes.<br/>
"All is well, it's not a secret. In fact, I don't know where the book comes from. No matter how much I ask, it refuses to speak."<br/>
"Would you like to have a look?"<br/>
At first, Sina did not understand what he meant, but then she turned her gaze to his hands, which held out the book to her.<br/>
"Oh my fucking God! Can i?" Confused by her too violent reaction, Sina covered her mouth with her hands, to which the guy only smiled.<br/>
With shaking hands, the girl took the book. It was quite heavy compared to her book, as if it were made of stone. Sina slowly opened the book and heard her favorite crunchy sound of the cover, ran her fingertips over the pages, feeling the smooth paper and inhaling the ancient smell of pages and ink, God, how she loved it all. Bertolt closely followed all of Sina's movements:<br/>
"You are very careful with books as if they were alive"<br/>
"I think this is one of the few things that we really should appreciate."<br/>
"What else?"<br/>
"Love, friendship," the girl shrugged.<br/>
Sina continued to view the beautifully painted pages as if spellbound.<br/>
"Your book is fabulous."<br/>
"Do you want to read?"<br/>
"A? Can?"<br/>
"You are very careful with her, I think you are one of the few people whom I can trust with my book."<br/>
A wave of joy washed over Sina, she smiled happily and hugged the book tighter to her chest. They sat in silence for a few more minutes. The girl happily waved her legs in the air and did not let go of her new treasure. Looking at the sky, a thought occurred to her:<br/>
"Bertolt?" he turned his gaze to Sina, waiting for the continuation, "you gave me your book, and I am very grateful to you for that," after a pause, she continued, "what if I let you read mine? I think it will be fair."<br/>
"Will you trust me with this?"<br/>
“You trusted me with yours.<br/>
"I would be glad."<br/>
"Come on, then, I'll give it to you."<br/>
"Right now? W-well, let's go."<br/>
Gently putting her feet on the ground, she looked at him questioningly, and when he nodded, she headed for the exit. Turning around, she saw that Bertholt follows. And she could not help but be shocked by his height, the girl lifted her head so much that she felt the blood rush sharply to her temples.<br/>
"Wow ..."<br/>
At this, Bertholt only laughed.<br/>
Sina was used to walking in silence, but for some reason she could not stop talking with Bertolt. She thought it would be great to have such a friend.<br/>
"And how are you in the Survey Corps? I know some newbies and they all like it so far, well, as much as possible."<br/>
Sina heard a chuckle and thought herself how funny it all sounds.<br/>
"I like it here, training, of course, is just hell, but I'm used to it. I came here with my friend Rainer and ..."<br/>
"Stop, Reiner, tall with blond hair and an angry expression?"<br/>
"Yes, it is definitely him, do you know him?"<br/>
"Yes, Eren introduced us, as well as with Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie and ... Mikasa," shuddering, Sina looked at Berthold for a second.<br/>
"Don't you really like her?"<br/>
"She's scary."<br/>
The guy couldn't help but agree with this.<br/>
As they talked, they did not notice how they reached Sina's room. Stopping, she turned to Bertolt with a smile and practically whispered "wait here."<br/>
The girl was away literally for a few seconds, she ran out of the room with a book that looked so much like Berthold's book.<br/>
"Here, my treasure," handing her over to Bertolt, she was sure that nothing would happen to her book, and she was calm.<br/>
"She's amazing, Sina, so much like mine, but at the same time completely different."<br/>
Sina watched the guy turn the pages, and his movements were very similar to her own.<br/>
"I hope you'll like it. Someone won't sleep tonight."<br/>
At this, Berthold only nodded in understanding. Sina decided to bring him to the exit of this wing, if suddenly one of the guards saw them. Going down the stairs, the girl dreamed of how she would now crawl into her warm bed and, stroking Fury, plunge into a new story.<br/>
When they reached the entrance to the barracks, they smiled at each other.<br/>
"Thanks for the book and the great conversations, Sina. I'm glad you wandered onto the bridge."<br/>
Hearing this, Sina smiled:<br/>
"Actually, I'm glad too. Nice to meet you, Bertolt."<br/>
"Me too, Sina, me too."<br/>
Saying goodbye, the girl wandered back to her room and the thought occurred to her: you need to walk around the building more often at night. At this, Sina just snorted, thinking how delighted Levi would be with the idea.<br/>
***<br/>
A few hours ago the news of the forthcoming sortie came. Several hours, and no one has yet said a word. Because there was no sense in the words, after so many years in the Survey Corps, they understood this, as they understood that this particular sortie could be their end. Sometimes they only crossed their eyes with each other, as if saying goodbye in advance. At such moments, all enmity disappeared, Oruo stopped behaving stupidly, stopped bullying Petra, Anna stopped making fun of Julie, and then it became really scary. It's like it's all wrong. Outrageously fake. And Sina hated those moments.<br/>
Hated that stifling feeling of being in a locked cage with no exit because the key was lost. The girl knew that it would not do without sacrifices, that everyone she knew might not return, and no matter how selfish of her it was, she only prayed that they were not dear to her people. She tried not to think about it. She drove her thoughts away, but you can't deceive yourself and your consciousness, and no matter how hard you try to console yourself with the thought that they are experienced soldiers, an elite squad, the best in their field, the girl saw too many deaths of such elite soldiers, even more experienced and stronger than she, who lay in pools of their own blood, with their limbs bitten off, praying to the Lord to end their torment as soon as possible. Even in spite of her rather short service, she saw plenty of it. Therefore, each new sortie is a death sentence, and no one knows to whom it was pronounced this time.<br/>
She knew perfectly well that she might never see her comrades again. Although there are some differences between them, they have been fighting side by side for a year now, and Sina would have sacrificed her life for them without the slightest doubt, and she is sure that they would have done the same. Each sortie could be the last, and when she went outside the wall, Sina always tried to remember everything in the smallest detail, in case this time was the last for her.<br/>
Tries to remember how Julie smiles reassuringly at her every time she's worried. Tries to memorize Anna's every grin, her every joke and every angry comment about Levi until he hears it. Tries to remember all of Oruo's failed attempts to copy the captain and all of Petra's caustic remarks on this matter. She tries to memorize every look of her brother, every word, every gesture, every movement, so that they are imprinted in her memory, as if someone burned them with a red-hot iron. He tries to remember everything he can. Because tomorrow all this may already be.<br/>
Usually, after the news of the sortie, Sina did not sleep, she simply could not. She often asked Julie to make her a mint with lemon balm so that the dream would finally come to her, but now even that did not help. Anna was brought out of her trance by Anna, who got up from the table and looked around everyone present with a long look. The girl saw how fear splashed in her friend's eyes, but her voice was completely different from her gaze - calm and confident:<br/>
"It's late and we all need to sleep," she tried to smile, "we have participated in sorties a huge number of times and will participate as many more."<br/>
Of course, everyone understood that this was just an attempt to cheer up the people and that the truth was less optimistic, but nevertheless, they played along to Anna, smiling in response to her words. In the end, everyone dispersed, hoping to get some sleep after such disturbing news.<br/>
The weather was strange today. The sun was shining brightly, but it was terribly cold outside, and the icy wind chilled to the bone. They had just arrived at the site of the first experiment on Eren. Sina  was not at all thrilled with the idea that Eren would be a test subject in Hange's bloodthirsty hands. The girl remembered how the major tortured the captured titans. Although the titans were monsters who killed her comrades, they even felt sorry for them at the sight of the "torture experiments" that this insane woman subjected them to. So Sina could not expect anything good from her towards Eren. But everyone around them said that these experiments were necessary to study the guy's abilities, their nature and how effective they would be in real combat conditions. Sina  knew it too well, but the thought of subjecting Eren to torture or humiliation infuriated her. She stood with her arms crossed on her chest and looked discontentedly at the well in which Eren was now. Hange waving her arms vigorously, giving commands and leading the whole process, and every cell of her body was filled with enthusiasm. If she had a tail like a dog, she would wag it without stopping.<br/>
A second later, Julie and Anna approached Sina, their faces also written with disapproval of everything that was happening. Anna looked as if she was ready to tear apart everyone who was here, and Julie - as if she just wanted to grab the three of them and run away to hell. Sina felt as if she could turn her out at any moment. Her whole body was pounding with a small tremor, her lips were pale and blue, and her eyes darted nervously back and forth, as if afraid to linger on one object for a long time. She felt as if they were going to experiment on her and not on Eren. Julie was the first to break the silence.<br/>
"Why should he go through this?"<br/>
"The society considers him a dangerous monster, and this is one of the conditions that he is still alive," Anna sighed and began to peer towards the well, "I don’t like it either. After everything he's been through, this is not what he deserves."<br/>
Sina didn't answer. She was angry at fate for such an injustice. The only reassuring thing was that Levi would not allow Hange to harm Eren, and if something went wrong and his life was in danger, he would stop the experiment. At least she hoped so.<br/>
The girls came closer to the well. Hange was finishing her final preparations. She checked something in her notebook and shouted into the depths of the well:<br/>
"Can we start, Eren?" She paused, as if waiting for an answer, "when we are ready, I will give a smoke signal. After that, everything depends on you."<br/>
Sina was shaking with excitement. Out of the corner of her ear, she could hear Eren's resounding yes. It was impossible to understand from his voice what he was like now. Sina snorted at her own thoughts. How can he feel? He sits in a 10-meter dark hole, about to transform into a titan, watched by a dozen armed soldiers. One wrong move, and this will be regarded as treason, he will be killed without trial or investigation, without even giving a chance to explain himself and defend himself. Of course he's a little flustered. The girl took a deep breath, trying to recover. Julie took her hand and squeezed gently.<br/>
"Everything will be fine with him, Sina."<br/>
Sina smiled at her friend and squeezed her hand back. Hange leaned slightly over the well and said:<br/>
"A dry well can hold even a maddened titan."<br/>
At these words, Sina frowned. "Maddened"? She couldn't imagine an Eren like that, no matter how hard she tried. They all forget that he is a 15-year-old teenager who does not understand what is happening to him, and not a monster. "The only maddened here is you." Sina really wanted to say this to the major, but did not have time, because she added belatedly:<br/>
"Probably."<br/>
At these words, Anna rolled her eyes:<br/>
"Great."<br/>
Sina would have laughed if she hadn't been so scared. Her fear only intensified when Levi launched a signal fire into the air. The girl thought that at that moment she would faint, but by some miracle her legs were able to hold her, although her knees bent a little. Several excruciatingly long seconds passed, but nothing happened. No flash, no titan scream, nothing. Only the deafening silence around and the sound of her frantic pounding heart. Sina looked at Hange and saw that she was frowning. "Everything went wrong?" Then her expression gave way to uncertainty:<br/>
"Didn't he see the signal?"<br/>
The girls looked at each other. The signal is impossible not to see. Sina looked at her brother, expecting him to say something. Levi looked as if he expected such an outcome, and with his eternal calmness said:<br/>
"No, it's just that his ability is not so reliable," after these words, he moved to the well. Sina, Anna, and Julie followed.<br/>
"Shit, something's wrong." Sina sped up, she continued to shake as if in a fever. What if something happened to Eren? The disgusting feeling did not leave her from the very beginning of the experiment.<br/>
"Eren! We're finishing." Levi's voice was too loud in such a deafening silence.<br/>
He came close to the well and the three followed suit. Sina with a sinking heart bent down and began to peer into the darkness. She could swear she heard Julie scream, and then she didn't hear anything. The picture that came before them was terrible. Eren was sitting on his knees, blood dripping down his chin, dripping onto his shirt, his palms were covered with bites and bleeding heavily, there was not a single living space on them. He looked at them, but his gaze was unseeing. The eyes are empty and filled with some wild despair.<br/>
"Eren! Stop, it's over!" at the end, Sina's voice broke.<br/>
"I can't… I can't transform into a titan."<br/>
Sina felt the air was sorely lacking, and her chest pierced with acute pain. "That's too much. I can not anymore". She turned around and almost ran in the opposite direction, having no idea where, if only farther from here. She wanted to scream, wanted to cry and already felt sobs coming to her throat. Sina heard someone calling her, but could not make out who the voice belonged to due to the loud hum in her ears. Now she didn't want to see anyone. She just needs a couple of seconds to calm down and recover. Also, fight the urge to strangle Hange and anyone who gets in her way.<br/>
After some time, Julie and Anna found her and told that Eren was taken out of the well and his wounds were bandaged, so that he was in perfect order. After that, Sina breathed out a sigh of relief and calmed down a bit, although she still wanted to hit Hange with something weighty to knock out of her the desire to conduct more experiments in the future. The way Eren, stained with blood and mud, looked at her with dead eyes, instead of the usual ones that study light and heat, she will now dream in nightmares.<br/>
When the girls returned to the others, everyone had already gathered at a large table in the yard, discussing the failed experiment. Eren looked much better in clean clothes and fresh bandages on his palms. Anxiety was clearly read on the guy's face, the girl would even say that he was scared, although he tried to hide it. Whether it was due to an experiment or due to the fact that the guy was never able to become a titan, Sina did not know. She tried with all her might to breathe deeply and evenly, thereby calming the storm of emotions inside her. One wrong word, and she was ready to yell at someone, which she really did not want to do. Still fresh in her mind was the recent incident with Levi in his office, which caused a chill to roll down the girl's spine. Sina sat down in an empty seat next to Eren and smiled encouragingly, receiving a sad and uncertain smile in return. Her gaze now and then fell on the bandages, which covered the numerous bites, which must have been terribly painful.<br/>
"And your own bites won't heal?" Levi stood beside Eren with a cup of tea in his hand.<br/>
Eren rubbed his palms restlessly together. Without meeting the captain's gaze, he replied:<br/>
"Yes."<br/>
"If you cannot become a titan, then the very thought of sealing the wall Maria goes to hell."<br/>
Sina winced at the man's rude tone and looked reproachfully at her brother. Eren is already having a hard time now, he was charged with a huge responsibility for which he was not ready, and no one can be ready at that age. And now he is accused of things over which he has no control. Levi could have been a little softer and more lenient and understanding. Although, what is she talking about. Levi softer? It even sounds funny. Sina sighed and glanced once more at Levi, who was already moving away from the table.<br/>
"Do something. That's an order."<br/>
"Yes, sir.<br/>
A girl watched as Petra approached Levi, and they began to quietly talk about something. More precisely, Petra spoke, and the captain only shook his head in response, or simply remained silent. Sina turned to Eren and lightly touched his wounded palm, trying to put into this touch all her support, which he needed at the moment, like air. Eren, without looking up, squeezed Sina's hand in return. Gunther's voice came from the other side of the table:<br/>
"Don't be sad, Eren. Still, you are more human than I thought."<br/>
"What do you mean?" Anna was a little indignant.<br/>
Gunther shrugged.<br/>
"I would be glad. This means that I am not a monster."<br/>
"Eren is not a monster," Julie said urgently."<br/>
Gunther said nothing to this, just sipped from his cup. Sina desperately wanted to answer him something caustic, but now was not the best time to start a quarrel, so the girl said nothing. For some time they sat in silence, only the soft tapping of spoons was heard. With her peripheral vision, Sina watched Eren closely. He also said nothing to Gunther's words, although the girl felt how he flinched at the word "monster". He took the spoon from the saucer with a neat movement, but immediately hissed in pain and pulled his hand. The spoon hit the table with a thud and fell to the ground. All eyes immediately turned to him.<br/>
"Eren, are you okay?" Sina said excitedly. She herself did not notice how tightly she grabbed his shoulder, looking at the guy's face.<br/>
"Yes, I'm fine," Eren smiled to Sina, though the smile came out tortured and painful. He bent down slightly to pick up the spoon. The girl did not have time to say anything, when suddenly a bright flash illuminated everything around, which made Sina involuntarily close her eyes, covering her eyes with her hands. She heard the screams of people, which merged into one big hum. A girl with great diligence was able to open her eyes, but everything around was clouded with smoke, so that she could not see anything further than an arm's length. Suddenly from behind someone called her name, and sharply turned around, she saw Anna and Julie.<br/>
"How are you? Are you okay?"<br/>
Sina nodded and looked at the girls.<br/>
"Yes, everything is fine. You?"<br/>
“Okay,” Julie replied, the smoke cleared a little, and now they could see the outline of the place where they were sitting just a minute ago, “what just happened?<br/>
Anna frowned, her voice quieter than usual, and there was something in it that made Sina shudder.<br/>
"I don’t know, but this is very similar to what happened in Shigan..."<br/>
"Eren, don't move!"<br/>
It took the girls only a second to throw worried glances, and then they simultaneously jumped off and ran to where they heard Petra's scream. Sina's heart was beating at a breakneck pace.<br/>
She hoped that there were enough impressions for today and that the rest of the day would be calm and monotonous, as usual. How wrong she was.<br/>
Having reached the place from where the screams were heard, the girls stopped abruptly. At first, Sina thought that her eyes were deceiving, that it was just a hallucination. Maybe she fell asleep at the table? Or had she breathed in smoke, and now her poisoned mind is playing with her? But when she heard another cry, she realized that all this is really happening in reality. A gigantic hand lay on the ground in front of them, from which steam emanated, rising in huge clubs upward. It was as if all the skin was ripped off the hand, leaving only bare tissues and muscles, with clearly visible veins and tendons. At the sight of all this, Sina's stomach twisted, she felt a wave of nausea go to her throat, and was glad that she had missed breakfast, because she had overslept again. Sina didn't immediately notice that a man was sitting on top of this very hand. No, not just a person. Eren. He looked scared to death, pale as a sheet, with frenzied eyes, trying to rip his own hand out of the bonds that held her tightly to that of the titan. A girl drew in a sharp breath. "Is he ...?" Another desperate cry revived her.<br/>
"Move, brat, and you're dead!"<br/>
Sina turned her eyes to the speaker, and it turned out to be Oruo, who looked even worse than Eren. His eyes were glued to the guy and watched his every move, flinching at any sound. The girl had never seen him so scared, but not only him. Sina scanned the space in front of her and saw that her entire squad surrounded Eren, capturing him in a ring. On their faces were the same expressions of indescribable horror, as on the face of Oruo, they tightly gripped the swords aimed at Eren, and were ready to rush at him at any second.<br/>
"Answer, are you a titan or a human?"<br/>
Eren was still trying to get out of the hand that was tightly around him. His face was flushed with tension, his hair stuck to his forehead. Sina, even from her seat, felt an incredible heat emanating from a huge hand. The guy desperately shouted back:<br/>
"Human! I am human!"<br/>
"Liar!"<br/>
Sina realized that she could no longer just stand and watch all this. She couldn't let them hurt Eren. The girl clenched her palms into fists and rushed forward, stopping in front of Eren, and turning to face her comrades. She saw that her friends were looking at her with eyes full of shock, but now she didn't care. She needed to protect Eren. She slowly raised her hands, spreading them in front of her, trying to calm the frightened soldiers. The blades glittered in the sun and were dangerously close to her face, but she did not budge. A girl said pleadingly:<br/>
"Calm down, please"<br/>
"Sina, get away from him! This is dangerous!"<br/>
"Take away the swords, please!"<br/>
"Sina, don't you understand that he is a monster ?! He can kill you!"<br/>
“No, you don’t fucking understand, Petra!<br/>
"Stop talking, just get it over with!"<br/>
"No! I won't let you!"<br/>
Suddenly Sina felt someone's presence nearby, and when she turned her head to the right, she saw Anna, who held her blades in front of her, only they were directed at Petra and the others. Then Sina turned to the left and noticed Julie. Her weapons were removed, and her eyes were worried. Sina could not express in words how happy she was that her friends are now standing next to her.<br/>
"You both move away too!"<br/>
"You're the only ones who need to move away."<br/>
"If you don’t get out of there right now, we will drag you away by force!"<br/>
"I'll see how you try. I've kicked your fucking ass once, Oruo, and I'll gladly do it again."<br/>
"Oh, you little brat! You're finished, Smith!"<br/>
"Guys, let's just put our weapons away, sit down and talk calmly. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation for everything!"<br/>
"Nothing to discuss here, Julie! Can't you see that he is trying to kill us!"<br/>
"Everyone shut up and take the fucking blades away."<br/>
At the sound of Levi's voice, Sina almost burst into tears of relief. The captain came closer and gave everyone a look that promised cruel and painful reprisals to anyone who disobeys him. But no one was in a hurry to lower the blades.<br/>
"Captain, but ..."<br/>
"Let it go. Fucking. Blades. This is an order, Petra."<br/>
No one had time to even blink, as a heartbreaking cry was heard from somewhere on the side, from which Sina's frost went over her skin, and the next second they saw Hange, who was running towards them as fast as a hurricane, demolishing everything in her path. Her eyes glittered feverishly, and her mouth broke into a mad smile. She danced around a giant arm, like a child who was finally given a toy that he had dreamed of for a very long time. Finally, when her fervor faded a little, she slowly extended her hand to the titan's hand:<br/>
"Can I touch this?" and without waiting for an answer, she lightly touched, after which she immediately pulled her hand, screaming frantically either from pain or from joy.<br/>
Sina rolled her eyes. She was used to such strange behavior of a woman, but sometimes her antics just crossed the line. Behind her, she heard the hand begin to move, and turning sharply, saw Eren grabbing his hand again and pulling with all his might, breaking into a scream. In the end, the ligaments gave way and the guy fell to the ground.<br/>
"Eren!" the girl rushed to him, running around the hand, which had already begun to evaporate, and falling next to him on her knees. "Are you okay?"<br/>
The guy was breathing deeply and intermittently, his shirt was wet with sweat, his whole body was trembling. He slowly raised his head and looked wearily into Sina's green, worried eyes, and then lowered her again, trying to catch his breath.<br/>
"Not really."<br/>
***<br/>
The torch burned brightly, illuminating the entire room, the soft crackling sound of burning wood echoing through the room, forcing the eyes to close by themselves. As usual, the whole squad gathered after dinner to have a cup of tea, and at the same time discuss what happened during the day. After the incident with Eren, an awkward tension hung in the room, no one knew what to say in such a situation, so everyone preferred to be silent, each immersed in his own thoughts. Sina was sitting, buried in the shoulder of Anna, who stroked her head with slow movements, they were all exhausted. Julie gazed continuously at the candle flame in front of her.<br/>
When the silence became almost deafening, there was a loud stomp and an enthusiastic voice outside the door. Sina immediately realized that it was Hange and was already mentally preparing for a very long and very loud tirade. A moment later the door opened, and the scientist flew in, making such a noise that after the dead silence that reigned in the room, it was physically painful. She stood at the head of the table and placed a parcel on it with the words:<br/>
"Of course, it was not easy to explain to the authorities, but everything went smoothly and easily," she began to carefully remove the fabric from the bundle. "Look here."<br/>
Inside was a simple teaspoon, and at first Sina didn't quite understand exactly where she should be looking. Her comrades also shared her misunderstanding. But only Julie decided to clarify:<br/>
"Spoon?"<br/>
"Yes," was Hange's reply. She took it in her hands with a smooth movement and lifted it up, demonstrating to everyone present, "this is the very spoon that Eren recently raised. That is, the hand of the titan Eren. So, between the index and thumb, her words were accompanied by the movements that she described. It's hard to imagine that this is just an accident. The most interesting thing is that the heat and pressure did not damage her in any way. What do you think about that?"<br/>
"I reached for her and after that I immediately turned," it was clear that Eren was frightened by everything that was happening to him.<br/>
Hange adjusted her glasses and looked at the spoon again.<br/>
"Okay ... Maybe this is the reason for your transformation. And also the reason why you could not turn into a titan in the well."<br/>
Sina felt very stupid now. All the words were clear to her, but she could not understand the meaning of everything that Hange said. The head was splitting, and it felt like being hit with a hammer. After examining everyone in the room, she noticed that they also did not fully understand what was happening. But it was clear from their eyes that awareness was slowly coming to them. Anna's voice broke this momentary silence, although it was so quiet that Sina thought she thought:<br/>
"Are you saying that Eren needs a goal to transform into a titan?"<br/>
At this, Hange nodded and said:<br/>
"Yes, a clear goal. Most likely, a single bite does not start the transformation process. And without a specific goal, you cannot turn into a titan."<br/>
"This time is similar to the one when I stopped the projectile, but transform into titan to raise the spoon?"<br/>
At this very moment, Petra, Oruo, Gunther and Erd noticeably tensed and bowed their heads down. Sina was waiting for one of them to speak now, Erd did it:<br/>
"So you didn't turn into a titan on purpose without permission?"<br/>
All eyes were now on Eren.<br/>
"Yes," Erd then took a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.<br/>
Sina realized that they all felt guilty for having attacked Eren like animals then, although in fact, he was not to blame for his transformation. A girl asked herself a dumb question, who does she sympathize with now, the feeling of guilt is the worst of feelings, as she thought. All four looked at each other and nodded as if in agreement with each other. They slowly brought their hands to their mouths and dug their teeth into them with all their might, but not so hard that the wound would bleed. Sina felt Julie flinch slightly next to her. Yes, she herself shivered a little at the sight. But despite this, Sina understood why they did it. It was a kind of excuse for their mistrust.<br/>
Seeing this, Eren leaned fearfully on the table and shouted:<br/>
"Hey, what are you doing?"<br/>
"It hurts…" Petra winced strongly in pain. Gunther looked at his hand and saw that there was a noticeable mark from the teeth, but there was no blood, it was evident from it that he was surprised:<br/>
"Eren, it's amazing that you can bite yourself like that." They raised their heads and looked at Eren. All this time he looked at them with his big, frightened eyes, full of disbelief in everything that is happening in front of him.<br/>
"We made the wrong decision. This is our apology, although it doesn't change anything. Our task is to keep you and there is nothing wrong with that. So don't be arrogant, brat."<br/>
At the last sentence, Sina rolled her eyes, and Anna leaned on her arm and looked expressively at Oruo, as if telling him to shut up.<br/>
"I'm sorry, Eren. We got cold feet. You are probably disappointed by our stupidity," Petra raised her head and with eyes full of determination, looked at Eren, "but, no matter what, we will rely on you and want you to rely on us. So, believe in us.<br/>
***<br/>
"I know I've been asking this question for the hundredth time in a day, but are you okay?"<br/>
Eren turned abruptly and looked at Sina, who stood in front of him with her hands behind her back. A girl looked embarrassed, constantly looking at the ground, then at the wall, then somewhere else. She approached so quietly that the guy did not even notice her presence until her voice took him out of the train of thoughts. Sina saw the guy jump up at the sound of her voice, and a girl thought that she probably had to cough first to let him know that she had come, and only then ask questions. Without giving him time to reply, Sina gestured to an empty seat next to Eren.<br/>
"Can i sit down?"<br/>
A guy, quickly controlling himself, shook his head and moved a little, giving the girl more space.<br/>
"No! Of course not! Have a seat."<br/>
Sina smiled lightly and softly sank to the ground next to Eren, not caring what Levi would do to her if he saw her sitting on the bare, dirty ground. A girl shuddered at the thought and hoped that Eren would write it off as the cool of the night. She leaned against the stone wall and felt the cold penetrate even through the dense fabric of the jacket, but ignored it and turned to face Eren:<br/>
"So what about my first question?"<br/>
The young man did not answer and turned away from the girl, looking at the sky, which was clouded with clouds, which made it seem even darker, the stars were practically not visible, only a few small dim dots could be seen if you peer into the blackness for a long time. Sina hated nights like these, when the sky seemed like a black abyss, in which all the stars and the moon disappeared, leaving only darkness and emptiness. In this impenetrable darkness, she could not properly see Eren's face, his eyes, so she had to navigate only by his voice. After a few long seconds that seemed like an eternity to Sina, he answered:<br/>
"I’m fine, although it’s been a ... difficult day."<br/>
A girl chuckled inwardly. Difficult - that's putting it mildly. The poor guy was put in a well, where he had to practically bite off his own hands, then he accidentally turned his hand into a titan's, after which the members of his own squad almost cut his throat. Even though they apologized at the end of the day, it's not easy to forget.<br/>
"Yeah." Sina wanted to bash her head against the wall for such a brilliant answer, but she could not think of anything better. She often does this when, for some reason, at the most crucial moment, the brain waves her handle and, having collected all the convolutions, leaves in an unknown direction, leaving to disentangle it all that he also brewed. Little asshole.<br/>
"What about you? Are you okay?" Eren looked inquiringly at the girl.<br/>
"Yes, I'm fine."<br/>
Silence reigned between them. Sina did not know what else to say, Eren was also silent, which made her wildly uncomfortable. She had no idea why she had come here, why she was looking for his company again, although there was no good reason for that. She told her friends that she went to get some fresh air. While it wasn't entirely a lie, it wasn't, at least not entirely true. She just really wanted to see Eren. After everything he had endured for the day, she wanted to support him, to be there in case he wanted to talk to someone. Even though Sina understood that he had friends and a sister whom he had known for much longer, and would probably prefer their company over her. But she decided to try anyway. And now they are sitting in complete silence, staring into the darkness and not knowing what to do next. “Bravo, Sina. You're just a genius." A girl already wanted to give up and just return to her room, forever abandoning the idea of ever in the future to start a conversation with other people, but then Eren spoke:<br/>
"I'm surprised they did it," the young man paused, as if he wasn't sure whether to talk about it, but then continued, "well, they apologized."<br/>
For a couple of seconds, Sina was just silent, trying to comprehend what Eren was talking about, but then she answered by bending her knees and pulling them to her chest, wrapping her arms around her.<br/>
"Of course they apologized. They are good people, Eren. They just got scared when you so suddenly ... " a girl did not know which words were better to choose, so she just kept silent, hoping that the guy would understand what she meant.<br/>
Eren must have understood, because there was no answer. This time, the pause was not so long, and the guy almost immediately spoke again:<br/>
"Sina, can I ask you a question?"<br/>
A girl looked at him questioningly and nodded.<br/>
"Sure."<br/>
Sina felt a man fidget next to her, betraying his nervousness. She barely heard him when he finally asked:<br/>
"Why do you constantly help me? Aren't you afraid of me? I'm a monster."<br/>
At the last word, Sina shuddered involuntarily. She was in no hurry to answer, only looked at the sky again, trying to find at least one star through the cloudy shroud. Why is she helping Eren? She has been asking this question since that day in court. Then she took a very big risk when she jumped forward, protecting Eren from her brother. Why did she do it? She had no idea. She just felt that she needed to do it, she needed to help him. At that moment she did not think about the consequences at all. When she looked into those breathtaking eyes, so beautiful and incredibly clear, but at the same time filled with pain, despair and fear, something in her snapped. She didn't want to see those eyes suffer.<br/>
Was she afraid of Eren? The answer will be unambiguous and unshakable. No. Never. She was a thousand percent sure of that. Even when she saw Eren in the guise of a titan, there was not a drop of fear in her, only surprise, disbelief and admiration. Why isn't she afraid of him? Even the most courageous people in the Survey Corps fear him, but she feels completely calm being in his company, and even being alone with him. Why is there such boundless trust in a person whom she knows nothing at all? This was another unanswered question. Maybe it was her sixth sense, which she used to trust? From early childhood, it never let her down, it was always possible to rely on it, it would never deceive. Sina immediately senses if you need to stay away from the person. Like that newcomer, Rainer. Her sixth sense is screaming for her to run as far away from him as possible because he is dangerous. But with Eren ... her sixth sense tells her that he will never harm her. And she believes him. She believes Eren. Maybe it's not only her intuition, but also in himself. In his stunning green eyes that seem to glow from the inside and warm anyone he looks at. Or in his radiant smile, from which the heart does somersaults in the chest. Or in the peculiarities of his character. In this childish, slightly naive ease, in the sincerity with which every part of his body is filled, in openness and boundless self-sacrifice. Could this be the case? The fact that Eren simply cannot be a monster, because he is the brightest and kindest creature that she has ever met in her life. The girl looked closely again. In this pitch darkness, a single star flashed, like a torch in a dark room, like a grain of hope amid total hopelessness. Sina slowly looked at Eren.<br/>
"You're not a monster, Eren. Remember this. And no, I'm not in the least afraid of you. And I help you, because why else do you need friends?"<br/>
A guy silently stared at her, even in the dark it was clearly visible that his eyes were full of bewilderment.<br/>
"But you don't know me at all! What if I'm not at all what I seem? What if I disappoint you?"<br/>
Sina smiled softly and covered his hand with hers, feeling how warm it was compared to hers, icy.<br/>
"I know you enough to say that you are an amazing person, Eren. I know that you will not disappoint me. Call it intuition if you want."<br/>
After that, Sina did not give the young man a chance to answer, but quickly got to her feet, brushing the dirt off her pants, mentally praying that there were no stains, otherwise she would have to spend the whole next day doing the laundry. And knowing Levi, it won't be limited to pants alone. She might even have to wash the clothes of the entire Survey Corps. Perhaps even more than once, because her brother's requirements are too high, and the only person who meets them is himself. A girl put her head down and looked at Eren, who was still sitting with a lost expression on his face and digesting everything Sina said to him.<br/>
"I think we need to go back and go to bed. It's getting cold, and we have to get up early for training tomorrow. Remember, the captain doesn't like being late."<br/>
Eren, as if waking up from a dream, shook his head and followed Sina.<br/>
"Yes you are right. I will take you."<br/>
A girl shook her head with a smile on her lips, but did not argue. They walked towards the main entrance, silently following each other. A gust of cold wind made the girl flinch and wrap her arms around herself in order to somehow warm up. She just lacked to get sick before going out for the walls. Sina mentally cursed and kicked herself for not wearing anything else, even a scarf. Suddenly she felt something warm and soft on her shoulders. Turning her head slightly, she saw that it was a jacket. A supply of jasmine immediately hit her nose. A girl arched an eyebrow and looked at Eren. The man smiled awkwardly and scratched his neck.<br/>
"The wind is very cold. This is to keep you warm. Let us not go very long, but it will be better that way."<br/>
“But how are you? Won't you freeze?<br/>
A man just waved it off.<br/>
"I'm not cold. Titan blood keeps me warm."<br/>
"Wow. That's cool."<br/>
"Well, yes, only there is one small side effect in the form of transformation into titanium, and so it's really cool."<br/>
At this, Sina only laughed. They walked the rest of the way in silence, each with their own thoughts. Sina felt incredibly comfortable, covered by Eren's jacket, which still kept the warmth of his body, and her nostrils were tickled by the light scent of jasmine. As they approached her room, Sina caught herself thinking that they had arrived too quickly, and felt a pang of annoyance. She slowly pulled the jacket off her shoulders, inhaling Eren's pleasant scent for the last time, and handed it to the boy. He accepted it, but was in no hurry to put it back on, leaving his gaze riveted to him. Sina dared to speak first.<br/>
"Thank you."<br/>
Eren smiled, but didn't raise his head, continuing to stare at his jacket, running his fingers over the light-colored fabric.<br/>
"Sina ..."<br/>
"Yes?"<br/>
Finally he lifted his head, looking her straight in the eye.<br/>
"Thank you. For all. For protecting me in court. For interceding for me today, although everyone else pointed weapons at me. Thank you for trusting me and considering me your friend. You have no idea how much this means to me."<br/>
Sina froze for a few short moments. But then she immediately pulled herself together and smiled broadly at Eren. How, after such a thing, can anyone consider him a monster? This guy is just adorable.<br/>
"You're welcome, Eren."<br/>
The young man put on his jacket in one swift movement and, before leaving, took one last look at Sina.<br/>
"See you tomorrow, then?"<br/>
"Yes, see you tomorrow."<br/>
***<br/>
She knew something was wrong. Something very bad is looming. She felt it the same way she feels cold on her skin when winter comes. Sina literally heard a voice in her head screaming, “Trouble! Everything will be very bad!" Of course, every foray into the walls made her almost faint from horror. Each time, her hands began to tremble, her skin became pale and covered with sweat, and the hair on her head stood on end. And even though it became something common for her, the constant feeling of fear that accompanied her on every expedition, she simply could not get rid of it, no matter how experienced she was. You just learn to live with it, take it for granted, and master your fear during battles. She had lived like this for a year, and she thought she was doing well.<br/>
Sina knew this sortie would be different. Much more difficult, and there will be much more casualties than usual. On the morning of the departure day, she shared her premonition with her friends as they pulled on their gear. A girls noticeably tensed after her words, knowing full well that Sina's sixth sense never lies and more than once it even saved their lives. In order to somehow defuse the situation and cheer them up, Anna habitually grinned and said that they have Eren, who can turn into a titan, and the strongest warrior of humanity in the person of Sina's brother, so that they are completely safe. They laughed, although the laughter came out terribly unnatural and more like a cough. There was nothing funny here. All three knew perfectly well that having Eren and Levi next to them is far from a guarantee that they will remain alive today, but nevertheless, Sina felt a little easier. Maybe for the first time in her life, her premonition would be false?<br/>
Therefore, standing in front of the closed gate, which is about to rise, the girl heard almost nothing, only the noise of blood in her ears and an insistent voice in her mind, continuing to repeat that something terrible is coming. She almost missed how Erwin announced the 57th expedition behind the walls, how the soldiers raised their hands with loud shouts, clutching their naked blades, and how a huge column of scouts jumped from their place as soon as the gate opened. A girl hit the horse hard on the sides, and it rushed forward after the others. A familiar wave of adrenaline swept through her, making her heart beat frantically against her ribs, the wind whistling in her ears, the flapping of a cloak that resembled the sound of wings, the clatter of many hooves on the ground - all this created an incredible cacophony, and the girl madly wanted to cover her ears with her hands.<br/>
Sina quickly looked around and exhaled a sigh of relief, making sure that Anna and Julie were next to her - she just had to reach out and she could touch them. They were on the way for no more than five minutes, and she was already behaving. as if they could dissolve into the air at any moment. Both looked focused, their eyes fixed on the road. If they were worried, they carefully concealed it. A girl looked ahead and tightened her grip on the reins, speeding up the horse. It's time to pull yourself together. If her sixth sense does not lie and this expedition is very difficult and dangerous, then she should be ready for anything. "Pull yourself together, Sina." Gradually, the voices repeating about the danger faded into the background, the fear receded a little, giving way to decisiveness. She will simply pray that they all return home alive.<br/>
***<br/>
Panic rose slowly to my throat, blocking the oxygen supply. Her body was like a stretched thread, ready to break at any moment. The girl frantically looked around, trying to understand what the hell was going on here! Sina realized long ago that this was no ordinary expedition. This had never happened before, they just drove forward in silence, from time to time transmitting signals to other squads and, if possible, tried to avoid the titans. As soon as they entered the forest, the girl lost the last logical explanation for this whole heck, called the 57th expedition. “Why did we even enter this forest? What are they trying to achieve? " A girl turned her gaze to the other members of the squad, to her friends, and realized that they, apparently, had exactly the same thoughts spinning in their heads. Their faces were full of bewilderment and anxiety. Sina tried to calm down and think logically. Erwin and her brother always know what they are doing. Surely they have some kind of plan. This cannot be a regular walk through the woods in search of the titans, which they tried to avoid all the way. “Patience, Sina. You will understand everything when the time comes. Just be prepared. " A girl sharply turned her head towards Eren, who was riding next to her, when his sonorous and slightly trembling voice cut through the tense silence:<br/>
"Captain! Captain Levi!"<br/>
"What do you want?" his brother's voice was as calm as if they were in training.<br/>
"We're in the middle of the forest! We will not be able to hide from the titans if we are alone here! How can we avoid the titans and protect the food under these circumstances?"<br/>
"Stop making the captain look obvious. Of course, we cannot do this." Levi sounded annoyed, as if an annoying child bombarded him with basic questions like “Is the water clear? Is the sun bright?" At that moment, Sina felt like this very child, because she wanted to ask the same questions.<br/>
"T-Then why?" continued Eren.<br/>
"Take a look around, Eren. Those fucking giant trees ... There is no better place to use the drive to its fullest. Now do a favor and move your one and only gyrus. Stir it up properly if you don't want to die."<br/>
"Yes sir!"<br/>
After these words, Sina felt even more stupid, as if they were addressed to her. What did Levi mean? Are they going to use drives here? Why did they only enter the forest? What's going on here?! She looked desperately at Anna and Julie, at Petra, at Gunther, at Held, even at Oruo, hoping they might at least have guessed something. But they returned her the same looks, full of doubts and questions, the answers to which were only with the captain, but he stubbornly refused to share with them. Sina turned away, trying to drown out the scream that was trying to escape. They had no choice but to follow orders.<br/>
Suddenly there was the sound of a rocket fired. A girl turned and saw a column of black smoke going into the sky. Aberrant? Everything inside her went cold. They usually do not carry anything good in themselves. Each anomalous is always new questions and only more corpses.<br/>
"Black rocket?"<br/>
“Right behind us!"<br/>
Levi said sharply:<br/>
"Bare the blades. We will see him in a couple of moments."<br/>
Sina didn’t even have time to react to her brother’s words when a titan jumped out from behind the trees. More precisely, a titan? She had never seen a titan like this. It was definitely a female, with regular body shapes, and not like others - disproportionate and ugly. The girl thought she was almost as beautiful as a titan could be considered beautiful at all. About 15 meters away, there was no skin on it, it looked exactly like the hand that Eren accidentally created when he tried to pick up the spoon. Her face was framed by short blonde hair, but what struck Sina the most was her eyes. Clear blue, big and round and so ... human. At the thought, Sina's blood froze in her veins. The titan woman was moving at incredible speed, her movements precise, as if she knew perfectly well what she was doing. Sina turned away from her, casting a glance at Levi, who seemed not to see or hear everything that was happening. Petra broke down first and shouted:<br/>
"Captain, shall we switch to the VME? Captain? Captain! Your order!"<br/>
"Come on! She's dangerous! We must kill her, otherwise she will catch up with us!"<br/>
Sina looked back and her eyes widened in horror as she saw the titan grab the scout behind her and forcefully press her shoulder into the tree, leaving only a huge bloody stain on the trunk.<br/>
"We must kill her, that's why we went into the forest, didn't we, captain?"<br/>
Sina had already opened her mouth to scream too, but then Levi straightened up and turned slightly, looking at them over his shoulder.<br/>
"Close your ears all."<br/>
A girl saw him pull out a flare and fire it into the air. A loud sound cuts through the space, drowning out all other sounds, and for a few seconds, Sina did not hear anything. A girl closed her eyes tightly at such a powerful sound, she was sure that now her eardrums would burst from such force. But it was over quickly, and Sina abruptly sucked in air, slowly regaining consciousness. Why did Levi do this? Was that a signal to someone? She opened her eyes just as the captain spoke again:<br/>
"What is your order? Every time to be led by your emotions? As far as I know, no. The task of this detachment is to give all the strength to ensure that the jerk does not have a scratch. Even at the cost of life. We continue to ride horses, okay?"<br/>
Eren shouted back:<br/>
"Where to? She almost caught up with us! If we don't help them, they will be killed!"<br/>
Sina couldn't believe what Levi had just said. Riding horses? People are dying right behind them and they won't even try to help them? She heard another scream and then a crack of bones, knowing that the female had killed another soldier. The blood boiled in her veins with anger, she clenched her teeth with force, feeling their grinding. Are they willing to sacrifice so many people for the plan?<br/>
"Eren, look ahead! Erd shot a glance in his direction."<br/>
"We can save them!"<br/>
"Keep moving, Eren!"<br/>
"And leave your comrades to die?"<br/>
"Yes exactly! Follow your captain's orders!"<br/>
Eren said nothing, and Sina looked in his direction to see him bring his hand to his mouth, intending to bite her. A girl stopped breathing for a second, and then shouted:<br/>
“Eren, don't! You can't do this!"<br/>
He looked at her pleadingly back. In his green eyes, she saw pain, despair, hopelessness and a decisive fire that flared up brighter and brighter.<br/>
"But I have to help them, Sina! They will die!"<br/>
"If you want, then do it." Levi's voice sounded too calm for such a situation. A girl turned her eyes to her brother, but he did not even turn in their direction. "I understand, he is a real monster and the power of the titan has nothing to do with it. No matter how hard they restrain him, no matter what cage they lock him in, he will never obey anyone. Eren, the difference between our judgment and yours lies in experience. But you don't have to rely on him. Believe in yourself or believe in me and the scouts. I don’t know and never knew whether to believe in my choice or to believe in the choice of my reliable comrades. Nobody can know what will happen."<br/>
Silence reigned for a while, and all that was heard was the clatter of hooves and the heavy thud of the titan woman's footsteps, already practically breathing down their backs. More soldiers tried to stop her, but they all met the same fate. Sina closed her eyes as death screams reached her ears, she could almost taste their blood in her mouth, and nausea rolled in a wave. But Sina knew she had to trust her brother, trust Erwin and the others. She believed that these sacrifices would not be in vain, because she knew that Levi would never send people to death for no particular reason. This is all in the name of humanity. In the name of saving millions of lives, in the name of saving the future. A girl turned her head and her eyes met those of Eren. He looked at her, trying to find out from her what to do. Sina glanced briefly at her friends, who, catching her eye, nodded. Sina sighed and, looking at Eren again, said with her lips:<br/>
"Believe me."<br/>
Eren hesitated, not taking his eyes off Sina, then drew in more air and said loudly:<br/>
"I believe you!"<br/>
A girl smiled and looked forward to the road with determination, digging the toes of her boots even more into the sides of the horse, forcing it to gallop faster, although it was already at its limit. The titan was getting closer, the ground trembled from her hard run, dust flew in all directions, impairing the view. They rode a few more meters, and then Sina saw other scouts on either side of them in the trees with huge wooden devices. "What is it? It looks like explosives. " As soon as they rushed past them, the girl heard Erwin's roar:<br/>
"NOW!"<br/>
There was a rumble from behind, as if dozens of cannons were simultaneously covering fire. Sina no longer heard the heavy running behind her, she turned around and saw nothing but a giant cloud of smoke and dust, behind which nothing could be seen, only the outlines of trees and the huge body of a titan, frozen in place. She seemed to be nailed to the ground. Sina's heart skipped a beat. Are they ...? Levi's voice pulled her out of her own thoughts. She turned to look at her brother.<br/>
"A little more and leave the horses, then go to the drives. We will have to split up. Erd remains in charge." the captain lets go of the reins and flies off the horse, clinging to the nearest tree. "Stay away from this titan and hide Eren. Take my horse."<br/>
A second later, Levi had already disappeared into the dense foliage, leaving them to follow orders. Sina heard Eren quietly ask:<br/>
"Was the plan really to take her alive?"<br/>
Before the girl had time to answer, Gunther, who came to the rescue from behind, exclaimed:<br/>
"Well, Eren, have you seen? We captured her alive!"<br/>
"This is the power of the Scouting Legion. Don't you dare underestimate us, you moron!" Sina rolled her eyes at the words of Oruo, who could not help but say something like that. The girl's tongue itched to answer him that the only moron here is him. But now was not the time for that. They have a task to complete. The mission is not over yet.<br/>
After driving a few more tens of meters, the detachment stopped. Each tied his horse, then activated the drives and moved to the large tree, drawing their weapons and preparing to await further orders. Sina felt her knees tremble from the long ride, her back and neck ache as if they had been carrying heavy bags for several hours in a row, and her hands did not obey at all. Although she practically did nothing, she never even entered the fight, but she was already exhausted. A girl hoped that this would all end. They caught the titan woman. Apparently, this was the purpose of this sortie. Sina just wanted to get home as soon as possible. The oppressive feeling inside her did not calm down, but only gained momentum. “Everything is going too well. Too smooth." She felt that this was not the end, and her heart began to beat a frantic rhythm in her chest. "I wish Levi would return as soon as possible." Everyone else stood at the ready, weapons in hand, including Anna and Julie, who silently scanned the surroundings in case of danger.<br/>
"So that was his original plan. Did I understand correctly?" Eren's voice made Sina look up. "Although I understand not to tell a rookie, but even to you, and you ..."<br/>
Sina saw Eren give her a meaningful look. She understood what he was getting at. She was Captain Levi's sister, his family, and yet, even she was not initiated into the plan, left in the dark. A girl turned her gaze to Anna, who was looking into the distance, misunderstanding and resentment were read on her face. She could understand her. Her uncle was the Commander, the man who came up with this whole plan. Erwin also preferred to remain silent and say nothing to his niece. Why? Are they not worthy of trust? Sina shook her head. No, that's not the point. There must be a good reason why they didn't tell them everything. Maybe they were afraid that Sina and Anna might tell someone else? Or did they not want to use their position? After all, almost no one in the Survey Corps knew of their kinship. So it would be suspicious if only they knew about the plan and the other soldiers didn't. "First of all a soldier, only then a sister." As painful and offensive as it was, it was true. There should not be any privileges, they are the same soldiers, like everyone else, with the same rights and the same responsibilities. Sina exhaled. Now everything fell into place. Looking at Anna again, the girl realized that she was thinking the same thing.<br/>
"Just shut up!" Oruo growled.<br/>
"Are you saying that the Commander and the Captain don't trust us, did I understand, right?" Petra intervened, her voice was higher than usual, bitterness and resentment were heard in it.<br/>
"N-no, but that's how it looks!" Eren tried to justify himself.<br/>
Oruo turned sharply and pointed the end of his sword at the young man.<br/>
"Petra, knock out his jaw! Then swap the top and bottom and put it back in!"<br/>
"No, Eren is right." all turned to Erd, who was standing with crossed arms, leaning against a tree. "I think there was a reason the captain couldn't confide in us."<br/>
"Which one?" Gunther intervened now.<br/>
"There is only one reasonable option not to trust your own people." Erd paused and then continued. "There is someone in the Legion of Intelligence who can turn into a titan, or just spy."<br/>
And then it dawned on Sina. "Of course it all fits." This woman is titan. She reminded her of a man for a reason. Her movements, her appearance, her eyes ... It all reminded her very much of Eren. Even though she had only seen him in the form of a titan once, it was enough for her to draw a parallel. Is it possible that a soldier from the Survey Corps is sitting in this titan? Perhaps even someone she knows. Perhaps someone she trusts. A girl shuddered, and a chill swept through her body. Now she understands why Erwin and Levi didn't tell anyone about the operation. It was too risky. It was impossible for the spy to know about it. It was necessary to keep the secret at all costs.<br/>
"Is that possible?" Sina heard Julie's voice for the first time during the entire trip and, turning around, looked at her.<br/>
"Well, whatever you say, but our captain is sure of this. Perhaps the only ones who knew about everything were the soldiers who survived five years ago." Erd nodded to himself.<br/>
"That's it. Now everything is clear."<br/>
Sina did not listen to the rest of the conversation, lost in thought again. Too much information fell on her today. She felt that her head was about to burst from overexertion. Spy. Traitor. Who could it be? Was it someone among the recruits? Or among already experienced soldiers? At least it was not someone from her squad, this girl was incredibly happy. Since they have caught a female, it means that very soon they will find out who it is. The sixth sense again announced itself as anxiety and an unpleasant sensation somewhere in the stomach. Sina tried to drown it out, but it crawled out more and more persistently.<br/>
After waiting for a while, everyone noticed the signal to retreat and began to collect equipment. Sina changed the gas cylinder, checked the drive, made sure that the blades were intact, although she never even pulled them out during the entire trip. She looked up when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Eren smiled at her and sat down to help collect the rest of his gear.<br/>
"Do you think they really managed to get him out?" he continued to fold the blades, looking out of the corner of his eye at the girl.<br/>
"Hope so." Sina fell silent, and when she finished with her part, she spoke again. "It's all thanks to you."<br/>
"But I didn't do anything." Eren stared at her in amazement.<br/>
"You believed in us. That was enough." A girl shrugged her shoulders and smiled softly at him.<br/>
"Stop praising him, Sina. What did he deserve? All he did was whine all the way."<br/>
"Oruo, can you shut the fuck up for at least ten seconds? From your pointless chatter already a headache." Anna walked slowly by, carrying gas cylinders in her hands, and gave Oruo an irritated look that could well rival Levi's.<br/>
"Smith, I see life is not dear to you at all, since you constantly run up." The man turned in her direction.<br/>
"Enough wrangling, you two! We must go."  Erd shouted, and Anna and Oruo, quickly exchanging sizzling glances, hurried to complete their business. Sina and Eren followed suit.<br/>
The squad began to move, using drives and cleaving the air with cables. Sina saw the trees disappear past her, the wind rustling in her hair. After a short silence, Erd turned and smiled slyly, said:<br/>
"Oruo, Petra! I remember how you screamed on the first mission. But now such adults have become.<br/>
Sina laughed and turned towards Petra, whose expression was priceless - red with embarrassment and anger, her eyes were bulging, and her mouth was open with indignation. Sina had heard this story a million times already, but for this she was ready to listen to it endlessly. Eren looked at Petra in surprise.<br/>
"Don't tell him! What if he stops respecting me, huh?"<br/>
"Is it true?"<br/>
"Exactly. Notice I didn't screech, Eren." Erd said arrogantly.<br/>
"Bastards! I'm the coolest of you all! I killed the most! I'm the best you idiot!" Oruo began to be indignant.<br/>
"It's not just the number of kills that makes you a soldier."<br/>
"Get out, you fucking idiot!"<br/>
Then Eren turned to Sina and looked at her questioningly:<br/>
"What about you? Did you scream too?"<br/>
Sina's lips stretched into a smile, and she was about to laugh it off, but then her eyes stumbled upon Anna's silent figure. She flew away from everyone, never once trying to join the conversation, although she usually does not go into her pocket for a word. Dark hair covered her face, but Sina could see that her eyes were down and her whole body was tense. The smile slowly faded from Sina's face. She remembered what that first trip meant to Anna. Sina has long forgotten about her, because there are not enough fingers on both hands to count how many times she was on the verge of death. But the girl knew that for Anna it was a festering wound that was still bleeding. She didn’t want to remind her of it again, because she knew it would hurt her friend, because she’s still ashamed of it. Apparently, Eren saw something in the expression on Sina's face, and did not insist, only smiling knowingly. Fortunately, Gunther's voice interrupted their exchange of vivid memories.<br/>
"Do you think you're on a picnic? We're behind the fucking walls!" Thinking, Gunther added after a couple of seconds. "And by the way, I didn't scream either, Eren."<br/>
There was a chorus of disgruntled voices, but Gunther ignored them. The next thing Sina heard was:<br/>
"I'm sure this is a signal from Captain Levi. We join him!"<br/>
A girl looked up and noticed green smoke. She exhaled in relief. "Finally, it means he's all right." The girl saw how Gunther stopped and reached for a signal flare, and then raised his hand and fired. The detachment moved on, and Sina could not wait to see her brother. Then they flew in silence until a figure in a green cloak and a draped hood appeared among the trees. Sina frowned. Is that Levy? But why did he put on the hood? An unkind feeling settled in her heart.<br/>
"Captain Levi?" Gunther asked.<br/>
But there was no answer. Sina tensed, her hand automatically reaching out to her thighs where the blades were attached. Gunther then said:<br/>
"No, it is not him! Who is it?"<br/>
The figure leapt forward with lightning speed, its blades in front of it, and slashed hard at Gunther's neck. Blood spurted in all directions, and Sina watched in daze as he fell down, hanging on the cables, his head twisted at an unnatural angle, and his eyes wide, staring at the ground, but seeing nothing. Everything happened too quickly, Sina did not have time to understand anything, she still did not understand. The only thing that spun in my head over and over again was the words "Gunther is dead."<br/>
"No, it can't be." She didn't even immediately realize that these words flew out of her mouth.<br/>
Someone pushed her roughly aside, forcing her to look away, and she saw that it was Erd. He was saying something to her, but she did not understand the words. She moved by inertia, controlling the SMD in the air, clinging to the trees, and before her eyes there was only Gunther's body, limply hanging upside down. How could this happen? How can he be dead? Tears flowed from his eyes, burning his skin. “No, Sina. Now is not the time for mourning. First you have to get out of here alive. Or at least get Eren out." She remembered Levi's words that they must protect him even at the cost of their own lives. The girl brushed away her tears and reached down, sharply pulling out the blades with a clanging sound. She turned to check if everything was in place, and to great relief caught everyone's gaze. "Except for Gunther." Sina shook her head, chasing the thought away and turning to Erd.<br/>
"Erd, where do we go now?"<br/>
"Forget the horses! Finding the command is important now!" a man made a jerk, avoiding the tree standing in the way.<br/>
"Is this the one who sat in that woman? Or are there several?" - Oruo's voice was heard.<br/>
No one has time to answer, when suddenly a familiar flash illuminates everything around, blinding and immobilizing Sina for a couple of seconds. A crash is heard near them, and when the girl opens her eyes, she sees the very titan woman a few meters away. "But why? She should have been caught! " Erd shouts her name and the girl turns in his direction.<br/>
"Sina, take Eren, Anna and Julie and find the captain! We'll deal with the titan."<br/>
"But we can help" Sina argues with despair in her voice. Leave them here alone with this titan? Never! They had already lost Gunther, Sina did not want to lose the others. They can fight, so why does the man tell her to run, tails between cowardly tails as they spill their blood?<br/>
"No, we will deal with her, and you leave! This is an order, Sina!"<br/>
The girl didn't have a chance to answer, because Erd was already heading towards the female. Sina cursed loudly, but she could not challenge the order. Plus, deep down, she knew it would be right. Someone must get Eren safe and sound to command. His life is much more important than all their lives put together, so they could not allow something to happen to him. Although the girl did not like all this very much, she was disgusted with the thought that she would have to leave Erd, Oruo and Petra alone, she knew that it was so necessary. Friends flew up to her, weapons at the ready, faces are serious and focused.<br/>
"What are we doing, Sina?" Julie asked.<br/>
"We take Eren and retreat." Her voice sounded cold and left no room for argument.<br/>
"Shall we leave them alone with this creature?" Anna asked sharply, her eyes widening in shock.<br/>
"Yes, Anna, we'll leave them alone with her because Erd gave the fucking order to do it! Someone has to help Eren find the captain, and we will, even if we have to leave our comrades to die!" almost shouted Sina. She knew that her friends had nothing to do with it and that it was unfair to vent her anger and despair on them, but at the moment she could not help herself. She was stifled by guilt and duty, which hung heavy on her shoulders. Disobey Erd's order and stay? No matter how Sina believed in the strength of herself and her comrades, she understood that most likely no one would survive the fight with this titan. She couldn't risk Eren's life like that. She didn't care what would become of her, but the lives of her friends and the Hope of all humanity depended on her decision. She could only pray that she underestimated Erd, Petra and Oruo, and that they would be able to survive. At that moment, Eren flew up to them.<br/>
"Why are you standing? We must help them!"<br/>
Sina looked at him firmly.<br/>
"Eren, we're leaving."<br/>
A man stared at her, disbelief in his eyes.<br/>
"What? But…"<br/>
"They can handle it, and we need to find the captain and the others."<br/>
"No, Sina, we can't leave them! What are you talking about?"<br/>
"I know what I'm talking about, Eren! Please don't argue, just do what I say!"<br/>
"But we can fight with them! I can transform and ..."<br/>
"Eren, believe in them! They are strong and experienced soldiers! They will succeed! See, they're doing it!"<br/>
Sina pointed her hand in the direction where the battle had broken out. Eren turned and fixed his gaze on the three scouts. They moved quickly, accurately and without a shadow of a doubt. Their every move was honed by many hours of hard training and the number of titan battles. They did not need to communicate with each other, from afar it seemed that they were just reading each other's thoughts - their actions were so harmonious. They successfully gouged out her eyes, which made the titan swayed and, unable to keep her feet, fell to the ground, but managed to close the most vulnerable part with her hands - the point where the neck joins the back. Then they simultaneously jumped from their place and rushed at her, chopping off the muscles of her shoulders, causing her hands to hang on both sides like rags. Eren, convinced that they were really doing it, turned back to Sina.<br/>
"O-okay, I believe. Let's go."<br/>
Sina nodded and was about to release the cables, but then there was a shout:<br/>
"Erd!"<br/>
The girl turned sharply and saw Erd flying right at the titan woman, ready to strike, but she abruptly and unexpectedly grabs him with her mouth, then bites in half. There is a loud, disgusting crunch, and she spits Erd's body out, which falls to the ground. "No Please!" She does not hear Eren screaming, she only watches as the titan runs after Petra, and she tries to hide, dodge, but does not have time, and she presses her into the tree with her foot. Time seemed to slow down for a girl, although in fact, less than twenty seconds had passed. They do not have time to fly when they see Oruo pulling himself up to her on the cables, her neck is completely open, you only need to chop harder, and she is finished. Sina freezes, and Oruo's blade shatters, fragments fall down in the rain, and the man did not even have time to turn around, as the female with tremendous force kicks right into him, throwing him back, and he crashes into a tree, leaving bloody traces on the dark bark.<br/>
A girl cannot even breathe, it seems to her that all the air has been pumped out of her lungs. She can't believe everyone is dead. Gunther. Erd. Peter. Oruo. These people, whom she had known for a year, fought with them shoulder to shoulder, covered their back, and they covered her. They joked together, laughed, complained about hard training. They spent every day together, from morning until late at night, throughout the year. They became her family. Even if they irritated her, sometimes they even frightened her, annoyed her, they had conflicts, but they were a team, a single whole, those on whom you can rely in any situation. They trusted each other like no other. And now they are gone. They are dead. She will never see them again. He won’t hear Erd’s laugh, he won’t roll his eyes at Gunther’s lectures, he won’t hug Petra, or grin at how Oruo ineptly tries to copy her brother. They will never run together again, never sit at the same table, or drink tea. A sob escaped from Sina's throat, she clutched at her heart as if it had been pierced through. The pain was too strong, it seemed, it was everywhere, in every cell of the body, tearing it to pieces. A touch on her shoulder brought her back to reality. She slowly turned her head and saw Anna.<br/>
"Sina, we urgently need to do something! Otherwise we are all finished!"<br/>
A girl turned her hazy gaze to the titan woman, who had not yet seen them, but it was just a matter of time. Sina's composure gradually returned, she with great effort shoved her emotions away so that they would not interfere with her assessment of the situation. Her gaze became hard, determined and icy, as if someone had turned off all the feelings in her, leaving only a cold calculation. Sina understood that they have only one path, and this time they cannot fail. She turned to her friends.<br/>
"Now it's our turn. We will fight her, and Eren at this time must go as far as possible and find Levi. Our task is to buy him time."<br/>
The girls nodded, realizing that this was the only way for Eren to leave unharmed. Sina knew that if they fought her, they would most likely not survive. She didn't want to sacrifice the lives of her friends. She could have let them go with Eren, but she understood that she would not last long here alone, she was not as strong as her brother, and could not buy a lot of time for them, but the three of them had a chance. They just need to hold out as long as possible. Sina smiled bitterly. In the end, her sixth sense was right again.<br/>
At that very moment, Eren flew up to them. Sina had just opened her mouth to begin when the young man interrupted her and raised his hand, signaling to be silent:<br/>
"No, Sina, I know what you want to tell me. Do not even think about it."<br/>
"Eren, listen to me ..."<br/>
"No, you listen to me." Sina had never heard him sound so harsh, his every word was filled with such hidden strength and power that the girl's knees involuntarily buckled, and her body shook with fear. "You won’t make me leave alone, but leave you here with her, so that you end up like everyone else. I will not let you die. I will kill this thing myself."<br/>
After these words, he turned around, without waiting for an answer, and rushed away, towards the female, completely ignoring Sina's screams. The girl rushed after him, but then a blinding flash pierced the sky, and then a wild roar was heard, as if a rabid animal had finally been released from the cage after a long imprisonment. She opened her eyes and saw another titan in front of her, running straight towards the titan. Sina was already preparing to release the cables, but then she was grabbed by the hand, and she turned sharply:<br/>
"No, Sina! You can get hit! There is nothing you can do to help him now." Anna spoke calmly and continued to hold Sina's hand in an iron grip.<br/>
A girl broke free from her friend's grip and exclaimed:<br/>
"We can't just stand and watch!"<br/>
"If we interfere, we can just prevent him. Do you want to waste your life?" a girl saw a silent plea in Anna's eyes, and subconsciously understood that she was right and now she could not do anything for Eren, she would only get confused under his feet. "He believed in us, now it's our turn to believe in him."<br/>
Sina nodded and looked over to where the two titans were fighting. She still couldn't get over the idea that Eren could indeed become a titan. Just knowing it and accepting it as a fact is one thing, but seeing it with your own eyes is another. Sina saw Eren rush forward, swinging to hit her, but she easily dodged, jumping to the left and then kicking him in the stomach, causing Eren to double over. Fortunately, he was quickly able to return to normal position and then swung again. The titan avoided the blow, but leaned too far back, hitting her back against a tree, and a second later she was already firmly on her feet.<br/>
For a while, they simply circled opposite each other, observing the movements of the enemy. Sina nervously bit her lip, her fingers gripping her blades painfully, she kept an eye on the two titans. The female was good, very good indeed. She perfectly mastered the skills of hand-to-hand combat, moved confidently and slowly, carefully considering each step. Will Eren be able to defeat such an opponent? The girl shook her head. No, you have to believe in him. He is very strong and determined. During training, he always gave his best, never gave up, even if something did not work out, he always achieved his goal. He can do it.<br/>
Eren moved first, again unleashing blow after blow on the titan woman, but she gracefully dodged, and on the last blow did a somersault, and then ran to the left. Eren rushed after her, shaking the ground, making the trees seem to move. This frantic dance began again, where Eren again and again swung, and the titan easily dodged. Eren strikes again, and this time the titan woman falls.The young man, without wasting a minute, hangs from above and presses her with his body to the ground. Eren, aiming right in the face, unleashes a new blow at her, but she manages to move her head to the side in time, and the blow falls on the ground a few centimeters from her face. A loud crunch is heard, and Sina is horrified to see Eren's arm break, bones pierce the skin, and only short stumps remain from the fingers. Sina's stomach is cramping, she closes her eyes for a couple of seconds, takes a deep breath, then exhales to recover. When he opens his eyes, he sees that Eren is swinging his second hand, but again past. Now both of his arms are broken, they are dangling by tendons, like leaves dangling from branches in autumn, about to come off. "Now he has no choice but to wait for his hands to heal." Sina realizes that he is in a losing position, but the female titan also hesitates for now, staring directly at Eren. Steam rises from his hands, the air sparkles around them, making it difficult to see. Nevertheless, the girl sees Eren leaning over the titan's face, and a loud and desperate roar escapes from his throat. She looks down at his hand and notices that it is almost healed. “Come on, Eren. A little bit more". But at this moment, the female grabs him by the forearm and pushes him away with force, causing Eren to fly off, crashing into a tree. She rises to her feet, and at the same second the young man is next to her, his fist drives over her face, but only touching, then a second blow, and she rolls to the side, falling to the ground. Sina looks at the same scene. It comes, it goes away. But then a girl's heart skips a beat when Eren swings again, but the titan does it faster, her hand is covered with something transparent and shiny, like a crystal. Sina recalls that the exact same substance was coated on the back of her neck when Oruo tried to attack her. Eren reacts with lightning speed, his teeth digging into her hand and rolling up the smooth and crystal-like material like ice, and then he knocks the titan back several meters. A guy runs straight at her, but she manages to bounce, and the knee hits a tree.<br/>
Sina didn't understand what happened next. Here they are facing each other, both trying to catch their breath, and the next second the titan woman kicks, knocking the tree in half. And Eren's head too. She did not remember how she screamed, how she released the cables and rushed directly at the titan woman, bringing the blades over her head, she did not remember how she raised her hand to grab her. But the next second, she felt something hitting her, and something throws her off, and she falls to the ground, and a painful moan escapes her lips. From the blow, sparks fly from her eyes, her head seems to explode now, and there is a metallic taste of blood in her mouth. She seems to have bitten her tongue. But it all disappears as soon as Julie's shrill scream reaches her:<br/>
"Anna!"<br/>
Sina opens her eyes, and everything around freezes, including her heart, when she sees the picture in front of her. Anna lies on the ground, in a pool of blood, which is getting bigger and bigger. Her head is thrown back, her eyes are closed. She does not move, and Julie runs as fast as she can. "No, no, no, no, oh God, please, you, just not this!" Sina no longer sees how the female comes to Eren, opens its mouth and bites off part of his neck, freeing him from flesh, and then swallows. She does not see all this, because only Anna stands before her eyes. She gets up, pain pierces her whole body, but she doesn't care. The main thing is to get to Anna. Sina with the last bit of strength gets to her friend, whom Julie holds by the shoulders and tries to revive.<br/>
"Anna! Can you hear me? Anna! Wake up!"<br/>
"W-what happened to her?"   Sina looks at Julie in dismay.<br/>
"When you flew to the titan, we saw that she was swinging at you, shouted at you to stop, but you did not listen. Then Anna caught up with you and pushed you away so that she would not get you. But then instead of you, she grabbed her by the cables and threw her against a tree."<br/>
She could not breathe, her throat was squeezed by an invisible hand. The heart seemed to have stopped altogether, and the ground underfoot cracked. She kept repeating to herself "no, no, no, no" and could not stop. Tears began to flow from her eyes, and she did not even try to wipe them away. Realization fell on her like a huge stone. It's all because of her. It's all her fault. If she hadn't been led by emotions. If she could control herself. If she hadn't acted stupidly and recklessly, Anna would have been all right. Suddenly Anna coughed, a trickle of blood flowed from the corner of her lips, making a way down her neck. She slowly opened her eyes, her breathing fast and hoarse. The girls immediately jumped up, holding her head so that she would not choke on her own blood.<br/>
"Anna, hold on! We will help you now! Everything will be fine, you hear!"<br/>
Anna coughed again and more blood came out of her mouth. Then a girl tried to speak, but she succeeded only on the third attempt.<br/>
"J-julie ..."<br/>
"Shh… Don't say anything! You can only hurt yourself."<br/>
But Anna ignored her words. The girl's face became white as a sheet, her lips turned blue, and the wheezing escaping from her chest was periodically replaced by new attacks of coughing.<br/>
"J-julie ... take care of Erwin f-for me ..."<br/>
"Shut up! Don't you dare say that! You won't die, hear me!"<br/>
But Sina saw her eyes sparkle with tears. When Anna raised her hand slightly, Julie immediately grabbed her with her two, squeezing tightly, as if trying to warm her. After that, Anna turned her head slightly and met Sina's eyes. A girl saw that her friend was trying with the last bit of strength to remain conscious. Every now and then she closed her eyes, and then with an effort opened them again, as if this was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. Finally, Anna so quietly that Sina had to bend over to her to hear, said:<br/>
"S-sina ..."<br/>
"God, Anna, forgive me! I'm so sorry, Anna, please ..." Sina was choking with tears, her voice broke, and she almost screamed, her whole body was shaken by a massive shiver.<br/>
Anna could no longer even raise her hands, so she only slightly moved her fingers, but this was enough for Sina to understand what she wanted. A girl quickly wrapped her fingers around her friend's icy palm.<br/>
"N-now we are ... in the calculation ..." The girl tried to smile, but another fit of coughing made her spit out more blood. "T-tell the captain ... w-what I'm sorry ... and t-that I tried my best ..."<br/>
"You’ll tell him yourself, do you understand? And what a idiot he is, you say too! And call him short, as you always do!" Sina desperately squeezed Anna's hand, but she almost did not hear her words. Her breathing became slower, and her wheezing subsided. Now her face was no different from the snow in winter. Sina's tears dripped onto Anna's black shirt, which was now burgundy with blood. “She cannot die, not Anna! After all the deaths, I ask You, do not take her! " How would he and Julie be without her? Who will wake them up in the morning and make them get out of bed? Who will make jokes, even if they are sometimes offensive? Who will constantly argue with Levi, annoy him even more, and then receive punishment for this? Who will constantly protect them on missions to make sure they don't get into trouble? Who will be part of their family? Without Anna, the world will not be the same as before.<br/>
"Anna, don't close your eyes! Look at us, but don't close your eyes!"<br/>
They slapped her cheeks, pinched her, shook her, but it was useless. Sina saw how the last drops of life left her body. Her heart was breaking, tears kept rolling down and rolling down her cheeks, her shirt was soaking wet. She clung to Anna's palm, as if it were her last hope, as if thanks to this she would remain alive. A girl sighed for the last time and said:<br/>
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."<br/>
And her breathing stopped.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>